- An exchange between Simon and Sydney:
Simon: When have I ever let you down before?
*Sydney glares at him*
Simon: Oh look, there's your mom.
- Simon and Zach improvising a sexy meat song on the fly in front of Kelly Clarkson in a restaurant.
Sydney: I'm about to watch America's sweetheart orgasm in front of my father.
- This version had Kelly unable to keep a straight face.
- Sydney's horror at Kelly grinding up against Zach in the recording booth.
- Simon dodging questions about his Pro Bono project involving ducklings.
Sydney: Can I have a straight answer?Simon: No but you can have a gay one because ducks are fabulous! I can say that because Gay Brad's out today. Although I suppose he's out every day.
Simon: Andrew! Release the quackens!
- When releasing said ducklings back into the wild.
- Simon learns that Sydney never learned to drive because she was traumatized from the way he taught her (he let go of the steering wheel, while at the interstate, and forced her to jump to the driver's seat), and decides to give her a real driving lesson. Hilarity Ensues
Simon: You see the stop sign? You see the stop sign? You see-oh, there it went.
- Simon points out a stop sign
Other Driver: Well, the good news is that the car isn't nearly as damaged as you two are.
- A bird is on the road directly in front of the car; Sydney slowly drives forward with the constant assurance by Simon that the bird will move. It doesn't.
- After, he tells her to stop and let the pedestrians cross, immediately worried that she won't stop because she "has bloodlust."
- Sydney attempting to make a left turn.
- Towards the end of the day Sydney has a moment where she comes close to giving up, and we get additional glimpses of her Hilariously Abusive Childhood
- She was taught to swim by being thrown into Lake Michigan and told "to find the shore"
- During a camping trip, Simon doused her with turkey urine "to mask (her) human scent" because she wanted to see a deer. It was turkey mating season. Also, turkeys are very sexual.
- Simon helping Andrew to off his on-again-off-again relationship with a dominative woman leads to him burning her cardigan. Which naturally sets off the fire alarm and brings a bit more attention than they're used to.
Firefighter: I am legally required to ask if you were aroused at any moment during the fire.
- Even better: Sydney tried to put it out first with just a 500ml bottle, muttering "we need more water". Cue the sprinklers.
- Simon obliges Helena in testing out the dating website.
Q: What weather system best describes your sex life?
Simon: If you're talking last summer, it is 'hurricane', ironically with a woman named Katrina... At the moment, bit of a drought, crops are withering... (Native American accent) It Is He Who Sits With His Fist is my tribe name...
Andrew: That's lovely. By the way, does anyone have a cyanide pill?Lauren: I might.
- The group finds out what Zach's sex face looks like, and can help but notice whenever he makes it in everyday life. Then Lauren begins imitating what it used to look like.
- According to the outtakes, Lauren went through enough different expressions to make Simon go "what's wrong with you?"
- Simon's pitch for the erectile dysfunction pill. If it's not the gospel singers, it's this line:
- Simon's seething hatred for Australia.
- Especially Simon and the musician improvising songs about how much they hate Australia and New Zealand.
- Andrew and his rather Shipping-esue fantasies about Snap, Krackle, and Pop. He even makes a female OC...
- Sydney turning the tables on the Spoiled Brat intern winds up with one.
- Sydney becoming a smug video game addict in "The Face of a Winner".
- The "intervention" done within the game thanks to multiplayer and some ridiculous character customisation.
- Everyone who gets the office virus being quarantined in the conference room, with so many humidifiers running that it looks like a swamp.
- "Love Sucks" gives us the simultaneously hilarious and sweet spectacle that is Gordon singing "Wrecking Ball" for Timothy.
- When the agency has to petsit the cat food mascot Princess, Lauren reveals that it's a male.
"You can see his little cat balls. Cat penis you can't see... until it's too late."
- Zach and Andrew groove to the sounds of a gospel choir while carrying a coffin out of a church.
- Simon goes into something of a Heroic BSOD after being beaten by the quantifier analyst.
Sydney: Dad, I just got a memo, did you just promote the copier machine to Head of Communications?
Simon: Yes. It's very efficient, doesn't take breaks, and doesn't complain when I sit on it with no pants."
Andrew: In my defence, you are heavier than you look.
- The outtakes for "Zach Mitzvah". Just this one.
James Wolk: "Your son looks great, I can't wait to spend the night with him... at the bar mitzvah..."
(scene derails as everyone melts down)
Robin Williams: "He's really gonna be a man after that!"
- In "The Lighthouse" Zach is wondering if he should do his usual love 'em and leave 'em routine with the woman he just had sex with or if he should try something new by spending the night. His internal dialogue involves imagining Andrew in a night shirt and night cap lying in bed next to him while he and the woman are coming off their post coital high. Made funnier by how the camera pans to show that all three actors are in bed together for the shot.
- A lot of the Hilarious Outtakes that play over the end credits.
Funny / The Crazy Ones
It's a Robin Williams series, of course it's gonna be chock full of these!