Funny / The Cable Guy

  • "Ohh, Billy..."
  • A spider crawls on Chip's face while talking to Steven on the phone. What's better is that Chip doesn't seem to notice the spider. Which just adds to his creepiness.
  • "I think he was... ASIAN!"
    • "He was speaking another language... I'm pretty sure it was... Asian"
  • Tonight, on UPN! The trial that has captured the nation! The world is waiting for the verdict! But YOU don't have to wait for the movie!
    Sam Sweet (played by Eric Roberts): Crybaby.
    Stan Sweet (also played by Eric Roberts): I love you!
    Sam Sweet: You were ALWAYS such a crybaby! (Stan pleads for him to stop) Look who's cryin' now!
    Announcer: ERIC ROBERTS is Stan and Sam Sweet, in... Brother Sweet Brother: The Killing of Stanton Sweet. Parental discretion advised.
  • Steven's nightmare. While it has Nightmare Fuel, Chip was hilarious in it.