- Everyone (except Chloe) snarking on Sam's show "J.T. Lancer" when it comes on.
Sarah: (in deep voice) Say, baby, let's eat.
- The whole scene of Nick interviewing himself. Even better when Harold walks in on it:
Nick: Harold, we're on the air!Harold: Oh! Sorry.
- This conversation between Harold and Karen while they're stoned:
Karen: I know that Richard (her husband) will always be faithful to me.Harold: That's nice. You trust.Karen: (shakes her head) Fear of herpes.
- Sam walks in on Nick watching a movie on TV in the middle of the night:
Sam: What's this?Nick: I'm not sure.Sam: What's it about?Nick: I don't know.Sam: Who's that?Nick: I think the guy in the hat did something terrible.(shot of TV shows a man being thrown through the glass window of a door; all the people on the TV screen are wearing hats)
- Sam, Harold, Meg, Michael and Karen are sitting around talking.
Sam: In Hollywood, I don't know who to trust. I don't know who likes me or why they even do like me.Harold: Well you don't have that problem here. (Sam smiles) You know I don't like you.Michael: Me neither.Meg: Ditto.Sam: Assholes!
- Sam trying and failing to leap into his car like he does on his TV show
- Michael's summation of funerals and wakes:
Amazing tradition. They throw a great party for you on the one day they know you can't come.