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Funny: The Beatles
  • This session for Think For Yourself. "Mariiiina, Aquamariiiiina, How come you fuck up everything that you dooooo?"
    • "SOMEBODY UP THERE LIKES ME!!!" "IT'S JEEZUS, OUR LORD AND SAVIYUH!!!"
    • "I will be pleased to see the earth-men disintegrated!"
    • "YEAH, BUT LET'S FACE IT, YOU'RE CRAP!!! AREN'T YOU???"
  • "I'VE GOT BLISTERS ON MAH FINGERS!!!"
  • The song "You Know My Name (Look Up The Number)". It's like a comedic vs. of "Revolution #9", but as a John and Paul collaboration and much more enjoyable. Includes Paul as "Dennis O'Dell."
  • All the crazy ways the Beatles counted off songs, "One, two, three, FAH!" "One, two, three, FAWWEH!" "One, two, three, HAWW!!" "Sugar plum fairy, sugar plum fairy..."
  • In the Anthology outtake of "I'm Down", Paul criticizes his performance as "plastic soul". And it wasn't half bad.
    • Allegedly, it was what Paul heard black musicians call Mick Jagger's early British blues style at the time. The phrase reportedly led to the band calling their next studio album, Rubber Soul.
  • Paul in an interview, responding to people's interpretations of depravity in their songs: "We were just trying to write songs about prostitutes and lesbians, that's all."
  • "Why Don't We Do It In The Road", arguably the dirtiest and simultaneously funniest thing Paul ever did during his time with the Beatles.
  • For "Oh! Darling," Paul went into the recording studio before the other Beatles would show up for days on end to try and nail the raw vocal performance he wanted in one take. And to have fun with the tape delay, judging by this outtake. Oh, the delirium of it all!
    Paul: Experiments of a due nature being carried out on rats. And people... and rats. And ratty people. And people-y rats.
    • The Beatles were often known to have fun with delays (and other effects) in the studio, one result of which was the ending of "Lovely Rita".
  • The outtakes from "No Reply" on the Beatles Anthology collection. Basically they keep singing "YOUR FACE!" over and over again instead of replacing it with a different lyric each time, resulting in some hilarious combinations.
    • Also an outtake from "I'll Be Back." After Lennon finds he can't sing in the current key, he continues singing like he's completely drunk.
    • And another from "And Your Bird Can Sing." Paul starts giggling, and then he sets off John. Neither of them can stop for the entire song.
    • The "Polythene Pam" outtakes have John and George devolving into gibberish.
    • A Rocky Raccoon outtake is hilarious for a number of reasons, chief among them the fact that Paul accidentally says 'sminking'.
    • The "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away" outtake
    John: "Paul's broken a glass, broken a glass, Paul's broken a glass, a glass, a glass he's broke today"
    • Happiness is a warm gun
    John: "Mother superior JUMP-oh shit!"
  • "Only A Northern Song", if you listen to the lyrics.
    "If you're listening to this song,
    you may think that the chords are going wrong,
    but they're not,
    we just wrote it like that"
    • Even funnier in the Anthology version
    "If you're listening to this song,
    you may think the chords are going wrong,
    but they're not,
    I just wrote it like that.
    If you listen late at night,
    you may think the words are not quite right,
    but they are,
    I just wrote them myself."
  • "Drive My Car", especially the climax:
    "I got no car, and it's breaking my heart
    But I found a driver, and that's a start"
  • Maxwell's Silver Hammer, a delightfully cheerful song about a serial killer. The juxtaposition of dark lyrical content with an upbeat tune is hilarious.
  • The interviews are funny as hell as well:
    • Their first time in the US, the press tried to harass them, resulting in very funny comments from the boys, the most (in?)famous one being:
    Reporter: "Why does it [their music] charm the girls so much?"
    John: "If we knew we'd form another group and be managers."
    • The same happened in many of their other interviews. Another memorable moment was when they stated they had finished making their first movie, resulting in this:
    Reporter: "Have you got time to actually spend this money?"
    George: "What money?"
  • John's weird little story about how the Beatles came to be, and got their name. (Paul later called one of his solo albums Flaming Pie.) Here's a link to the whole thing: "Being a Short Diversion on the Dubious Origins of the Beatles
    Many people ask what are Beatles? Why Beatles? Ugh, Beatles, how did the name arrive? So we will tell you. It came in a vision—a man appeared in a flaming pie and said unto them "From this day on you are Beatles with an A." "Thank you, Mister Man," they said, thanking him."
  • The band's annual Christmas fan club records were this, when not being downright surreal.
  • The skit in which all four Beatles perform the "Pyramus and Thisbe" scene from A Midsummer Night's Dream (available on YouTube here). It's one of the funniest scenes in all of theater anyway, but when the Beatles get their hands on it, well.
  • "Hey Bulldog". It's so demented it probably inspired The Residents.
  • "Would the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands, and the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewellery."
  • On Help!, the track immediately after "[I have got] Another Girl" is "You're Gonna Lose That Girl". The song titles are also heard immediately after another. There is absolutely no way this wasn't intentional!
  • "What's the New Mary Jane" is this (when it isn't being Nightmare Fuel-ish) thanks to some fun Spoonerisms and such. The laid-back, uber-hippietastic "Let's-do-this-in-one-take" fake children's song vibe also helps.
    "She like to be married with yeti
    he grooving such cookie spaghetti
    She jumping as Mexican bean
    to make that her body more thin
    "
  • The many times they took advantage of deafening crowd reactions by doing stuff like using Nazi slogans, or John acting like a "spastic" (his words) just for a laugh. And nobody ever noticed... because, seriously, how would they be able to?
  • The Rooftop Concert for the "Let It Be" production: a brief moment at the darkest hour as the band was breaking apart, they head upstairs and put on a performance where they're actually enjoying themselves and cracking jokes between takes.
  • At one point during the Let It Be documentary, Ringo is relaxing after a take when Paul's stepdaughter, Heather, taps on one of the cymbals, spooking him.
  • When the Beatles (minus Ringo, who hadn't joined yet) first auditioned for George Martin, he and two other Parlophone producers felt they weren't good enough. The other two producers were blunt about it. Martin, trying to be nice, asked the boys, "Is there anything you don't like?", meaning the recording session. George quipped, "Well, I don't like your tie." Martin cracked up. Encouraged, the Beatles just started riffing off each other for several minutes straight: they got the three producers laughing so hard they were in tears. And that, boys and girls, is how the Beatles got their first record deal.
  • Ringo's ad-lib before the solo on "If You've Got Trouble", sardonically commenting on his bandmates' rather lackluster performance: "aw, rock on, ANYBODY!"
  • Judging from the surviving recording, they were in a very good mood for what ended up being their final concert at Candlestick Park in 1966, making all kinds of silly comments in the song introductions:
    John: This one's about the naughty lady, called "Day Tripper".
    George: We'd like to carry on with something that's very old indeed. And this one was recorded about 1959 and it's called "I Feel Fine"note .
    Paul: We'd like to do the next number now, which is a special request for all the wonderful backroom boys on this tour and the song is called "I Wanna Be Your Man".

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