Funny / The Bard's Tale

  • The 2004 The Bard's Tale has quite a few of these, many of which come when you choose the snarky option during dialogues.
    • You can also get some fun reading on the descriptions for your summons and bonus artifacts. For example, when describing the rat.
    Narrator: A common rat. I was of course referring to the animal and not the bard.
    Narrator: All hail the Bard, Rat Killer and Rodent Bane, who has bravely made the cellars once again safe for buxom barmaids and wanton widows! ...Or has he?
    A giant rat sneaks up from behind and breathes fire, engulfing the Bard and forcing him to retreat
    Narrator: All hail the Bard, Rat Killer and Rodent Bane, who has bravely ma-
    Bard: [snappily] How 'bout you tell the story and leave the sarcastic patronising to me?
    • The little exchange betwen them when you kill your first encounter with a standard wolf is a gem, too:
    Narrator: The Bard having slain the random wolf found that it had digested not only the contents of a small treasury but also various household goods... Wait, am I reading that correctly? That can't be right.
    Bard: You'd be surprised. I find all kinds of things inside these beasties. Did I ever tell you about the time I killed this rat and out popped an entire chest...
    Narrator: Well, I'm just going to skip those passages in the future.
    Bard: What? That's a major source of income! You cheap, good for nothing horse's...
    Narrator: Ahem. And so the Bard continued on his journey.
  • "You got served!"
  • The bard comes across a ferry that the operator says takes you INTO THE FUTURE! And then the bard asks how far into the future it will take him. To which the operator says "It depends on how long the ride is"
  • Cow Tipping. It serves no purpose other then poops and giggles.
  • Every time the characters start singing. Especially the three small Trows who pop out of nowhere every time the Bard finds the remains of a Chosen One for singing about his horrible fate.
  • And this:
    Dugan: Oh you'll encounter some undead warriors.
    Bard: How many?
    Dugan: Oh, a few. A score. Now then you'll-
    Bard: Wait! Which is it? A few or a score? There's a big difference.
    Dugan:A few score. Now as I was saying.
    • "Score" is an archaic way of saying "twenty." Basically; "prepare for a Zerg Rush".