Funny: The Andy Griffith Show

  • Many, many examples, but this bit from The Pickle Story particularly stands out:
    (looking over Aunt Bea's homemade pickles)
    Barney: "Shoo fly!" (beat) "He's dead..."
    • From the same episode, while they're surreptitiously switching out Aunt Bea's pickles:
      Andy: "Now, you understand why we're doing this, don't you?"
      Opie: "Uh huh; because we don't wanna hurt Aunt Bea's feelings, and you don't want me to get sick again."
  • Opie is on the phone with Ms. Crump and Barney is prompting him:
    Ms. Crump: "Opie, is anyone there with you?"
    Opie: "She wants to know if anyone's here with me."
    Barney: "No! No one! You're alone."
    Opie: (into the phone) "Barney says no one."
  • Barney tries to call Thelma-Lou while Opie is over. Opie answers the phone:
    Barney: "Hey, pussy-cat!"
    Opie: "Oh, hi Barney."
  • Andy goes out of town on business for a day, leaving Barney in charge. When he gets back, Barney has about half the town locked up, including the Mayor, Aunt Bea, and Opie!
  • "Now here at The Rock, we have two basic rules...."