In Trailer Failure- "(After a series of double entendres) You know what my favorite part of the female anatomy is? The spleen. Followed by the appendix."
The Distressed Watcher dancing to the Legend Of Zelda theme.
His critique of the Idiot Plot in Revenge of the Sith and how obviously evil Palpatine was. "Don't Worry. You'll get what's coming to you." "Oh good." and "That would be like creating a grenade that instead of exploding told you really boring stories in the hope that you would kill yourself.
"I gotta go to the bathroom for a minute."
In his "Alejandro" video: "Dance gay Nazi slaves, DANCE."
"I fucking wanna know, how do you qualify real? 'If people know about it, then it's real, but Scooby Doo's not real, even though people do know about him. Why? Because Scooby Doo's a dog. Dogs don't fucking count!'"
"Mario's real! Congratulations, Internet! Mario is fucking real! *beat* MAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRIOOOOOOO! ITZA ME, MARIOOOOO! ITZA ME! I'M REAL NOW! I'M A FICTIONAL CHARACTER, BUT I'M ALSO SOMEHOW FUCKING REAL!" All while jumping up in down in rage. Hilarious.
"Actually, yes, in order to be a Satanist, YOU HAVE TO WORSHIP SATAN." (And by extension, believe that he exists. You know, like how an atheist wouldn't?).
One letter ends as "get you so new glasses so u can see the smexi in just okay so'." When TJ is understandably baffled by this, the troll doll explains that they were hungry when they wrote that, and wanted some queso, which is then clarified as "some Mexican cheese dip", and that it was influencing what they were writing at the time.
Troll doll: ''You have no life but to bag on people, and it's not fucking funny. Justin Bieber probably doesn't hate you?! You wanna know why ?! Cuz he doesn't know you! He is an inspiration to millions of people! He came from a small town in Canada! He played hockey and learned to play piano drums and guitar!''
His reaction to a self-proclaimed psychic saying "Scientists come up with scientific explanations when they can't explain things".
His comparison to her claiming that God is killing fish and birds to get ready for the apocalypse, to the Rocky training montage.
I FAP IN DEFIANCE OF YOU, JESUS CHRIST LORD AND SAVIOR!!!
The (apparently unscripted) end of the "RIOTS!" video. First TJ encourages Cody to step in front of the camera and say something significant (which results in "cupcakes and glitter"), and then we get this gem:
Cody: Your breath smells like a hooker's butthole. TJ: (deadpan) That's not a coincidence.
The end of "Top Ten Sequels (that are better than the original).
"Number Zero - The Godfather Part II. I've never seen it, but a lot of people say it's good. So it probably is!"