In Trailer Failure- "(After a series of double entendres) You know what my favorite part of the female anatomy is? The spleen. Followed by the appendix."
The Distressed Watcher dancing to the Legend Of Zelda theme.
His critique of the Idiot Plot in Revenge of the Sith and how obviously evil Palpatine was.. "Don't Worry. You'll get what's coming to you." "Oh good." and "that would be like creating a grenade that instead of exploding told you really boring stories in the hope that you would kill yourself.
"I gotta go to the bathroom for a minute."
In his Alejandro video: "Dance gay Nazi slaves, DANCE."
"I fucking wanna know, how do you qualify real? 'If people know about it, then it's real, but Scooby Doo's not real, even though people do know about him. Why? Because Scooby Doo's a dog. Dogs don't fucking count!'"
"Mario's real! Congratulations, Internet! Mario is fucking real! *beat* MAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRIOOOOOOO! ITZA ME, MARIOOOOO! ITZA ME! I'M REAL NOW! I'M A FICTIONAL CHARACTER, BUT I'M ALSO SOMEHOW FUCKING REAL!" All while jumping up in down in rage. Hilarious.
"Actually, yes, in order to be a Satanist, YOU HAVE TO WORSHIP SATAN." (And by extension, believe that he exists. You know, like how an atheist wouldn't?).
I FAP IN DEFIANCE OF YOU, JESUS CHRIST LORD AND SAVIOUR!!!
The (apparently unscripted) end of the "RIOTS!" video. First TJ encourages Cody to step in front of the camera and say something significant (which results in "cupcakes and glitter", and then we get this gem:
Cody: Your breath smells like a hooker's butthole. TJ: (deadpan) That's not a coincidence.
The end of "Top Ten Sequels (that are better than the original).
"Number Zero - The Godfather Part II. I've never seen it, but a lot of people say it's good. So it probably is!"
TJ's total breakdown in this video about a really crazy Straw Feminist who seems to literally think that every form of sexual activity performed by a man means that he supports rape. Especially when poor TJ screams with outrage at the list maker and later starts laughing hysterically.