Funny: The Alamo
- The scene where Crockett and his Tennesseans arrive at San Antonio.
Smitty: Colonel, what do C A N T I N A spell?Tennessean #1: Cantina! Do it mean what I think it do?Tennessean #2: It do.Crockett: It means out of our deer skins and into our foofaraws!
- Crockett's men then spend the next couple of minutes tossing clothing (both simple and fancy) into the air trying to get dolled up.
- "Here's to the ladies, I love 'em all. Here's to the ones I recall. Here's to the ladies, married and free, they all look pretty good to me!"
- Crockett and Travis' first meeting, if you want to call it that.
Crockett: (a woman literally falls into Travis' arms, though he manages to catch her. Crockett then comes to retrieve the girl) Sorry sir, she must have come loose!
- During a party being thrown by Crockett and his Tennesseans, Smitty is sitting and listening to the music, minding his own business. Then Crockett, for seemingly no reason other than because he can, hands the boy over to a pretty girl to dance with. His only justification?
Crockett: Well, son, you better start growing up.
- The charming Running Gag between two of the Tennesseeans.
Tennessean #1: Do (...) mean what I think it do?Tennessean #2: It do.
- We never do learn their names.
- The scene where Crockett meets Flaca and the greedy businessman Emil for the first time.
Emil: You have business here?Crockett: Promised Mother.Emil: Your mother?Crockett: Pray to the North Star, ten minutes every night. Long line of Star worshipers. It keeps the rheumatism away.Flaca: *smothers a laugh*
- "Gratuity for the boy."
- When Travis' men question Crockett about some of his past adventures.
Travis' man: Hey, Davy! Is it true that you and Mike Fink fought a three-day fight on the Mississippi?Crockett: That's just an example of the tall tales folks tell about me! Me and Mike fought all right, but we quit at dark. It wouldn't have been the third day until the next morning! (everyone laughs and Crockett and his men ride off)
- When poor Beekeeper loses his whisky, thanks to enemy fire.
Beekeper: No... Why'd they have to go and... THAT AIN'T NO FAIR WAY TO FIGHT A WAR!
- Jethro and Crockett greeting each other, as Crockett goes to give Bowie his wake-up call.
Jethro: Morning, Colonel. He's still sleeping.Crockett: (grins) I'll take care of that, Jethro. (kicks open door, throws bucket of water on Jim Bowie)Bowie: CROCKETT!!!
- A few during the Battle of San Jacinto: First, seeing one Texan dive over the makeshift wall the Mexicans have made and tackling one soldier to the ground. Another is when a Mexican officer folds his arms in surrender (or dignity)...only to get hit across the face with a musket butt.