Funny / The Addams Family

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     1964 TV Series 
  • Both scenes of Wednesday teaching Lurch how to dance are Crowning Moments of Funny, Heartwarming AND Awesome.
  • This exchange from the episode with the biker Rocky when the family plans to invite his father for dinner.
    Wednesday: We have a surprise for you!
    Rocky: I know. Satan's coming to dinner.
    Wednesday: Oh, no. That was last week!
    • Earlier, when Rocky mentions being surrounded by weirdos, Fester asks where. Rocky says in the other room, and Fester ecstatically proclaims "This I gotta see!"


  • After "Fester" nearly gives himself away, Gomez vents his frustrations by crashing his model trains. We see a shot from inside the train, which features a miniature living person who looks up from reading the newspaper to see Gomez laughing maniacally.
    • Also a Creator Cameo. That's director Barry Sonnenfeld.
    • "Spirits above, give me a sign! Shall I be joyous or shall I be damned?!" [trains collide, exploding and causing the house to shake]
  • Gomez's Heroic B.S.O.D. after being forced out of his home. He now sits around all day watching television.
    Morticia: Why don't we go for a drive? The whole family?
    Gomez: A drive? And miss Gilligan?!
    • Also the family's attempts at trying to "fit in" to this new lifestyle. One example happens right after the above dialogue:
    Grandmama: [peeks her head in through the front door] Dinner's gonna be late! [goes out; heard from outside] Here boy! Here boy!
  • Wednesday's concerned elementary-school teacher approaches Morticia with a picture Wednesday brought to class as part of her report on 'Our Heroes': an old woodcut of a witch being burned at the stake.
    Morticia: Wednesday's great-aunt Calpurnia. She was burned as a witch in 1706. They say she danced naked in the town square and enslaved a minister.''
    Teacher: ...r-really?
    Morticia: Oh yes. But don't worry: we've told Wednesday 'College first.'
    • Also, Morticia's reaction after hearing one of Wednesday's classmates did her report on Jane Pauley.
    Morticia: [worried] Have you spoken to her parents?
    • Briefly after that scene, we see Margaret fawning over her son in his elf costume, finishing up with the typical "you're so adorable I could eat you alive!"
    Morticia: Oh no, Margaret! Too young!
  • After the Addamses are thrown out, we get this dear dialogue...
    Morticia: We will survive! Poison us,strangle us, break our bones - we will come back for more. And why?
  • After the dance scene, Flora and Fauna tell Fester that "I'll call once I'm alone". Funny enough given they're conjoined twins... but then their ride to the insane asylum shows up, and they're last seen waving goodbye as the straitjacket is put on.
  • Wednesday. Nothing can stop her deadpan - and sometimes deadly - response to the smugness and faux happiness that surrounds her.
    Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
    Wednesday: Yes.
    Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
    Pugsley: Yes.
    Girl Scout: Well, I'll tell you what. I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
    Wednesday: Are they Made from Real Girl Scouts?
  • At one point, Grandmama is seen apparently cross referencing The Joy of Cooking with Gray's Anatomy.
    • And later, once Gordon had more fully-integrated with the family, he and Pugsley prank her by putting a skeletal arm in her stew. "That's for company!"
  • Gordon's first breakfast with the family
    Wednesday (to Gordon):Could you pass the salt?
    Morticia:What do we say?
    Wednesday (after a contemplative pause): Now.
    • Later on, while the family is eating Wednesday is quietly is eating her meal and Morticia corrects her table manners.
    Morticia: Wednesday! Play with your food.
  • Wednesday stalks by with a butcher knife, and Morticia stops her with a stern 'Is that for your brother?' Wednesday nods and submits to being disarmed, after which Morticia takes a slaughterhouse cleaver from a nearby rack, hands it to Wednesday and sends her on her way.
  • Thing is desperately trying to use sign language to tell Gomez that Morticia is in danger, but Gomez is having a hard time understanding.
    Gomez: Slow down! It's terrible when you stutter!

    Addams Family Values 

  • Wednesday has never heard of the Delivery Stork. And it doesn't sound too plausible to her.
    [Lullaby Music is playing]
    Girl in Waiting Room: And then Mommy kissed Daddy, and the angel told the stork, and the stork flew down from heaven, and left a diamond under a leaf in the cabbage patch, and the diamond turned into a baby!
    Pugsley: Our parents are having a baby, too.
    [Music stops, dramatic zoom on Wednesday]
    Wednesday: They had sex.
  • Also:
    Hippie-Nanny: Children, as your new nanny, I know that we are all concerned about the environment. So, this morning, let's discuss how to prevent forest fires.
    Wednesday: Prevent them? [lights a very large match]
    Strict Nanny: All right children, I have had it up to here. Now you just answer one simple question; where is that baby?
    Wednesday: Which part?
    Maid-Nanny: [with a hand puppet] Hello kiddies, I'm Polly the Puppet. What shall we do today? I know! Let's all clean our rooms!
    Wednesday: [pulls out a devil puppet] Hello Polly, I'll clean my room ... in exchange for your immortal soul. [devil puppet rubs hand together]
  • The bit where Wednesday apparently breaks under the peer pressure of the camp and begins smiling.
    Amanda Buckman: She's scaring me!
  • Morticia's first line:
    Morticia: Marvelous news. I'm going to have a baby [Beat] Right now.
  • Morticia is reading The Cat in the Hat to her suddenly rosy-cheeked son Pubert. ("To think... a child of mine.") She skips a few pages ahead and discovers what is, to her, a Downer Ending:
    Morticia: Oh no. He lives.
  • Gomez telling Fester, "I hope one day you know the indescribable joy of having children... and of paying someone else to raise them."
  • What about Raúl Juliá's phenomenally hammy performance at the police station. "Debbie! My brother's wife! The Temptress of WAIKIKI!"
    "HAS THE PLANET GONE MAD?! My brother—passion's hostage! I seek justice! Denied! But I shall not submit! I shall conquer, I shall rise! My name is Gomez Addams, and I have seen evil! [cut to grandma and the baby] I have seen horror! [cut to Lurch] I have seen the unholy maggots which feast in the dark recesses of the human soul! [Morticia: "They're at camp"] I have seen all this, but until today, I had never seen... you!
  • Lane gets in a couple moments, too. "Who are you?! What are you?! Who moved the rock?! [...] Just leave. Leave quietly, leave now. Don't make me call Ringling Brothers!"
    • "Hook him, book him, cook him. Now!"
  • Also, Gomez' phenomenally hammy breakdown after Fester refuses to see him; even when Fester finally escapes Debbie and comes home, Gomez is bed-ridden and delirious, wailing out Swing Low, Sweet Chariot. The two begin to reconcile, but Gomez makes his problem clear with this line;
    "You belong to Debbie. You're Debbie's love-toy! YOU... ARE... MISTER DEBBIE!!!"
  • After Fester and Debbie get married, Fester reminds her to throw the bouquet. Wednesday winds up catching it.
    Joel: Now you have to get married.
    Wednesday: It's not binding.
    Addams Relative: Tramp.
    • Though in The Musical, Wednesday does end up getting married (but not to Joel).
  • Again:
    Amanda's mother: And this little lady?
    Morticia: Oh, Wednesday's at that very special age when she has only one thing on her mind.
    Amanda's mother: Boys?
    Wednesday: Homicide.
  • The grown ups are crowding around Pubert and we get this lovely exchange:
    Gomez: Look at him. He has my father's eyes.
    Morticia: Gomez, take those out of his mouth.
  • More Too Kinky to Torture fun:
    Gomez: On his command I would crawl on my belly through hot coals and broken glass.
    Morticia: Why wait?
  • Debbie meeting the Addams for the first time:
    Debbie: [admiring Gomez] Well isn't he the lady killer.
    Gomez: Acquitted!
  • This small exchange at the summer-camp when practicing Lifeguard techniques.
    Amanda: I'll be the victim!
    Wednesday: All your life.
  • Another small exchange, when the two first meet:
    Amanda: Why are you dressed like that?
    Wednesday: Like what?
    Amanda: Like you're going to a funeral. Why are you dressed like somebody died?
    Wednesday: Wait.
    • As well as the entire destruction of the Thanksgiving Day pageant.
  • Uncle Fester's makeover, where he is given an orange pageboy and a white coat that has broad shoulders.
    • While moving into their home, even Joan Cusack gets in on the fun:
    Fester: *To the moving men, proudly* I'm her husband!
    Debbie: *embarrassed* Fester!
    Fester: Gimme a kiss.
    Debbie: Gimme a twenty. *An off-screen crash in heard* WATCH IT! THAT'S A QUEEN! ANNE! CHANDELIER!
  • During archery practice at camp, Pugsley shoots his arrow directly upwards. Moments later a bald eagle falls out of the sky, pierced by the arrow:
    Becky Martin-Granger: It's an American Bald Eagle!
    Gary Granger: But aren't they extinct?
    Wednesday: They are now.
  • Fester admitting after Debbie's death that he sometimes thinks about how, late at night, Debbie would say "JESUS Fester get back to your room!"
  • Morticia pleading with Debbie:
    "You have enslaved him. You have placed Fester under some strange sexual spell. I respect that. But please, may we see him?"
    • Even better comes this exchange:
    Morticia: You have gone too far. You have married Fester. You have destroyed his spirit. You have taken him from us. All that I could forgive, but Debbie...
    Debbie *cue quizzical look on her face* What?
    Morticia: Pastels?
    Debbie: *outraged* GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!
  • Gomez's reaction when Grandmama says Baby Pubert might get dimples.
    "Not in this house!"
  • The whole exchange when Gradmama explains what might become of Baby Pubert.
    Grandmama: He could become...a lawyer.
    Grandmama: A dentist.
    Morticia: Mama, stop!
    Grandmama: PRESIDENT.
    *cue Morticia and Lurch facepalming and Gomez starting to cry*
  • Cousin Itt bowling over Margaret Alford.

    The Musical 

  • This exchange:
    Mal: If you ever think about unloading this place, I might be able to help you out.
    Gomez: Out of the question! These four acres have been in my family ever since Queen Isabella of Spain deeded it to my great ancestor, Alfonso the Enormous, for services rendered.
    Mal: What services?
    Gomez: ...Alfonso the enormous. Do I have to draw you a diagram?

    Addams Family Reunion 

(Yes, funny moments exist for this movie.)
  • Walter Adams (spelt with one "d"; a cock-up by the organizers has resulted in them being sent to the reunion of a completely unrelated family,) proves that he fully deserves to be a true Addams with his speech to his assembled clan: "For years, you people have been dragging me out to these family reunions, and I have only one thing to say, and I say it to all of you...(dramatic pause, audience prepares for something diabetically Glurgey) You make me sick, you're nothing but a bunch of lazy, worthless, freeloaders. I'm sick of listening to all of your sappy, kiss-up remarks. Why, I'd sooner shove a screaming walrus down my pants than spend another minute here with the entire lot of you." He carries on for a while, and finishes by saying that he'd like to see "[them] all, roasting, in the deepest. Pits. Of Hell." Gomez bursts into applause.
  • One scene has Wednesday and Pugsley both in guillotines trying to decapitate themselves to avoid going to the planned family reunion. Morticia catches them and says "You won't be getting out of this that easy!"
    • The guillotines are even marked with a "P" and "W" for each child.
  • The scene where Lurch is just calmly floating on a black inner tube in the swimming pool while several children swim away and get out of the pool screaming their heads off, and he doesn't seem to notice.

     1992 Animated Series 
  • The normally happy-go-lucky Gomez goes absolutely ballistic in the episode "Double O Honeymoon", when the villain Ian Thundermane and his cohorts keep flirting with Morticia, right in front of him at that. Morticia is VERY appreciative of Gomez's newfound beastial side.
  • Another funny moment from this version came in the episode Happyester Fester. Uncle Fester is established as a genius inventor, but apparently he doesn't know how to spell his own name.
    Uncle Fester: (is signing a contract) How many L's in Fester?
    Norman Normanmeyer: As many as you want!
    • From the same episode, Granny breaking out her volumes of The Art Of Channeling Mimes.
      Granny: I can feel the mimes speaking through me!
      (''A little later when Gomez is offering to help Fester promote his new clothing brand)
      Fester: Oh don't worry about me. I'm enjoying Granny's mime act.
  • During the Halloween Episode, the kids run into Cousin Itt and his girlfriend at the golf course. Itt explains he's there to show his girlfriend how he gets struck by lightning. One lightning bolt later, and Itt's girlfriend is all over him.
  • The numerous Noodle Implement factors to the Addams Family traditional dances: here is a full list in episodic order:
    • Fester, it's miles to the airport!
    • On a Friday?
    • No way Gomez, This isn't a Wedding!
    • Nah, we did that last year!
    • But Fester, You've never run for congress!
    • Nah, She's (the mayor) too tall.
    • No forget it Gomez, i just clipped my toenails.
    • But Fester, It's not Broccoli Season.
    • Come on Gomez, you can't do that without holding a corn dog.
    • Nah, we're out of salad dressing.
    • But you haven't bought a used car in years, Fester!
    • But Fester, you haven't built a Picnic table in years!
  • A second running gag in Gomez being utterly turned on whenever Morticia speaks in a foreign language and attempting to kiss her hand. He once couldn't decide between which hand to kiss, and he even did it with Fester once. Thankfully, Fester told him to knock it off.
    Gomez: Fester! That was french-
    Fester: Knock it off!! Go to your wife!

    The New Addams Family 

This incarnation has a lot of them, many of them provided by Uncle Fester.

  • In "Morticia's Favorite Charity", Uncle Fester locks himself in his iron maiden before it is sent to an auction in a ploy to get it back after the auction. When he is revealed to be inside the iron maiden, the auctioneers bid for him. After his family rescues him, Fester says "Thanks a lot! I was this close to becoming the love toy of a psychotic 80-year-old!"
  • One episode has Fester pretend to be a Humphrey Bogart-style noir detective while investigating who he assumes to be a male gold digger taking advantage of Morticia's cousin Melancholia. He even goes to the trouble of narrating events to himself!
  • "Close Encounters of the Addams Kind" is funny from start to finish. For starters, the aliens Greg and Marsha are Laughably Evil because Greg is a Large Ham and both of them have a very awkward-sounding Evil Laugh. Another hilarious part is the ending, where the aliens solve their fuel problem by creating clones of Uncle Fester.
  • "Addams Family in Court is yet another laugh fest. One is the Running Gag of Fester looking affectionately at Judge Debbie while a romantic theme plays, someone asking where he music is coming from and Fester apologizing while the music stops.
    • Wednesday informs her brother Pugsley that she can't torture him anymore. Pugsley at first is happy about this, but quickly states that he is bored by this development.
    • Lurch and Thing playing "Chopsticks".