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Funny / Tango and Cash

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  • Upon arriving at the prison, Cash soon explains to Tango that they'll be put into general population. Tango disagrees, saying how they never put cops there. One Gilligan Cut later, both men are in gen pop, complete with the sounds of loud booing from the other inmates and flaming garbage being thrown on them. Tango's response? "You know what I really hate? Litter."
  • Tango's cellmate, Slinky, who has a, well, you know:
    Slinky: (to Tango, who's reading the paper, barely paying attention to him) You see that? (motions to the newspaper clipping on the wall of a dead man) I killed him.
    Tango: Congratulations.
    Slinky: He was my best friend.
    Tango: Would you look at that? The price of sugar has gone up.
    • Later, after lights out, Tango is sleeping in his cell and Slinky is seen with the toy wrapped around his head.
  • Cash is so delightfully hammy/angry, from his outburst in court about how the whole thing "fucking sucks" to his insistence of not being killed by Requin ("limey British jerk-off") but rather by "an American jerk-off!"
  • Cash in drag. That is all.
  • Tango walking in on his sister giving Cash a back massage.
    • To his credit, he doesn't start a fight, but merely stands in the shadows Face Palming as the two start making innuendo over "it" slipping in ("it" being one of the discs in Cash's spine).
    • Then someone's shadow quietly appears the back door; Tango, expecting another hitman, vaults the couch and slams through the screen door, pinning... his captain underneath it.
      Captain Schroeder: This how you screen all your guests?
    • The scene is capped by one of those hilarious 80's action flick arguments.
      Cash: Freeze! Drop the duck! Tango?
      Tango: Great police work! Way to stay on top of it, Cash! What were you doing?
      Cash: Nice to see you too. You almost nailed your captain.
      Tango: At least I saw him! What were you doing in there?
      Cash: I was getting ready to make my move. Your girlfriend-
      Tango: My sister!
      Cash: Your what?
      Tango: My sister.
      Cash: That's great! I don't mean that. I know it looks bad.
      Tango: I have never deliberately punched out anyone in my life. But I'm going to hammer you into the god-damned lawn.
      Katherine: Don't you know how to use a doorbell? Just stick out your finger and push. Isn't this 125 Orange Grove Street? It's my place. I have some rights in my own place!
      Tango: It's my roof, my house, and I let you dwell here.
      Katherine: I pay rent!
      Tango: It's late.
      Katherine: Check your mail!
      Cash: In Tango's defense, he has been in prison.
      Katherine: (glare)
      Tango: (glare)
      Cash: ...Excuse me, my pantyhose are riding into the unknown.
      Tango: Way up in the unknown.

      Tango: (to Katherine) Tell me one thing, seriously. What were you doing on the couch with Queen-for-a-Day?
      Katherine: (smile) None of your business.

      Cash: Catherine... Honestly. What were you doing on the couch with the Elephant Man? Please.
      Katherine: (smile) Come in the house. Change clothes.
      Tango: (to Cash) You're going to make a very ugly bride someday.
      Cash: Are you proposing?
  • Dialog while fighting in the RV from Hell:
    Cash: I got good news and I got bad news. Which one do you you want first?!
    Tango: The bad.
    Cash: We're almost out of gas!
    Tango: The good.
    Cash: We're *almost* out of gas!

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