Funny / Superman Returns

  • "Fly up. Fly up."
  • "Like Sea-Monkeys?" ... "Yes, exactly like Sea-Monkeys."
  • In the opening scene after the opening titles; When Lex swindles the dying old lady and steps out of the room. He then hands his wig to a little girl.
    Lex: You can keep that. The rest is mine.
    Little Girl: [shrieks!]
  • "A man can always tell when a woman is faking... especially Superman."
  • Kitty spotting one dog and remains upon returning to the mansion: "Weren't there two dogs?"
  • "I've done Superman!" *snerk* "Covered him... you know what I mean."
  • Lex's troll-job of Lois. You all know the scene.
    Lex: Come on, let me hear you say it, just once.
    Lois: You're insane!
    Lex: NO! Not that, no, the other thing, come on, I know it's just dangling at the tip of your tongue. Just once for me, please.
    Lois: Superman will never—
    Lex: WRONG!
  • The looks of both the thug and Superman's faces when the former tries to shoot him.
  • This exchange.
    Luthor: Kitty, what did my father always used to say?
    Kitty: "You're losing your hair"?
    Luthor: Before that.
    Kitty: "Get out"?
    Luthor: NO!
  • When Lane is unknowingly snooping around Lex's yacht, and he just walks in in a bathrobe brushing his teeth. So unusual to see the criminal mastermind caught off guard like that. Even he can't believe who he's seeing, as he says "Lois Lane?" in disbelief, toothbrush still in mouth.
    Jason: "...You're bald."
  • This gem where Lex is experimenting with his train set.
    Kitty: Wow, that's really something Lex.
    Lex Luthor: Wait for it.
    (nothing happens)
    Kitty: Wow, that's really something, Lex. It's like freakin' Gone with the Wind.
    Lex Luthor: Riley, shut off the camera.
    Riley: But I'm getting it.
    Lex Luthor: I said, shut off the damn camera.
    Riley: [turns off the camera and the lights go out] Uh, I think I did something wrong.
    Lex Luthor: No... that wasn't you.
    • Also in that scene, before the lights go out Lex is right there next to his henchmen, lights go out and when they come back up Lex has moved all the way to the other side of the room.
  • When Lex and Kitty are stranded on a desert island when their chopper runs out of fuel and Lex angrily throws a coconut into the ocean.
    Kitty: Lex, we only had six of those!
    Lex: Six? [laughs, then screams at the top of his lungs] I would trade three hundred THOUSAND coconuts and every ounce of your blood for a QUART OF GASOLINE!
    Kitty: But what'll we have to eat?
    [Lex looks hungrily at Kitty's dog]
  • Clark is playing fetch with his adoptive mother's dog. He tosses the ball a bit too hard and it sails into such a far distance that the dog doesn't even attempt to run and retrieve it.
  • Lois and Richard wonder if Clark is Superman. Clark, apparently not hearing them, just happens to look up with a goofy expression on his face, his mouth half-full of dinner. Lois and Richard laugh at their ridiculous idea.