Funny / Star Trek: Insurrection
"Smooth as an android's bottom, eh, Data?"
- One of the best opening lines.
Riker: Our guests have arrived. They are eating the floral arrangements on the banquet tables.
Crusher: I guess they don't believe in cocktails before dinner.
Troi: Oh, my God. Are they vegetarian? That's not in there!
Picard: Perhaps we should have the chef whip up a light balsamic vinaigrette— Something that goes well with chrysanthemums.
- "I seem to be missing several memory engrams." (Geordi presents Data with a handful of said components) "...There they are."
- Picard needs to get real, or get a new neck.
Beverly Crusher: You either need a new uniform or a new neck.
Picard: Euchene Chefaw. My collar size is exactly as it was at the Academy.
Beverly Crusher: Of course it is.
- In the event of a water landing, Data has been designed to serve as a flotation device.
- How do Picard and Worf distract a crazy android? By singing, complete with Follow the Bouncing Ball.
Worf: No sir. I have not had a chance to meet all the new crew members since I have been back.
- What sells the scene is Worf's panicked expression and shaking his head "NO!" before finally joining in.
- When Data is reactivated and Picard asks him what he remembers, he immediately picks the song up where he left off.
- The funniest thing about is that Geordi doesn't even bat an eyelash at this.
- There's a really good bit when the bad guys decide to give up:
Lieutenant: Sir, Ru'afo's ship is hailing us.
Picard and Riker: On screen. (they exchange looks)
Worf: Captain, the Son'a crew would like to negotiate a cease-fire. It may have something to do with the fact that we have three minutes of air left.
Picard: We have plenty over here, Mr. Worf. Prepare to beam aboard.
- "Have you noticed that your boobs have started to firm up?" - Data to Worf (Data had overheard Beverly and Deanna discussing the effects of the planet on them)
- "Definitely feeling aggressive tendencies, sir!"
- The moments between Data and Artim that aren't heartwarming - heck, even the funny moments are heartwarming!
Data: I have to go home now.
- After Deanna shaves off his beard, Riker meets up with Data and Picard on the way to the turbolift. At Data's startled look Riker remarks, to his clear consternation:
Riker: Smooth as an android's butt, eh, Data?
- But what really sells it is a few minutes later, after they've finished catching up on current events, when Data asks to touch Riker's newly-shaved face - and then just shakes his head smugly, and walks off.
- When the Son'a who are chasing the Enterprise hail them, Riker tries to bluff by saying that the transceiver is malfunctioning - and the Son'a call his bluff by firing a photon torpedo.
Riker: Isn't that the universal greeting when communications are down?
Geordi: I think it's the universal greeting when you don't like someone.
- Riker getting all horny for Troi, and her willing to accomodate him. . . to a point.
Troi: I never kissed you with a beard before.
Riker: I kiss you and you say "yuck?"
Troi: (closes her cabin door in his face)