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• To be honest, too many to list. Pretty much safe to say that Kirk striding around hoping that he's got the distant past nailed is one long howl of laughter.
• When played in Moscow, McCoy's line "The bureaucratic mentality is the only constant in the universe." got the whole audience laughing right up to the end credits.
• Any time Spock tries to swear.
  • "They like you very much, but they are not the hell your whales."
  • "One damn minute, Admiral."
  • Kirk too:
    Angry Driver: "Get out of the way you dumbass!"
    Kirk: "...well double Dumbass on you!!"
• Much of Kirk's interaction with Dr. Taylor.
  Dr. Gillian Taylor: Do you guys like Italian?
  Kirk: Yes.
  Spock: No.
  Kirk: Yes.
  Spock: No.
  Kirk: I love Italian, and so do you.
  Spock (beat): Yes.
• Scotty and the (classic) Macintosh. "Hello, computer!" And Sulu and the helicopter. And poor Chekov having to cope with the commie-haters.
• The entire film is one of these: they go back in time to steal whales!
  • And it's McCoy who puts it explicitly out there:
  McCoy: This is insane! You are proposing that we go backwards in time, pick up two humpback whales, bring them forwards in time, drop 'em off and ope they tell this probe what to go do with itself!
  Kirk: That's the plan.
  McCoy: Well that's crazy!
  Kirk: If you got a better idea, now's the time.
• "Ve are lookink for nuclear wessels. Can you direct us to the naval base in Alameida?"
  • "Ooh, I don't know if I know the answer to that. I think it's across the Bay. In Alameida."
  • With that motorcycle cop just glaring at Chekov the whole time he's asking everybody where the nuclear wessels are.
• Chekov's interrogation is a classic!
  FBI Agent: Let's start from the top.
  Chekov: The top of what?
  FBI Agent: Name.
  Chekov: My name?
  FBI Agent No, my name.
  Chekov: I do not know your name!
  FBI Agent: You play games with me, mister, and you're through!
  Chekov: I am? [beat] May I go now?
• Kirk's reaction when he sees Spock in the aquarium tank mind-melding with the whales is priceless.
• Spock meets punk. Punk refuses to turn down ghettoblaster. Spock nerve-pinches punk. Everyone - the bus passengers, the audience in the theater, aliens watching this broadcast on satellite TV from 500 light years away - cheers.
  • And then Spock continues his conversation with Kirk as if he's still trying to speak over the punk's music, with Kirk's expression just screaming 'On top of everything else, I just don't have the energy to tell you you don't need to shout anymore.'
• The entire scene where they spring Chekov from the hospital is funny. From McCoy's disdain for 20th-century medicine, to the elderly woman who grows a new kidney, to Chekov's cheeky promotion of himself to admiral, to the way they get into Chekov's room in the first place...
  • "The doctor gave me a pill and I grew a new kidney!" The giddiness of the old woman and the utter bafflement of the doctors makes the scene.
• McCoy's in top Deadpan Snarker form here as well:
  Scotty: ... Are ye plannin' to take a swim?
  McCoy: Off the deep end, Mr. Scott.
• "This woman has immediate, post-prandial, upper abdominal distention!!" "What did you say she had?" " Cramps."
  • And then, as they're leaving:
    Guard: How's your patient?
    Kirk: I think he's going to pull through.
    Guard: He? You went in with a she!
    Kirk: One little mistake...
• "He did a little too much LDS."
• "No, I'm from Iowa. I work in outer space."
• The two garbage men, after witnessing the Bounty's landing in the park.
  Garbage man A: Did you see that?
  Garbage man B: No, and neither did you, so shut up.
• "YOU POMPOUS ASS!"
• Captain Kirk has read Jacqueline Susann. And Harold Robbins.
• Fridge Funny: When the Probe shuts down Spacedock, you can see the Excelsior in the hangar. That's right Starfleet, your shiny new ubership just conked out on you.... again.