Funny / Spider-Man
aka: Spider-Man

  • In Amazing Spider-Man #1, in order to protect his secret identity, Spider-Man tells somebody to make a check out to his superhero name. When told he'll have a hard time cashing it, his exact words are "We'll just see about that." Cut to him waiting in line at the bank, in full costume, getting rejected by the teller for not having any ID in the name of Spider-Man.
  • Amazing Spider-Man #19 has Jameson's priceless reaction to hearing Spidey's back in action.
  • Amazing Spider-Man #23 has this exchange during a fight with the Green Goblin.
    Green Goblin: Blast you! You talk so much, you get me all confused!
    Spider-Man: How about that! I've got a new weapon I didn't even know about! My spider speech!
  • In ''Spectacular Spider-Man #256" Peter (currently in the middle of his "Identity Crisis" arc after being framed for murder) gets some relief in the form of his all-time most pathetic villain- White Rabbitnote . Add in Grizzly and Gibbon, two of the most pathetic wannabe superheroes as well and the issue is sheer cover-to-cover hilarity. The comedic highlight is probably when Peter, unable to reach any of his costumes note  is forced to rescue the blundering twosome from White Rabbit while wearing a paper bag on his head:
    White Rabbit: Who are you- the Unknown Comic?
    Peter: No- I'm the... um... the Bombastic Bag Man!
  • Swings up behind a Mook with a jetpack and suddenly snatches the jetpack off him:
    Cue Oh, Crap! moment from Mook CRASH
    Spidey: Some people just won't listen[1]
  • During a fight with the Scorpion, assisted by Black Cat, while powerless:
    Spidey: (Sneaks up behind Scorpion and grabs his tail) (Thinking) I've got his tail! I've got his tail!
    Spidey: (Remembers he's powerless) (Thinking) Why have I got his tail?
  • Though this takes place in one of She-Hulk's comics, Spidey's response to why Jameson hates him so much.
    • Now doubles as Hilarious in Hindsight, considering what happened over in the Ultimate 'verse.
    • Also, JJJ's use of the classic defense, "I have black friends", is actually true, considering his best friend Joe Robertson IS indeed black. This makes it even funnier (along with his lawyer's Face Palm).
  • Lady Stilt-Man. Even Spidey can't stop laughing... And the way she is defeated is even more hilarious. Even before Deadpool shows up, this is one of the most hilarious issues of Spider-Man in years.
  • In Avenging Spider-Man, Spidey and the Avengers are a bit of a ways away from NYC taking care of a giant robot attack, and Peter then finds out that none of his teammates are planning on going back to New York at the moment, leaving him in need of a ride. Then a game of "not it" happens to see who gets saddled with taking him home—and that who turns out to be none other than Red Hulk.
    Spidey: Someday I'll learn how to fly the jet.
    Wolverine: We've heard that one before.
  • 2003's "The Rules of the Game" arc is packed with them. A robot falling in love with Reed Richards, Rocket Racer smacking into a window in an attempt to make a cool entrance, Peter putting on a disguise and getting beaten up at a Bad-Guy Bar... but the best had to be Scorpion being tricked into into breaking his own leg. "If that was... then whose leg is... Oh."
  • One issue of Spider-Man was called "Slyde Into Destiny". It features Spidey's unknown archfoe, an incredibly minor and deluded villain calling himself "Slyde".
    Slyde: That's right, citizens of New Slyde City! You have all been Slyde'd! Slode? Slydomized?
  • During Mike Wieringo's Spider-Man run, just after he super-evolved and just before the Civil War. Aunt May completely owns, humiliates and scares the living bejeebers out of Tony Stark, Reed Richards and Hank Pym. These three have faced down cosmic horrors from beyond time and space and one little old lady turns them into quivering messes.
  • Aunt May has frightened J. Jonah Jameson so badly that JJJ has forbidden Peter from ever letting her phone him again. This is a (perfectly normal) man whose reaction to costumed killers tearing his office apart to murder him is one of irritation at how much this is going to cost, and one little old lady had him holding the phone two feet from his ear and cringing. Do not mess with Aunt May.
  • During Civil War when Peter unmasks himself on live television, leading to Jameson falling out his chair in shock, was hilarious.
  • Batman / Spider-Man, after Batman corrects Spidey's reference to The Road To Morocco:
    Spider-Man: A-ha! I knew we had something in common besides our love of tights! You're into old movies too, huh?
    Batman: I was - when I was young.
    Spider-Man: Young? Somehow, I can't picture you ever being young! You must've been pretty cute, waddling around in your diapers, chasing the Joker across the playground!
    Batman: I was never "cute".
  • In one occasion the FF had to Spot the Imposter between Spider-Man and the Chameleon. Ben solved it by throwing both of them down of the building, with poor Chameleon being recognized when he started screaming while Spidey just spun a web and flung himself away.
  • Amazing Spider-Man's 231-232 two-parter "Hyde and Seek" is full of humorous moments, such as Spidey suspecting that danger's "right around the corner", only to find that Hyde has thrown an entire corner of a building at him. Or Spider-Man showing off the defeated Cobra to someone saying "Daddy, Daddy! Can I keep him?"
  • Amazing Spider-Man #699, as Peter Parker, trapped in Dr. Octopus' body, attempts to figure out how Ock was able to swap bodies with him, starts to look through Ock's memories... and finds out he and Aunt May did the nasty!
    Peter: [Mentally] NO! NOOOOO! [Vocally, as Doc Ock] ...Ahhhhhh!
  • "Instincts bad."
  • Amazing Spider-man #600, as J. Jonah Jameson was officiating his father's marriage to May Parker and had just asked if anyone had any objections.
    Anyone? This's your window. Right here. Take your time, I can wait.
    *sigh* Very well.
  • Whenever Peter’s Spider-Sense goes into overdrive, it becomes ridiculously thorough…
    Truck: Huge machine of metal and death!
    Stapler: Pending impalement!
    Elevator: Might stall!
    Random Slob: Ate burritos for lunch!
    Peter: "Shut up spider sense! I can cling to walls; I’m not going to fall down the stairs!"
  • All of "The Commuter Cometh" from Amazing #267. Poor Pete just goes through one sort of hilarious mishap after another, from being chased by a guard dog to getting kicked off riding off the top of a bus for not having any fare on him.
  • While not a comic, the novel New Avengers: Breakout by Alisa Kwitney has a fantastic moment where Spider-Man gains entry to the Raft while the other members of the team are hunting down Electro. Going off a hunch, Spider-Man walks down a hallway in the Raft filled with imprisoned villains (including Doc Ock and Carnage) and bribes information out of them by offering them doughnuts. Doc Ock even begins tearing up when he hears they're from a coffee shop whose cinnamon rolls he adores.
  • One incident had Peter returning to his apartment with fast food after a pretty rough fight (he was missing his gloves and web-shooters and had a mask lens broken. He mutters "Aw, crap" when he realizes Mary Jane is asleep. As he tries to sneak in, she speaks up, telling him that his excuse had better be Thanos again or don't bother telling her. Even worse when she says that if it's the Vulture, she's gonna punch him in the face.
  • After the conclusion of Superior, Peter has to take over Parker Industries, so he tries to be a nice, fun boss. By showing up in a hawaiian shirt and encouraging everyone to have fun with work. His coworkers were used to Octavius!Peter, and are..rather shocked at his sudden personality change.
    Is he bipolar?
  • In the first issue since he came back, SHIELD wonders if its really the actual Spidey or still Ock. And then on his first day on the job, he ends fighting naked due to one of the villians powers to control fabric, having that posted all over Twitter. The reactions of everyone are amusing, knowing this is the Spidey they all know and love.
  • In the crossover between Amazing, Inhuman and All-New Captain America, Spidey tries to think of something inspirational to the Nuhumans. He thinks of Cap (whose "speech" is over the top freedom spiel), Mr. Fantastic (who's just smug that he's inventions can do anything and he's smarter than Spidey) and Cyclops (who is just shouting "JEAAAAAAAAAN!")
  • Post-Secret Wars (2015), Peter is back in form. Driving through the streets in his new Spider-Mobile, with Mockingbird at his side, he tries to come up with a theme song. Mockingbird tells him to knock it off, but he turns on the Auto-Tune instead. Her response is golden:
    Mockingbird: (in autotune) I have S.H.I.E.L.D. training and know 14 different ways to kill you right now.
    Spider-Man: Spider Mobile, auto-tune off.
    • After the day is saved, Mockingbird asks Peter about his Thou Shall Not Kill policy. He informs her that he knows now that he can't save everyone, but that he will save everyone he can. Everyone. She delights in mocking the seriousness (and clearly rehearsed nature) of his speech as she accompanies him back to Parker Industries.
    • Hobie Brown is filling in for Peter, who is in a very public setting and cannot change into his webs, making horrible (and true to Spidey) puns about the zodiac theme of their assailants. One of Peter's business partners notes that Spidey's quips are terrible.
    • Spider-Man daydreaming about saving JJJ and him kissing Spidey feet while thanking him in issue 246 of Amazing.
  • Issue #2 hilariously averts the No Peripheral Vision trope when Spider-Man and Prowler sneak into the base of the Zodiac, and Aquarius spots them while they're crawling on the ceiling: "That's Spider-Man and some guy up there. You see that, right?"
  • In issue # 3 Post Secret-Wars, the Human Torch, angry that Peter bought the Baxter Building, charges in. Spidey catches him in a plexiglass cage. Not just any plexiglass cage. This plexiglass cage.
    • Torch comes in screaming for Parker. Spidey tells him to ixnay on the secret identity.
  • In Amazing 534:
    Editor's Note: What's Ben Grimm doing in this scene? For his part of this very same story told from his point of view, see Fantastic Four 539 ... because it's not what you think.
    Because yes, we do know what you're thinking.
    And really, you should be ashamed of yourself.
  • In Civil War II: Amazing Spider-Man #1, Pete tries to catch some shuteye at the Baxter Building after a long flight. He finds out that Johnny Storm is sleeping in his bed in the worst possible way. Oh, and Johnny is naked.
    • According to Ulysses, he also prefers to sleep in the buff when in New Atilan. Whenever he has a vision, Johnny will usually storm in naked.

The Newspaper Strip

  • A lot of Peter's What an Idiot moments qualify as this. One crowning example was when he, Ant Man (Scott Lang), and a retired Hank Pym were shrunken down to gnat size, Ant Man's unshrink power was disabled, and all of their respective physical strength levels dropped with their height unlike regular Pym Particles. They are soon found by a giant (to them) spider. Spider-Man quickly dives at the creature, telling Lang and Pym that he'll be okay since he still has the proportionate strength of a spider. Hank Pym immediately points out that so does the spider... since it's a spider. Ans since it's larger, it has a lot more proportionate spider strength. Peter is very quickly restrained by the arachnid.
  • In the grand conclusion of a relatively serious story ark which spanned several months, Spider-Man is preparing to capture the criminal when suddenly the hostage attempts to help by tossing a large rock at him, missing and knocking out Spider-Man instead. As the criminal attempts to take this oppertunity to escape, he trips over his own camera equipment and falls off a nearby cliff, bringing a somewhat serious story arc to a close with two instances of hilariously extreme incompetence.
  • The (in)famous "FAPPO!" fan edits. Even funnier, unlike the edit where Spider-Man actively tries to attack the truck, in the original comic, Spider-Man just messes up his swing and slams head first into it.
  • The entirety of the Iron Jonah story arc in which J. Jonah Jameson hijacks an old Iron Man armor, draws his mustache over the faceplate so people will know it's him and uses it to go after Spider-Man.
  • The entire team-up with Rocket Raccoon in which Peter and Mary Jane have to convince people that the anthropomorphic raccoon is just their son in a costume, and ends with Rocket and Peter shoving Ronan the Accuser's unconscious body into Rocket's tiny space craft. The fact that Rocket's comments on Kree "entering hibernation" when they are deprived of breathable air the the subject of a LOT of Alternate Character Interpretation adds a whole new level of dark humor to said scene.

The 2000 Video Game

  • The ending to the PS1 game, with all the game's villains playing Go Fish in prison.
  • A lot of Spider-Man's one-liners in the game are hilarious to listen to.
  • The cutscene before the level where Spider-Man has to chase Venom has Venom sneaking up in Spider-Man (Venom doesn't trigger the Spider-Sense)
    Venom: Parker hates it when we get the drop on him...
    Jump Cut to Spider-Man
    Spider-Man: I hate it when he gets the drop on me!
  • When What If? Mode is enabled during the "Chase Venom" level, the apartment building Spidey and Venom break into has been changed to a gym. The chase moves through the ladies locker room.
    Woman: Hey, nice biceps. *giggles*
    Venom, sounding devious: Thank you.