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Funny: Spartacus: Blood and Sand

In general

  • Every time someone swears, especially that time Batiatus screamed, "At long last, cock has been removed from ass!"
  • Every time someone sings "My Cock Rages On".
  • The sheer number of ways the male characters can use references to their dicks as a metaphor for ANYTHING.

Blood and Sand

  • Episode 2 "Sacramentum Gladitorum": Barca kills one of the recruits in an offhanded fashion.
    Batiatus: Not every venture ends in climax.
    Lucretia: A fact well known to many women.
  • Episode 3 "Legends": Spartacus taunts Gnaeus until he angrily charges. Spartacus sidesteps and Gnaeus runs head-first into a post and knocks himself out.
  • Episode 4 "The Thing in the Pit": Spartacus starts talking to Varro and his hallucination of Sura at the same time, making the conversation very confusing for Varro.
  • Episode 6 "Delicate Things": Spartacus visualizing his escape from the Ludus, tearing through guards with so much ease it's hilarious.
    Varro: That's your plan?
  • Episode 8 "Mark of the Brotherhood": When the new recruits are ordered to undress, everyone's reaction to Segovax amounts to, "Holy shit, that guy's dick is huge." Varro says he's betting on "the one with the horse-cock".
  • Episode 13 "Kill Them All": A meta-example, but, once again, Peter Mensah declares something to be madness.

Gods of the Arena

  • Episode 1 "Past Transgressions": Gannicus gets drunk and almost walks off the cliff.

Vengeance

  • Episode 1 "Fugitivus": Mira describes Agron as "An angry boy who barely pisses without splashing everyone about him."
    • In the supposedly abandoned ludus, Ilithyia makes a shocking discovery and screams in terror!
    Marcus: (rushing into the hall) What has happened?
    Glaber: (calmly heading in the direction of the scream) In matters concerning my wife the gods themselves fear to speculate.
  • Agron becomes rather snarky in this season, such as when Spartacus says he'll train his new recruits in the same manner he was trained.
    Agron: And look how well that turned out.
  • Episode 7 "Sacramentum": Ashur's failure at intimidation:
    Ashur: I would advise caution. These men are the hands of Praetor Gaius Claudius Glaber.
    Gannicus: And what are you? His cock or his ass?
  • Episode 8 "Balance": Mira walking in on Agron and Nasir trying to have sex while on guard duty. Not that she seems to mind.
    • The best part of that scene is that after being caught, Agron and Nasir spend about 5 minutes going "Um..we were..uh" and generally looking like schoolchildren caught making out under the bleachers.
  • Episode 9 "Monsters": Oenemaus knocks Agron to the ground. Nasir laughs at him.
  • Episode 10 "Wrath of the Gods": Glaber getting the mercenaries to turn on Ashur simply by offering them more money. Ashur pretty much goes, "Son of a-"
    • When the Romans try to interrogate one of the captured Germans, the man yells insults in German like, "Suck my dick!"

War of the Damned

  • Episode 1 "Enemies of Rome": Gannicus kicks a man out of his own tent so he and Saxa can have a four-way with two hot chicks. Later, when Spartacus orders him to give his battle report, Gannicus answers, "We fought, we won."
  • Episode 2 "Wolves At The Gate": Julius Caesar orders a slave girl to cut him in the thigh. He seems to get off on it. Tiberius walks in on them and is disturbed by this.
  • Episode 3 "Men of Honor": A drunk rebel runs around naked and boasts, "My cock is magic!" Disgusted, Crixus replies, "See it vanish from sight."
    • Immediately after the guy leaves, Crixus laughs to the increased disgust of Naevia.
    • They seemed more annoyed than disgusted.
  • Episode 6 "Spoils of War": Combining heartfelt drama with humour.
    Gannicus: I will cause distraction and gain needed time.
    Spartacus: By what means?
    Gannicus: I have no fucking idea.
    • Also from Episode 6, this time by Caesar. "Oh, and Tiberius? Oysters."
  • In Episode 8 "Separate Paths", Spartacus and Agron heed Kore's call for help and rush to her tent to find a woman in labor undressed and moaning on the floor. Spartacus instantly stares at the ceiling, and both men proceed to look profoundly uncomfortable until Kore calls for Agron's knife to cut the cord.
  • Episode 9 "The Dead and Dying": Kore leading Tiberius on, claiming that she might rescue him just to see him get his hopes up, and dashing them when she tells him she'll enjoy seeing him die.
    • The episode opens with the standard slaughter of Roman troops, beginning with one man taking an arrow to the face. During the melee, repeated shots show Saxa, in the background, running up to attack — except by the time she arrives the slaughter is done.
    Saxa: Time next, you carry bow. Too far from fucking blood.

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