Funny: Space Ghost Coast to Coast
Are you getting enough oxygen, citizen? No, I'm too busy laughing to catch my breath.
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- Space Ghost's entire interview with Kevin Meaney in "Spanish Translation":
Kevin Meaney: What is wrong with you?Space Ghost: Does my music frighten you?Kevin Meaney: Yes!
- Seven words: Zorak And Moltar Sing Your Favorite Lullabies.
- From "Bobcat", after Moltar switches feeds, resulting in Space Ghost's monitor displaying an infinite video feedback loop of himself looking into the monitor:
Space Ghost: Hey! It's me watching me watching me watching me watching me watching me!Moltar: Simpleton.
Moltar: Mmmmm, barbequed shrimp.
- From "Batmantis":
Zorak: Holy stolen lava, Space Ghost! Moltar's been kidnapped!
Space Ghost: Right you are, my little green friend. An evil ploy by Your Mother!
Zorak: Your mother...
Space Ghost: No, not my mom, someone else's mom. Someone's sick and deranged mom!
- The Christmas episode. Especially the 12 Days of Christmas.
Space Ghost: That was pitiful!
- In "Hungry", Zorak brings his nephew to work. And then eats him.
Space Ghost: Zorak, where's your nephew?Zorak: Who? Oh, um, I devoured him.Space Ghost: That's barbaric! (Beat) Is there any left?Zorak: Lemme check. (looks off to the side) Nope.Space Ghost: I'm gonna miss that little guy.
- This beautiful exchange:
Zorak: "I am the Lone Locust of the Apocalypse! Think of me when you look-"Space Ghost: "Oh, now you're a locust again! Well silly me, I thought you were a mantis!"Zorak: "Uh, I am!"Space Ghost: "'I am the Lone Mantis of the Apocalypse!' Wait, better yet: "I am the Lone Fill-in-the-blank of the Apocalypse." How's about that, Zorak, leave enough room for you there, hmm?"
- Space Ghost making fun of how into Zorak keeps switching between calling himself a mantis & a locust.
- "Jerk" where Space Ghost wants to do an 'Emmy-worthy' award show... and "Ten seconds and it's already in the toilet" and it gets worse from there somehow.
- After trying to start the live broadcast over in an attempt to salvage it, Space Ghost attempts to work around that by asking everyone to close their eyes. And yes, this includes the people watching.
- "Switcheroo": Susan Olsen doing her "Cindy Brady" lisp, and Zorak and Moltar's reaction:
Susan Olsen: Theven thilver thwanth thwam thilently theaward.
Zorak: Thacre bleu! I'm gonna be thick.
Zorak: Wait a second, you're not Al Roker! (blasts Mark)
- Lokar Comically Missing the Point and taking the "party planning" too seriously.
- Zorak's encounter with Mark McEwen.
Lokar: Oh, no, don't harm me! I am a tired old set of d-r-rapes.
- The ending, when Space Ghost returns from the mail-room with "the envelope of goodness" ("It gives me the power to get twelve CDs for a penny!"), and seeing right through the Council of Doom hiding behind a set of drapes... drapes that weren't there before.
Space Ghost: But you don't match my desk. (blasts the "drapes")
Council of Doom: Argh!
Brak: My bottom's on fire! (beat) Roll the credits!
- "Jacksonville": Brak (and later, Lokar) telling Space Ghost they're pregnant, followed by a shocked reaction on Space Ghost.
Tansut: You think you're so hot. I can twist you and punch you and hurt you so badly, I can...
- Tansut cussing out Space Ghost:
Space Ghost: (invisos in) I heard that!
Tansut: I didn't say anything!
Narrator: After the Jacksonville incident, Moltar was returned to his post as director of the show, given a spanking, and told never to escape again. Tansit was also swatted lightly across the fanny for his role in the Metallica debacle. Space Ghost resumed his duties as host of the popular animated talk show, and was later to be spotted that very evening with gal pal Tori Spelling. Upon Space Ghost's arrival, Passenger 12 choked on a 'Cracklin Tatah'. Witnesses quoted him as saying, "Man, there's a 'Cracklin Tatah' choked in ma throat." Zorak eventually led Metallica to the outer air lock, where members of the band were heard to say, "Shouldn't we put on a suit or something?" Metallica exploded in deep space. Mwa mwa mwa, mwaaaaa mwaaaa mwaaaaa... The story you have just heard is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Speaking of names, I have a kitty named Fluffy. Sometimes Fluffy scratches the sofa, and I say, "Down, Fluffy, down, or Fluffy get no din-din." Sometimes Fluffy urp in the corner. Fluffy knows better than that. Cats are fun. I like them.
- The "results of that trial" parody:
- "Cookout": SG and the Council of Doom host a cooking competition. Zorak constantly reminds everyone that he wants the bones when hes done, one cook 'relaxes the chicken', another cook is blasted to smithereens because she won't cook for SG.
Moltar: Beefaroni.Zorak: Beefaghetti.Moltar: Beefaroni.Zorak: Beefaghetti.Moltar: BEEFARONI.Zorak: BEEFAGHETTI.Moltar: BEEFARONI!Zorak: BEEFAGHETTI!Moltar: BEEFARONI!!!Zorak: BEEFAGHETTI!!!Space Ghost: Fellas! Fellas! They're both so tasty!Moltar & Zorak: Shut up!Beat of awkward silenceSpace Ghost: WELL.
- The same episode features a recurring joke of an ongoing argument between Moltar & Zorak:
- "You... killed the chicken."
- "Gallagher": This exchange, where Space Ghost plays a trivia game with his guests (with both the losers and the winners getting blasted)
- "Edelweiss": Mortar playing Space Ghost to the desk:
Mortar: (singing flatly) This is the note called middle C, this is how it sounds to me.
Space Ghost: Taco?
- Beck's hungry:
Beck: Oh, if you, if you have one, that would be nice.
Space Ghost: Moltar, release the taco! (a taco is flung into Beck's hands)
- "Zoltran" where Space Ghost attempts to interview Merril Markoe only to have her rip him a new one on EVERY SINGLE SILLY THING ABOUT THE SHOW!
Merill: So where are you?SG: I'm right here.Zorak: No stupid she means 'in space'!Merill: Are like 500 miles away from Jupiter or on the moon or something?SG: Oh...I'm over here, Merrill.Merill: You don't know what you're talking about do you? (she says that numerous times)Zorak: * bursts into laughter*
- "Boo Boo Kitty": "Living with you is like living in a living nightmare!"
- Space Ghost's Big "NO!" at the end.
- Pavement, the episode written by Space Ghost himself.
- "Sphinx": You see, dames are like mustard. They taste great on a sandwich. But when you're not eating a sandwich, they just sit there in the refrigerator.
Mike: (as Beavis) Moltar isn't home right now, fire fire, leave a message.
- ...on a shelf.
- ...in a jar.
- Mike Judge blasting Zorak, over & over.
- Speaking of Mike Judge, being harassed to do repeated Beavis and Butt-Head phone messages for Zorak and Moltar in the cold open.
Mike: [In Hank Hills voice] That Space Ghost has a cute little patootie, I tell you what.
- This bit.
Mike: Here's Mr. Anderson: "Boy I tell you h'what!" Here's Hank Hill: "Boy I tell you h'what!" ... it's a big difference.
- The post-credits stinger:
Space Ghost: Guess who write tonight's show?Beat of silenceSpace Ghost: Come on! Guess!Zorak: (Exasperated sigh) Who write it?Space Ghost: (Cutting off Zorak) ME! I write it!
- "Untitled": "LET THE POWER OF PONCH COMPEL YOU."
George Clinton: You wear a 'hood? I, I live in a 'hood. You have a 'hood, yeah, but how would I wear a 'hood?
- Space Ghost's odd dialogue with George Clinton:
Space Ghost: It's not hard. I take an entire neighborhood, put it on my head and dance around where the neighborhood used to be. The people who live in the neighborhood are terrified by my hopping, and some of them fall off my head and are trampled. It is then that the dance becomes a dance of sadness.
George Clinton: Why are you tellin' me this?
Space Ghost: Because I care about the innocent victims of my ill-advised dance of joy.
George Clinton: Oh...
Space Ghost: Fries don't come with that deadly shake.
- From "Piledriver", we are introduced to Space Ghost's grandfather, Leonard Ghostal (voiced by special guest "Macho Man" Randy Savage):
Zorak: Sounds like Randy Savage.
Space Ghost: Well, it's not, Zorak, it's my granddad, okay? So you can just shut up about that, Zorak!
Saucer Crab: Gozar of the Tiny Hut People! Now is the time of your weekly beating!
- Zorak hitting Leonard with a chair, complete with over-the-top wrestling commentary from Moltar and a cheering crowd.
- "Meanwhile, on the Planet of the Tiny Hut People..."
Gozar: Is that you, Saucer Crab? (gets blasted by death rays)
Saucer Crab: Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! See you next Thursday!"
- Saucer Crab showing up at the end of the episode to beat up Space Ghost, and Leonard Ghostal picking a fight with him. Then it turns out to have been an excuse to get away from Space Ghost's show.
- "Suckup" dealt with Space Ghost trying to butter up as many big shot hosts as possible. It goes well with one, former host of Talk Soup Jon Henson, but he had a skunk spot and they try complimenting him on that.
Zorak: It looks like a third eye!
Space Ghost: ZORAK!
Moltar: Hey, hey! Ix-nay on the third eyece.
Zorak: I mean, I like it...it's neat.
Space Ghost: That's the nicest third eye I've ever seen!
Henson: You like that, huh? Big with the chicks.
- Even worse SG was doing well...until he asked if his tongue ever got sore. It just fell apart right there faster than a stack of cards in a hurricane.
- "Dam" has some of the greatest timing in the show's run and is filled with many moments that are hard to put into words. Simpler moments to describe include the ending where Space Ghost is convinced by the voice on his self-help tape to blow up the Hoover Dam and his subsequent off-camera arrest.
Space Ghost: Ladies and gentlemen, you've seen him, you know him, you love him, you go through a period where you don't love him so much, yet you don't want to hurt him, so you don't dare tell him of your feelings, so you marry him, you bear his children, and you live out the rest of your days suffering from his cold and silent indifference, say hello to Steve Allen!
- Space Ghost's intro to Steve Allen:
Andy Dick: ...A five, six, seven, eight. (tap dances) How much you want? I can go on all day.
- "Down in the holler, amongst the filth and squalor, looks like a feud there's gonna be-" "THAT NUMBER'S BEEN CUT!"
- After the final musical number, Space Ghost orders Andy Dick to dance.
Space Ghost: Do it all day.
Andy Dick: Yeah, I can do anything, I can shuffle off to Buffalo...
Zorak: Why don't you shuffle off to Mars?
Andy Dick: I can't, I can't shuffle off too far, though.
- In the episode "Telethon", Space Ghost broadcasts a telethon with uninteresting special guests (And the Council of Doom operating the phone lines) to try to raise money to fund the production of the show. After a long period of broadcasting with no significant funds raised, Space Ghost decides to take matters into his own hands:
Space Ghost: Council of Doom?The Council of Doom looks over at Space GhostSpace Ghost points his power bands at the Council of Doom threateningly.Space Ghost: GIVE ME YOUR MONEY.Lokar: No, I shan't give you a shekel.Black Widow: OH NOOOOO!Brak: Okay, here's my allowance!
- "Dimethylpyrimidinol Bisulfite": Zorak constantly trying to sell his product, an ointment, constantly cutting into Space Ghost's interviews.
SG: Okay Zorak I'm sick of this so do your stupid little pitch and get it out of your system!Zorak: Oh... um it's good... it's good ointment.SG: ...Is that it?Zorak: It's good ointment... ah, here put some on your scalp!SG: No!Zorak: Okay... it's your loss.SG: SHUT UP!Zorak: ...But see look at my pincer * gets blasted*
Space Ghost: We need to lose the glasses, Pat.
- The interview with Pat Boone gets off to an awkward start:
Pat Boone: (takes sunglasses off) Oh, well, that could be arranged. Did I shake you up a little bit?
Space Ghost: No.
Pat Boone: Listen, I am really delighted-
Space Ghost: Pat, in 1955, you recorded the monster hit "April Love".
- The Rappin' Space Goblin.
- The episode "Joshua" demonstrates how a typical episode is made. The narrator explains that every joke is tested on a randomly-selected audience.
Zorak: That's not my hand.... It's my pincer.Audience: (silence)Narrator: Oops, that line needs a little reworking.Zorak: That's not my hand.... It's my butt!Audience: (a single man laughs)Narrator: Looks like we've got a winner!
- "MY BUTT!"
- Many, many moments from Terminal. The scene in which Space Ghost imagines having a son (or a "Little Space Ghost" named Roy Allen) is one of the funniest and most demented things ever put on television.
- "I DIDN'T HIT THE BALL TODAY!!!!"
- The Nested Story Reveal in the end of "Toast" where we find out we were actually watching an episode of Talk Soup, complete with host John Henson.
- In "Cahill", an upcoming storm's static electricity messes with the opening & in the madness Space Ghost teleports in front of Zorak's pod & yells "BABALOOOOO!" in a high pitched voice.
- The ending where the storm turns out to be a fair all along, to the delight of the crew.
- From "Rio Ghosto": "Where'd you get that sweater? It looks cheap. I hate it."
- In "Pal Joey", when Space Ghost calmly walks up to Zorak and punches him in the face. Usually Space Ghost just blasts him, so it's hilarious to see him just sock him. Also, the Limited Animation of Ghost walking up to Zorak is just priceless in how bad it is (they just took a still frame of Space Ghost standing and bobbed it up and down).
Space Ghost: It's best not to make nice with Zorak. He'll eat you faster than a Swiss blacksmith at a corkboard convention.
- In the same episode, Space Ghost's weird analogy to guest Michael Moore:
- The ending of "Curses".
- "Intense Patriotism": Space Ghost's head on Mount Rushmore.
- Space Ghost threatening to put Zorak and Moltar in "the box".
- The "Chambraigne" episode, the Chambraigne ad, Bob Costas narrating Space Ghost blasting Zorak off like a baseball gamed and completed with Gainax Ending
Space Ghost: I AM THE KING!Space Ghost: YOU WANNA A PIECE OF ME? YOU WANNA A PIECE OF THE KING?!
Space Ghost: Let's stop right there. If someone approached you about washing your hair, (Space Ghost's left arm falls off) what would you say to them? I'll tell you what you should say. You'd say, "Thanks, but no thanks. I don't need large brains to have a good time." You wanna be groovy, huh? You wanna fit in? Wanna go to the big dance? Wanna be the KING? You'll be the fool! Shampoo will play you for the fool!
- Space Ghost tries to scare a classroom of kids straight:
Teacher: Okay, well, thank you for coming-
Space Ghost: Oh, I'm not done. I'm serious. These brains, they're out there. They're shining. With eyes of hard plastic. And blue hair. BLUE AS THE NIGHT!
Carl: "It doesn't work! It's psychosomatic! It's a placebo!"
- This right before it.
Space Ghost: "Huh, those are big words. Maybe I should wash my hair again."
Carl: "No! Can you not comprehend that your ignorance will cause me to explode now? ARRGH!"
(Space Ghost's arm falls off)
Carl: If you had a neck and I had hands I would strangle it until the brain which is your body burst out the top of your head which does not exist.
- This tortured threat from Carl to his son.
- "Snatch": The scene where Moltar and Zorak egg Space Ghost on to touch the replicating pods. So stupid but so funny.
Zorak: Hey. Touch it. Go ooonnnn. See what happens.
Moltar: Touch it, you know you want to.
Zorak: Come on, man, touch it!
Moltar: Yes, feel its heat.
Zorak: Touch it!
Moltar: Stroke its supple contours.
Zorak: Nothing'll happen. Touch it. (whispers) That's what ya wanna do.
Moltar: Touch it!
Zorak: Touch it!
Moltar: It's there for you to touch.
Zorak: (whispers) You know you wanna!
(dramatic music plays as Space Ghost's finger slowly edges towards the pod. Just as he's about to touch it...)
Space Ghost: There, I touched it. Now I have to leave.
Zorak: No you didn't.
Space Ghost: No, I did. I touched it.
- Girl Hair: Space Ghost's campfire story of "The Oasis of the Headless Mad Comber of Comb Mountain"
Space Ghost Legend has it you can hear him, every night at about this time. Sharpening his comb. His pink, plastic... comb. Asking his victims, "Part on the right, or the left?" Hooks for feet.Hanson: No.Space Ghost: HOOKS FOR FEET! Eyes... made of wood. Combing... combing... harder and harder, until you were DEAD!Hanson: Eeehhhh...Space Ghost: Ones say he just disappeared, others say he's still here... combing. Combing... [pulls out a comb dramatically] COMBING! Oh no, oh no! [whooshes the comb around]
- Fire Ant: Space Ghost does his damnedest to try to show Conan O'Brian that he's a genius...it doesn't work.
Conan O'Brien. FACE IT SPACE GHOST! YOU'RE A SPACE MAN WHO CHOKED ON A MUFFIN!Space Ghost. THAT, SIR, IS IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE I AM ALLERGIC TO MUFFINS!
Space Ghost: Hey, your son just bit me here! I wanna know what you're gonna do about it!
- This leads to a rant about a show he once tried to pitch to the WB, which makes his hand burst into flames, which he ignores. The flames spread across his body over the course of several minutes, and when his head bursts into flames, Zorak bursts out laughing.
- The episode opens with nearly a minute of awkward staring between Zorak and Conan while an orchestral fanfare plays before Space Ghost (who, let's remember, is able to fly), is lowered into his desk from the ceiling in a harness. After a failed attempt at demonstrating his thought-amplifying speaker, Space Ghost needs to leave to deal with a galactic emergency, and does so by...having Moltar slowly winch him up with the harness (again, despite Space Ghost being able to fly), only for one of the straps to break, leaving Space Ghost dangling helplessly as Zorak and Moltar beat him with sticks until he falls down.
- This entry would be incomplete without mentioning the ant "chase" sequence in the full, uncut version of the episode. Space Ghost is bitten by an ant, then follows the ant out of the studio and across Ghost Planet. This sequence, when aired in full, takes ten minutes before it reaches its climax (and the end of the episode). There are no commercial breaks and the sequence is made up of Space Ghost following the ant while muttering to himself. The absurdity of the segment is enough to earn it placement here.
- And when he finally gets to the ant's home and the father answers the door:
(Beat; ant father roars)
(Space Ghost is seen running away from the pursuing father ant)
Space Ghost: Your son is a moron!
- From "Kentucky Nightmare":
Willie Nelson: (to a bear) Hey, how ya doin', Tex?Zorak: Eh, that bear's a Yankee.Willie Nelson: Well, (bleep) him.
Space Ghost: Dumb people haul trash around
- And from the same episode, Space Ghost's Version of "Space Cowboy"
- One word. Flipmode. The entire episode, really.
Space Ghost: Who killed Walt Disney?! beat With a wrench?
Space Ghost: Now, woodpile, did you or did you not masquerade as eels and socked Zorak with that wrench? Answer me! Now, what about these beans?
Moltar: Those must've fallen out of my hair.
Moltar: Well, you're just making all this BLEEP up!
Moltar: ...Oh, what? You're the only one that gets to make BLEEP up?
Moltar: *Sigh* ...Those are part of the dinner.
Space Ghost: No they're not. They're part of the plot.
Moltar: They were on the menu.
Space Ghost: Murder is on the menu!
Moltar: This goes on for a while. Like, an hour.
- Which is then followed by... one of the more interesting reveals of the episode:
Space Ghost: Look... bean prints on the wrench. But, what is the wrench for?Moltar: That's where you were trying to fix the, uh, gas leak? And you made it leak?
- Followed by Space Ghost making things worse:
Space Ghost: Is that where I got all these ideas? Cause they're brilliant! Hey... Break all the pipes in the sub for MORE good ideas! (proceeds to bust open some more gas pipes with the wrench) Dive! (sub klaxon starts up) Dive! SUCK ON THE PIPES! [...] Hang on, Busta! (voice gets higher pitched) We're goin' underwater!
- Followed by Space Ghost making things worse:
- The ending, when Space Ghost gets stuck in a vent while trying to pull Zorak out. We see Moltar and Space Ghost watching the show later, their backs to the audience.
Space Ghost: But I got out, right?
Moltar: Yeah, but then you got back in.
Space Ghost: Did you get the part where I was "Space Ghost: A Tribute to Freedom"?
Moltar: Nah, we recorded over that.
Space Ghost: WHAT.
Moltar: Ahem. I mean, I couldn't find it.
(cuts to a frontal shot of Space Ghost)
Space Ghost: Then what was the point of sanding my face off?!
- Sweet for Brak, in which Tenacious D's performance of "Fuck Her Gently" gets censored at the last moment with a TERRIBLE acoustic cover of "Good King Wenceslas".
- "Whipping Post", the very first line uttered:
Space Ghost: Let's get one thing straight: I'm angry!
- In Memory of Elizabeth Reed
William Shatner: (Keeping his mouth closed) Do you hear me? Can you hear me? Do you dig me? Can you get my message? You hear what I'm saying? (Exhales)(Beat)Space Ghost: William Shatner!William Shatner: That's incorrect.Space Ghost: Bill Shatman!William Shatner: No. (Beat) I'm the space guy. I'm Captain Kirk!(Beat)
- Idlewild South, where Space Ghost gets drunk. Highlights include him riding the guest monitor like a cowboy, jumping on his desk and acting like it's a surfboard, and when Moltar (who gave him beer to begin with) suggests maybe he drink some water...
Space Ghost: You drink some water with YOUR ASS!
Space Ghost: Ah, you have a drinking problem, don't I?
- Not to mention this line.
Moltar: You're really digging yourself a deep hole.Space Ghost: A hole that I will bang my way out of!
- "I too, banged a dog up the ass."
Space Ghost: We...moisten your dreams with man urine? (Beat)Triumph: Whatever you say with your outer space jar-Space Ghost: Won't you help? Just 20 cents a day and we moisten your dreams with man urine! Won't you help? I think I will. (Begins peeing in his coffee mug) Won't you help? Look at this... (After he finishes peeing) Now, Moltar, sprinkle my contribution on the children, so that they may dream.
- From the same episode, Space Ghost's foundation to cure "Retardos."