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Funny: Sonic Adventure Abridged
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- Eggman Singing "Rain Drops Keep Fallin' on My Head"
- Big: Froggy I love you even if you do give me genital warts.
- "You are clearly made of water but we will destroy you somehow."
- Chaos singing the Spider-Man theme in Blah-Blah's
- The Ending:
Eggman: Muhaahahhahaha! Sonic dosen't even realize I'm behind this genius evil plan and I'm watching him at this very moment! muahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahahahahha...
Sonic(offscreen): I can hear you, Eggman!
Eggman: Son of a bitch!
: Froggy, don't run away! You're just dragging out the plot and making us seem like relevant characters! Aw, he went down the sewer. Come back here, Jesus! Hello, officer I'm not doing anything wrong, just trying to find my slippery friend. And committing grand theft auto for two seconds.
- Froggy: Stop following me dumbass... I mean ribbit.
Tails:I'VE SOILED MYSELF!!!!!!!!
Sonic: Worst. Sidekick. Ever. You can fly, dipshit! Bail out!
Tails: What?(Plane explodes)
- Sonic insulting Michael Jackson, and then getting chased by a killer whale and developing severe whaleaphobia.
"Dolphins! I knew you were in league with the whales!"
- On Chaos Emeralds:
Tails: I've been testing a new power source.
Sonic: Is it a Chaos Emerald?
Tails: How did you know?
Sonic: Because it's always a fucking Chaos Emerald! Show me one Sonic game without a Chaos Emerald and I'll show you a gay vampire!
Sonic: Okay, here's your prize.
- When Sonic asks Tails to take a closer look at his emerald after calling it gay:It shows the same Edward picture on it complete with Big Gay Al's Song from South Park:Bigger, Longer, and Uncut.
- Big singing Safety Dance.
- On Eggman:
Sonic: Oh, please, you're probably going to get some Egg machine or another.
Eggman: Now, Sonic. What would give you that idea? *laughs*
Sonic: Because you call all your things "Egg something"! This is probably like the "Egg Wasp"!
Eggman: Oh, I'm insulted you would come up with such a lame name like that. You got any better ones?
Tails: The "Egg Bee"?
Sonic: What about the "Egg Hornet"?
Eggman: Well...um...possibly? Maybe? You can't prove anything!
- On Sonic X:
Eggman:Oh, I love this show! I love this show. Here. This is my favorite part. This is where Chris dives in to save Sonic. But what I like to do is I like to stop it here, and rewind it. And then it seems like he dives in, realizes its Sonic down there, and then decides not to save him. Thus sparing us all a very painful series that would forever tarnish the Sonic franchise. Hang your head in shame, Sonic.
- After Knuckles finds a Master Emerald shard in a canister:
: Why is there an Emerald in there?! Some asshole got here first and he hid this shit all over the place, and now I have to go on this wild goose chase because some asshole's fucking with me. If I find out Rouge
was here, I'm gonna kill her. I mean, I know she's my love intrest and everything but, there's so much crap you can take from a woman, you know?
- After Chaos appears:
: This is Chaos. He's working for me. And by the way, if I feed him all the Chaos Emeralds, you're all gonna fucking die. Here you go, Chaos! Its morphing time!
: With Chaos by my side, I will be invincible! And there is no flaw in this plan! Especially not that Chaos is going to betray me halfway through. Nope, I have complete control over him. Without using any gadgets or anything like that. He's just damn scared of my mustache is all. As well he should be. And together we can kick your ass all the way back to Sonic CD
! Because everybody hated Sonic CD!
You can call up all the friends you want, you can have call up all the friends they want. By the way, I like the metal arm. Do you like the metal arm? I thought it was going overboard, but, I can never tell!
- After Tails gets the Emerald:
Tails: I got the Emerald! Now I'm the fastest thing alive! Hahahaha!
*Sorry, we can't show you what's next. We're rated: G*
Sonic: I'm gonna kick your ass!
Tails: You can't catch me, Sonic! I'm the fastest thing al-
Tails: Ow, you broke my tailbone!
Sonic: Wait. We're rated G? But we're incredibly violent.
Tails: Ow, you broke my other tailbone!
*more punches landing*
Sonic: PG? I curse! A lot!
Tails: Ow, you fixed one of my tailbones and then you broke it again!
Eggman: I JUST FOUND MY PENIS, AND NOW I'M GOING TO SHARE IT WITH EVERYBODY!
- The name's Beta. James Beta.
- Ater Knuckles gets up the mountain:
Knuckles: Wh-what the hell? Monkey bars? Who's bringing their kids up here? What family actually made it up here? You probably all died in fucking lava while you were on the Merry-Go-Round! You deserve it!
- The Brick Joke from episode 5 that appears twice.
Sonic: Owwww, my jaw! My mouth! What is that taste?!
Tails: My butt hurts, Sonic!
Sonic: Shut up, Tails. That's normal. Ohhh, God! Tastes like summer camp!
Knuckles: My Knuckles senses are tingling. That must mean Sonic's over this way...cause he gets me all tingly.
Tails: Those cutscenes are 30 minutes long!
Sonic: At least the lips match. Hey, Knuckles! How you doing, buddy?
Knuckles: *Rushes towards Sonic* Don't call me BUDDY!
Sonic: *Dodges* What the hell is wrong with you? Are you on your period or something?
: Don't give me that, Sonic. I heard what you said about Sonic and Knuckles
, calling it the worst game ever!
Sonic: I never said that! But, now that you mention it, it kinda is the worst game ever.
Sonic: What's your point?
Knuckles: You. In a kart!
Sonic: Well whatever, Knuckles. You suck.
Knuckles: Speaking of sucking, how's your jaw doing, Sonic?
Sonic: Actually, it's feeling much be—— ...YOU!
- "Aaaaaaaannnnnddddd Ninja Vanish!"
- "Attention Station Square. Pingas. That is all."
Gamma (to Amy who has the blue bird with her): Okay. Give me the bird.
*Amy flips off Gamma*
Gamma: Fucking hilarious. I'll say it again. Give me the bird.
*Amy flips him off with both hands*
Gamma: Never gets old. One last time. Give me the bird, and if you show me any of your digits, I will blast them off.
*Amy releases the bird which flies in front of Gamma... and flips him off*
Gamma: Wasn't expecting that. Damn it all for being so cute.
- Why did the Egg Carrier fly from the Mystic Ruins only to return there? Eggman was getting McDonald's.
Eggman: And I'm gonna have ten more Big Macs, and then I'm gonna need another bucket of McNuggets, and then I want one of your Oreo McFlurrys, and I want you to put that on a McRib. Okay? Now let see—Oh my God, they've got holiday pies.
Eggman: Sorry Amy, you can't escape that easily! You're going to have to beat my high score on Whack-A-Mole! Wuhahahaha! What? Yes, I'm still ordering!
- At the end of the episode.
Eggman: And I think I'm gonna need something to wash it all down with.
Cashier: A hose, sir?
- Big's meeting with Tikal.
Tikal: Is it alright for me to be here?
Big: Um, I guess so.
Tikal: So do you... trust me?
Big: Um... Not really, I only just met you, I don't even know your name.
Tikal: I'm not talking to you ya fat fuck!
Big: Wait, where are you going? And who are you talking to?
Tikal: They call themselves *Demonic voice* the Directors!
Big: Holy shit! That was scary!
Tikal: The servers are the 7 chaos, chaos is power, power enriched by the heart, the controller is the one who unifies the chaos. *Normal voice* I don't know what that fucking means!
Big: Please let me go home!
- After the Egg Carrier transforms (to the theme from Transformers: The Movie).
Tails: Whoa! It transformed, that's so cool!
Sonic: Really Tails? Are you that easily amused?
Knuckles (Whose on a different part of the ship): OH MY GOD ITS A TRANSFORMER THAT'S AWESOME!
- Also, on the Sky Deck:
Knuckles: Hey a switch. I wonder what would happen if I pressed it?
(Cut to the Egg Carrier crashing and exploding while Knuckles screams)
Knuckles: Yeeeaaahhh better not touch it.
- Another from the Sky Deck.
Sonic: Stupid Sky Deck, stupid Eggman, Fucking Tails, won't even fly me over a stupid... Are you even listening to me?!
Tails: Yeah, well not you you, but you.
*Tails plays his ring tone: Sonic saying "I need Tails" while Sonic groans in frustration*
: Say can I get you to record another one? This time say "Tails, hold me
Sonic: Okay. Come here.
Sonic: Is it recording.
*Sonic starts beating the crap out of Tails*
Sonic (While Tails cries out in pain): I need Tails! I need fucking Tails! Hows this for a new ringtone Tails? Can you hear me now Tails? How about now?
Tails: I still love you—*PUNCH* Ow!
- The part on the Egg Carrier with Eggman and Amy.
Eggman: Where do you think you're going, Amy?
Eggman: All right! I'm going to ask you nicely! Give me the bird!
Amy: Okay! *flips Eggman off*
Eggman: Oh, come on! That didn't even look real!
- Chaos is a freaky fish guy!
- After Big leaves with Froggy:
Sonic: What's that Eggman?
Sonic: You were saying something?
Eggman: ....but I....
Sonic: Oh, you're finished. Suck it!
Eggman: NO! GODDAMNIT! I HATE YOU, I HATE ME, I HATE PUPPIES! OH GOD DO I HATE PUPPIES, AAAAHHHHHHHHH!
- Knuckles Tempting Fate.
Knuckles: Looks like Sonic's gotten everything taken care of so I know for a fact that when I turn around, there's not gonna be anything that's gonna stop me, from going back to Angel Island—- *Turns around and sees Chaos 6* HOLY BALLS! HOW DID I MISS THAT?! Wait, how'd you thaw out so quickly? We're a million feet in the air! It's like, zero degrees!
Zero [Don't ask me, ask SEGA.]
Knuckles: Proving once and for all they're more evil than [[4KidsEntertainments 4Kids]] and Disney combined.
- Once again, the beginning.
Gamma: Reviewing memory banks.
Beta: I'm getting an upgrade!
Mega Man: HEEEELLP MEEEE!
Eggman: There's more to you than meets the eye.
Beta: This tickles!
Mega Man: HELP!
(all of them start to rabble until it stops on Eggman)
Eggman: Stop sucking my dick or I'll call the police!
Gamma: Wait a minute. He never said that. New mission objective: to save my friends. And by "save", I mean "blow the fucking crap out of them".
(Intro starts up, but then cuts off)
Gamma: Oh. And any of you thinking to use my last line as a sexual joke, know this. I will find you, and I will murder you.
Gamma: Enjoy the show.
- The beginning of Amy's Final Egg.
Amy: Is that a cartoony falling sound effect I'm hearing? There's something bad behing me, isn't there?
Amy: AHHHH! DO WHAT YOU WANT TO THE BIRD, BUT LEAVE ME ALONE!
- That whole Sonic scene in Final Egg with the Tails and Knuckles dolls.
Knuckles Doll: Sonic's my best friend!
Sonic: What? But I thought Tails was my best friend!
Tails Doll: Do you really mean that, Sonic?
Sonic: ...Shove it, Tails. Wait, wait wait. Why am I arguing with dolls?
- Eggman's rap, which doubles as a Crowning Music of Awesome.
- Pretty much the whole episode.
- The beginning.
: Hello, Barney
[Zeta]. I'm here to save you.
Barney: Now when you say you're gonna save me, you mean you're gonna murder the shit outta me, right?
Gamma: Why yes, I do.
Barney: Awesome! Here! I'll stand still and rotate you in a circle so you can kill me from all directions!
Gamma: Why, thank you.
Barney: There you go. Lower...lower...ah yes, that's the spot. Remember kids, assisting suicide is A-okay!
- The whole part of the recap episode.
- The part on Angel Island is pretty funny as well.
Knuckles: Goddamnit, the warranty expired yesterday! I bought the extended one, too! Bunch of assholes, I hate Best Buy, I hate customer service, I hate tech support, Geek Squad can suck my dick, OH I hate everybody! ...Maybe it has to do with all the Chaos Emeralds here. Ehhh, does that mean I have to go see Sonic? (groans) Ffuck me.
Eggman: Did someone get the liscense plate on that Jell-O?
Knuckles: What? Who's there?
Knuckles: THAT is a giant fucking lollipop. (Runs up to Eggman)
Eggman: Knuckles...(groans in pain)
Knuckles: Oh. Hi, Eggman.
Eggman: It's Chaos! He...no longer fears the mustache!
Knuckles: What?! Okay! Eggman, listen very carefully. Is it Chaos Six, or Chaos Zero?
Knuckles: FUCK! I can't BEAT Chaos Zero!
Chaos: BLAH! (He then attacks Knuckles)
- After Chaos transforms:
: Good to see you....Cloud
Sonic: What the fuck? Cloud? Oh, hey! Do you need help with him?
Cloud: Oh, fuck you guys. Where are my goddamn Cheetos?
Sonic: WORST! CAMEO! EVER!
- The entire Perfect Chaos battle.