Phil Fimple: "I think World War II is my favorite war."
Alan, on the phone with tech support: "I'm not a ma'am!"
Irwin, when he discovers what chips were used to make the Commando Elite and Gorgonites: "You put munitions chips in toys!?"
Phil: "What are you packin', tiny?" Commando: "Packin'? Packin' you! *fires net*"
Chip Hazard: You....Maggot! An officer and a gentleman does not strike a lady!
(Boyfriend gets hit by flamethrower)
When Kristy starts smashing up the Gwendy dolls with a brilliant expression of sadistic glee on her face.
Doll: Run! She's got a baton! It's a baton death march! She's gone postal!
Kristy: I've ALWAYS hated these things!
The Commandos decide to play a song for psychological warfare. The song? "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls. While it's playing Marianne (still a little doped up from the sleeping pills) says "Phil, I love this song!" and we see an angry neighbour screaming from her window "Fimble, turn that off!"
Alan's mother is trying to deflect the flaming tennis balls the Commandos are firing into the living room. When one nearly hits the family cat, she goes "That's it!" and knocks the next right back out at the Commandos, causing a nice little explosion.