Funny: Sister Act

  • This exchange.
    Mother Superior: There are three vows every nun must take: poverty-
    Deloris: Mmm-hmm.
    Mother Superior: Obedience-
    Deloris: Mmm-hmm.
    Mother Superior: ...and chastity.
    Deloris: I am outta here!
  • And who can forget her attempt at the prayer before dinner? "Bless us, oh Lord, and these thy gifts ... and, yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of no food, I shall fear no hunger. We want you to give us this day our daily bread ... and to the republic for which it stands ... by the power vested in me, I now pronounce us, ready to eat. Amen."
  • Better than that is when Joey and Willy are having problems killing Deloris because she's a nun.
    Willy: Well, Vince, how do you know she didn't join up and become a real nun while she was there? Things like this happen.
    • Then they try a 'one, two, three, shoot', but both chicken out. Finally, they untie Deloris and tell her to take off "the, uh, the, uh, nun-thing." She falls to her knees.
    Joey: What is she doing?
    Willy: Oh my God, she's praying.
    Deloris: Lord, I want you to forgive Willy and Joey, because they know not what they do. They're only doin' what Vince told 'em to do, because Vince is too chicken to do it himself! So he's called upon these two men to take care of his business! So I want you to forgive them, Lord. Espectum, espertum, cacoomb, toutu, eplubium. Amen!
    Willy and Joey: (cross themselves) Amen.
    (Deloris whacks them both in their crotches and darts off)
  • The scene where the nuns lay their guilt trip on the helicopter pilot.
  • In the musical, the Monsignor's gradual transformation into a Vegas style emcee.
  • The scene when they silently stand in front of an adult porn locale, passively smiling at the people who think about entering and no one does.
  • In the sequel, Mary Patrick teaches sex education. Her take on sex? "You don't have to bite the doughnut to know it's sweet."
  • Deloris/Mary Clarence's TV-preacher style defense of Maria, a student in the sequel who doesn't know the words to "Mary Had a Little Lamb."
  • At the climax of the sequel, the male teachers of St. Francis, all priests, lock superintendent Mr. Krisp in a closet so he can't reveal the truth about "Mary Clarence" using Father Wolfgaard's elongated pastry. As they hurry away, Father Thomas crosses himself and says, "Holy Father in Heaven forgive us—we know exactly what we do!"
  • Reverend Mother's benediction to Mr. Krisp: "Go with God, Krispy." And in the same vein, Mary Clarence's Deadpan Snarker response to his claim that the school has no money: "Yet they manage to pay you, Krispy."
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