Funny: Shadows of the Empire

  • The exchange between the pilot of a transport, Luke and Dash;
    Suprosa Captain: This is captain of the Suprosa. Are you crazy? We're hauling fertilizer here! What kind of pirates are you?!
    Luke: We are not pirates. Like I said, we are with the Alliance.
    Dash: And maybe we have a big garden.
    • This exact sequence is in X-Wing Alliance as well.
  • Lando's attempt at cooking.
    Lando: Come on, I spent an hour in the galley fixing this. Everybody dig in!
    Chewie: (Growls something that doesn't sound complimentary.)
    Lando: Hey pal, you don't like it, you cook next time.
    Luke: Giju stew? It looks like old boot plastic and fertilizer drenched in pond scum. Smells like it too—
    Leia: (Chuckles; she had just thought exactly the same thing about it.)
    Lando: Fine, fine! Don't eat it, that'll just mean more for me. (Eats a spoonful of it.) See? It tastes great, it - (His expression goes from irritated to amazed, slides to horror, then right into disgust.)
  • C-3PO and R2-D2 trying to fly the Millennium Falcon towards Xizor's Palace.
    C-3PO: I'm trying to turn it right side up! Be quiet, Artoo!
  • This brilliant use of the Narrative Profanity Filter: "Lando stated, in a colorful fashion, that Han's ancestry was in question and his personal habits left much to be desired."
    • Along with this:
    "Lando swore at the ship, a string of colorful phrases, including several graphic-if highly unlikely-descriptions of things he wished it would do to itself."
  • The scene where Luke and Dash Rendar are trying to bribe a droid.
    Dash: *Grins and pulls out his blaster* Okay, Goldie. My name is Man with a Blaster About to Cook You. Either you open the door or your busy Bothan is going to have to get himself a new receptionist.
    The droid: Oh, dear.
    Dash: And no security alarms, either. I'm watching you real carefully. Up, and do the door manually.
    The droid: Very well, Man with a Blaster About to Cook You.
  • When Luke, Lando, Dash and Chewie are walking through the sewers to Xizor's palace, and Chewie has just nearly fallen into the stuff.
    Lando: *Chuckles* Yeah, be careful, you big clumsy - yow! *Skids and sits down in the sludge, getting his backside soaked.*
    Dash: You should have worn old clothes.
    Lando: Hey, Rendar, I don't have any old clothes.
    Dash: You do now. I don't think you'll ever get 'em clean enough to wear in public. They'd drum you right out of the Elite Stormtroopers smelling like that.
    Lando: Shut up.