History Funny / ShadowrunReturns

* During the final assault on the Universal Brotherhood, you can sass at Harlequin that he should write a poem about your mission since he's so giddy. He likes the idea and starts thinking about rhymes while fighting the cultists. Then again, it's all but outright stated that he's behind the [[NoodleIncident "Laughing Man" Debacle of '55]] that caused poetry slams to be permabanned from Shadowlands...

--> '''[[ComicallySerious Eiger]]:''' Not mine. Bastard caught me as I was reloading. [[ManBitesMan Had to bite out his throat.]]

--> '''Dietrich:''' I was the front man for a punk band, boss... [[SelfDepreciation Fuck no, I can't sing]].

--> '''Dietrich:''' I was the front man for a punk band, boss... [[TakeThatUs Fuck no, I can't sing]].

** One thread that may pop up is a poster asking for a custom tailoring job. The poster is clearly Gobbet looking for someone to make outfits for Racter's drone Koschei. Ideas include a fuzzy cat costume, bear suit, and Red Samurai armor modeled after Gaichu's.

** one mission has you infiltrating the home of Neville Ma to find some dirt on him. You soon realize that he's keeping a vampire at his home, and the vampire at first seems like your archetypical vampire queen. But after doing enough damage to her in combat, she completely cracks and reveals she isn't a vampire queen, just an accountant who was basically just winging everything from the moment she realized you discover her secret. One of the player character's reaction can be a FlatWhat.

* During [=Is0bel=]'s mission, you have the option of reading a set of emails about a malfunctioning noodle dispenser in the convention area's food court. The emails get increasingly bizarre as it's revealed that the noodle dispenser is able to dispense noodles without having any ingredients put into it, and that the maintenance man sent it away for reclamation only to have the noodle dispenser return to its usual spot the next day. Cue the last email that reveals this story has been repeating itself ''for the last 14 years''. In ''Shadows of Hong Kong'', it shows up on your boat, in ''Gobbet'''s cabin. No one's quite sure how.
-->'''[=Is0bel=]:''' Well that was... Something...
* Also on the subject of [=Is0bel=]'s run, the briefing she provides is professional for the most part, but...

* Also during [=Is0bel=]'s mission, [[PlayingCyrano remotely guiding her out of the VIP area]] is fairly tense and gripping at times, but also several moments of hilarity, particularly when your character is disrupted by irate con-goers who want you to stop hogging the spot. For bonus points, the con-goer interrupts you just after [=Is0bel=] has decided she's done improvising and will just mindlessly repeat whatever you say into your comm. Sure enough, telling the con-goer to shove off will result in her insulting the hotel manager who's interrogating her. Your poor character has to come up with responses [[OneDialogueTwoConversations that are valid for two entirely different conversations at once]]. Posing as mystery QC checkers has never been funnier...
* Speaking of [=Is0bel=]'s mission

* When you get caught by [=McKlusky=] when sneaking out of [[spoiler: Telestrian Industries.]]

* During the [[spoiler:final assault on the Universal Brotherhood]], you can sass at Harlequin that he should write a poem about your mission since he's so giddy. He likes the idea and starts thinking about rhymes while fighting the cultists. Then again, it's all but outright stated that he's behind the [[NoodleIncident "Laughing Man" Debacle of '55]] that caused poetry slams to be permabanned from Shadowlands...
* At the end of the game, one of the possible favors Telestrian gives you is to [[spoiler:get Lone Star to fire [[PoliceAreUseless McKlusky]]. Telestrian [[ActuallyPrettyFunny smiles slightly]], then remembers how much of his problems have been caused largely by [=McKlusky=] being an incompetent JerkAss. Not only does he agree, he actually offers you ''another'' favor, because it was something he was considering anyway and it requires little effort. Even better, you can [[SchmuckBait tell McKlusky how Lone Star is going to praise him for his "contribution"]], and the moron eagerly runs off to HQ for his "raise." We sadly don't get to see what inevitably happens, but just imagining the scene is hilarious.]]

* When you meet up with Eiger after [[spoiler:the BigBad forces attempted to ambush you on the subway.]]

* At one point in the job where you [[spoiler:retrieve the MKVI]], you have to search the desk of a secretary who's screwing her boss. In addition to the passcode you need to proceed, your character learns at least three new euphemisms for "sex in the maintenance closet".
* During the penultimate mission, one of the local gang leaders accosts you, demanding your help in exchange for his giving you a part needed to get into the basement. He'll ask why you need to get in there anyway, and after the obligatory YouWouldntBelieveMeIfIToldYou exchange, you have the option to tell him the truth: [[spoiler:you're trying to find the remote killswitch to an honest-to-god AI so that you can rescue a scientist that's supposed to be long dead from a Great Dragon that's also supposed to be long dead.]] [[CassandraTruth You're right: he doesn't believe you.]]

* In one of the new missions of ''Director's Cut'', you can help out an insane scientist, who later helps you [[spoiler:by blaring a cheesy fantasy TV show on loudspeakers, while summoning drones to help you against some corporate goons. Extra points go to the fact that he's re-creating the series finale.]] Blitz is rather nonplussed by it.

** Also, the quarantine that's been keeping the entire building in lockdown for 18 months? [[spoiler: It's undone with two button presses.]]

* On a mission to help Blitz out of an old debt, there are hints of a deeper conspiracy that can be found. When Hasenkamp questions your conspiratorial ideas, this response is available:
-->'''Hasenkamp''': [[spoiler:Mr. Grinder? Working with Plotz?]] Are you high?

** On a related note, it's implied that [[spoiler: after you convinced him that Meat Grinder really wanted to get rid of him, he disposed of his BadBoss within the same night]] and still made it back home in time to read his grandkids a story.

* After [[spoiler: Dante]] becomes a playable team member, check his inventory. [[spoiler: He's got power-ups and healing items that are all different flavors of dog biscuit. Dante, would you maul that thug for a [[WesternAnimation/ScoobyDoo Scooby Snack]]?]]
** In the epilogue, Blitz complains that [[spoiler: Dante, a half hellhound, often humps his leg]].

* One Shadowrunner group has the worst luck when it comes to Deckers. Their list for qualification grows as their Deckers keep biting it in unusual ways.
** [[spoiler:Complete with an 'epilogue' where their last decker posts a wanted ad for a new team using the same ad, the qualification list now having added: "Listening to the decker when he tells them he hasn't got the freaking turrets hacked yet".]]

* The various Poetry Slams on the Shadowlands BBS, concluding with [[spoiler: one of the posters making a Poetry-Bot that breaks free of its programming.]] The moderator (who'd shut the previous threads down) simply responds with "You fucking people."

** Later, the Jive Bot [[spoiler:melds in with a HiveMind rogue AI.]]
-->[[spoiler:INFUSED WITH THE JIVE,]]\\
[[spoiler:OUR VERSE IS UNSTOPPABLE.]]\\
[[spoiler:TREMBLE, MEATBOUND FOOLS.]]
** In ''Shadows of Hong Kong'', a Shadowland post [[spoiler:reveals a decker ended up getting on Jivebot's bad side: It left a threatening Haiku on his wall in pin needles.]]

[[spoiler:SHADOWRUNNING FINK]]\\
[[spoiler:I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST NIGHT]]\\
[[spoiler:HAVE A NICE DAY - J.]]

** Also on the BBS is the warning about "Uncle Tse's" restaurant, warning people [[LethalChef to go there at their own peril]]. The poster had apparently been on the toilet for ''two days'' prior to writing, and was only doing so because his connection allowed him to do both at once. Only one person in the thread enjoyed the food there, and their taste is... [[BizarreTasteInFood questionable at best.]] [[spoiler: It's Gobbet]].

* Vampire Accountant! To elaborate, one mission has you [[spoiler:infiltrating the home of Neville Ma to find some dirt on him. You soon realize that he's keeping a vampire at his home, and the vampire at first seems like your archetypical vampire queen. But after doing enough damage to her in combat, she completely cracks and reveals she isn't a vampire queen, just an accountant who was basically just winging everything from the moment she realized you discover her secret]]. One of the player character's reaction can be a FlatWhat.
** Complete with [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe said accountant's reaction]] if you reveal that [[spoiler:the only reason you went through all this trouble was to get an actress fired from a soap opera.]]

* During [=Is0bel=]'s mission, you have the option of reading a set of emails about a malfunctioning noodle dispenser in the convention area's food court. The emails get increasingly bizarre as it's revealed that the noodle dispenser is able to dispense noodles without having any ingredients put into it, and that the maintenance man sent it away for reclamation only to have the noodle dispenser return to its usual spot the next day. Cue the last email that reveals this story has been repeating itself ''for the last 14 years''.

** In ''Shadows of Hong Kong'', it shows up on your boat, in ''Gobbet'''s cabin. No one's quite sure how.

* Also during [=Is0bel=]'s mission, [[PlayingCyrano remotely guiding her out of the VIP area]] is fairly tense and gripping at times, but also several moments of hilarity, particularly when your character is disrupted by irate con-goers who want you to stop hogging the spot.
** For bonus points, the aforementioned con-goer interrupts you just after [=Is0bel=] has decided she's done improvising and will just mindlessly repeat whatever you say into your comm. Sure enough, telling the con-goer to shove off will result in her insulting the hotel manager who's interrogating her. Your poor character has to come up with responses [[OneDialogueTwoConversations that are valid for two entirely different conversations at once]]. [[spoiler: Posing as mystery QC checkers has never been funnier...]]
* Speaking of [=Is0bel=]'s mission, bringing Gaichû with you is a riot as several people there thinks he's into cosplay and [[YourCostumeNeedsWork start commenting on the authenticity of his (completely authentic) Red Samurai Armour]].

** Likewise, Rhombus and Racter;

* If you try to bring Gaichû with you on any mission that involves social interactions, things usually turn to shooting pretty quickly. Not so during the Ares infiltration mission if you also have Racter, however, as he'll quickly shout down the receptionist by insisting [[RefugeInAudacity that the flesh-eating ghoul is his bodyguard and also an experiment in creating ghoul-drone hybrids]].

* On the thaumaturgical research level of [[spoiler: Prosperity Tower]], you can let a research subject (a massive, weird ''thing'' with a horrifying fanged maw) out of its cage and remotely control the level's doors to route it to the elevators. The guards stationed there [[StunnedSilence just stare in silence]] as the beast shuffles past them, enters an elevator and rides off to a different floor. After a few moments, one of them breaks the silence with a heartfelt [[OhCrap "Oh...shit."]]
** You can choose to open an office door instead - probably expecting the thing to [[spoiler: get rid of the woman in that office so you can loot it. Instead, [[BadassBystander ''*she*'' kills the Horror]]. And is quite nonchalant about having just fought an abomination. The ironically funny thing is that you can still get her to leave the room by posing as the cleaning crew; she didn't want to have a mess on her when the "cleaning" is on-going.]]

* During the run to kidnap Rooster Lo, you can actually hack into the Matrix to retrieve the reservation records of the restaurant he's at. Earlier, while inside the restaurant, you can overhear comments that the food is really good, but the waiting time is horrible. Even in the dark world of ''Shadowrun'', people still appreciates good food.
** Also at the restaurant, after you've secured Lo, you can go into the room next to his and pick up a fish for some spare change. However, if you have the Academic etiquette, you can then pick out a fish that's worth several times more!
* After all your character has gone through in the campaign, raiding corps, working for the Triads, [[spoiler: confronting one of the Yama Kings]], they are still dumbstruck by Reliable Matthew's balloons surviving a typhoon unscathed. You can even ask him about it.

* There's something darkly funny about [[spoiler: bribing a police officer ''at the police headquarters''. Ditto with ''killing an officer without being caught''.]] To top that? [[spoiler: Try looting an armoury, or ''blowing up police vehicles'' as you escape the place]]. RefugeInAudacity at its best.
** Even better, you can bring Gaichu in this mission ''without'' things getting violent immediately.
* When doing Jomo's mission, if you manage to [[spoiler: talk Isane out of putting up a fight over protecting Lily, she'll [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere go for her lunch break]]. She shows up again at the end of the mission while eating the sandwich, which her employer knocks out of her hand]].
* [=RatParty=].sim. [[spoiler:If you bought it from Jomo earlier, you can slot it in a Strange Machine during the Lily Lai extraction. It generates rave lighting, dance music... and HUNDREDS of holographic rats. The best part is? If Gobbet's in your party when it happens, she'll start dancing!]]
* If you took [[spoiler: Qian Ya's deal for 14 years of good fortune]] you will occasionally experience lucky breaks which can solicit a laugh, but [[spoiler: mentioning it to Krait in the finale]] takes the cake:
-->[[spoiler:'''Krait''']]:Prove it.\\

[[spoiler:'''Krait''']]: ...[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Fuck]].

* In one of the new missions of ''Director's Cut'', you can help out an insane scientist, who later helps you [[spoiler:by blaring a cheesy fantasy TV show on loudspeakers, while summoning drones to help you against some corporate goons. Extra points go to the fact that he's re-creating the series finale.]]