Funny: Sealab 2021
- "Hesh wants some sex!"
- Hesh want married sex!
- Hesh, proclaiming that he'll bite anything, sinks his teeth into the main circuit despite Marco's warnings. Hilarity Ensues.
Hesh: OH MY GOD! IT HURTS BAD!
- Quinn's crazy hallucination sequences in "Waking Quinn". One of the first involves him and Debbie talking about their relationship problems in the dark, and then Quinn turns on the lights... revealing that they're both talking fish for some reason.
- Here's a classic one:
Marco: Calm down, I'll see what I can do about finding your little toy.
Captain Murphy: It's not a toy. It makes real cupcakes, with a 40 watt bulb, and there's icing packets. But the secret ingredient is love. Damn it.
Marco: Just try to calm down, go have some pudding.
Captain Murphy: Pudding can't fill the emptiness inside me! But it'll help.
Captain Murphy: You better find me that Happy Cake oven, or die trying. Hear that Stormy? Die.
- Also in that same episode, Murphy has a picture of Debbie sleeping naked.
- The Stinger in I, Robot where Harry Goz is asked to read Murphy's line "There go my nipples again" in various ways.
Director: Now read it like you're Archie Bunker.Murphy: Awww, there go my nipples again there, Edith.Marco: Santa Maria! Captain you cannot punish the crew like this. They will mutiny!
Captain Murphy: I will slaughter them like a wolf among lambs! The SEAS will run RED with the BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES!
Sparks: Take it easy there Tamberlain, sir.
- The entire exchange between Sparks, Stormy, and Hesh in "Green Fever" regarding their pipes.
- "HEY! DON'T CUSS IN FRONT OF MY PIPE!!!"
- The Escalating Punchline at the end of "In the Closet":
Murphy: Oh now I remember.
Quinn: Remember what?!
Murphy: Well, you know how people rescue greyhounds from the tracks?
Marco: Those weren't any greyhounds!
Murphy: No I don't like greyhounds. Too pointy. So I rescued some fighting pitbulls from Guatemala.
Murphy: Yep. Tough little bastards too.
Sparks: What the hell were you thinking?!
Murphy: (punches Sparks out cold) So I came here to the closet to get them some food.
Marco: They haven't been feed in three days?!
Murphy: Well, more like ten, because I keep forgetting.
Debbie: We're trapped!
Murphy: Yes, yes we are. But, it could be worse?
Debbie: This is as bad as it could get!
Quinn: How... could it possible... get any freakin WORSE?!
Murphy: We could be out there... like Stormy.
[Gilligan Cut to Stormy running from the pitbulls]
- Pretty much the entirety of Der Dieb (aka "Martian Law").
- "Under Martian law doctors and other wizards are forbidden!"
- Stormy oddly incurring the wrath of God while watching Debbie, Black Debbie, and an Asian Hooker have a topless bar brawl.
Stormy: Please God, don't strike me blind!Gets struck blind by lightning, somehow leaving him with sunglasses and a caneStormy: Sweet crackers, I'm blind!
- A good amount of "Isla de las Chupacabras"
Shanks: I forgot to mention, Happy Fun Time Island is filled with poisonous snakes.Quinn: "Happy Fun Time"? Who the hell named this island?!Shanks: ...Rambo.
- Also Stormy setting himself on fire as a result of Insane Troll Logic.
- Bizzaro in general - the overall plot is the sealab crew is held hostage by bizzaro versions of themselves.
Quinn: Why did you let them on board in the first place ?Murphy: At first they seemed nice...
Debbie: I thought you wanted the destructo beam.Bizarro Murphy:...Now we want both.
- And the Bizzaros cant decide what they want from the crew - a destructo beam and diamonds (both of which are non existent).
Bizzaro Sparks: Put me down! PUT ME DOWN!Bizzaro Quinn: We're friends!(Bizzaro Quinn smashes Bizzaro Sparks to the ground breaking his jar.)
- Eventually they introduce Bizzaro Quinn; an alien like creature (who Murphy nicknamed turtle face) that hatched from an egg and spends half of the episode bouncing around saying "Bizzaro", beofore it ends up attacking Bizzaro Sparks (who's a floating head in a jar).
Bizzaro Quinn: I'm helping! I'm helping! I'm helping you.
- Bizzaro Quinn tries helping Bizzaro Sparks by pouring salt on him.
Bizzaro Debbie: My breasts detect this one knows something.
- The entire sequence with Bizzaro Debbie 'interrogating' Quinn, which appears to consist entirely of having sex with him.
- From it's beginning with:
Marco: Don't talk, Quinn!Quinn: I don't know anything!
- To this when she's taking him away:
Bizarro Debbie (offscreen): Bizzar-OH! Bizzar-OH!Debbie: You're a whore!Bizarro Debbie (offscreen): Oh, I know! Oh, I know~!Bizarro Quinn (having jumped on Debbie's legs): Wanna make him jealous? Get delicious Bizzaro revenge? Mmm, delicious.
- Then, after the (extremely loud) sex begins:
Stormy: Hey, you should interrogate me. I know some stuff.Bizarro Marco: Okay. (he begins twisting Stormy's neck around and shouting Bizzaro in his ear)
- Which culminates in:
Bizarro Murphy: Did you try *bleep*ing him in the *bleep*?Bizarro Debbie: Yes.Quinn (proudly): Twice!Bizarro Murphy: Because that usually works.
- Eventually, the sequence terminates with a now-tired-and-satisfied Quinn emerging in a smoking jacket, as Bizzaro Debbie declares that she couldn't get him to talk.
- From the "Tourist Season" episode:
Kid wearing cheese hat: I want my mommy (cries)Murphy: That kid's head is made of cheese!
- In "Radio Free":
Larry: I got a joke for ya, Howlin' Mad.
Larry: A priest-
Larry: ...a nun-
Larry: ...and a rabbi-
Murphy: Go to hell. (hangs up with a flushing toilet sound)