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* Somerset and Mills escorting John Doe to the outskirts of the city. Getting out of the car, Somerset spots an object on the road, and Mills asks what he's found. Somerset replies "A dead dog". Cue in Doe's deadpan voice: "I didn't do that."

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* Somerset and Mills escorting John Doe to the outskirts of the city. Getting out of the car, Somerset spots an object on the road, and Mills asks what he's found. Somerset replies "A dead dog". Cue in Doe's deadpan voice: "I didn't do that." Yes, John Doe, you tortured and murdered half a dozen people, but heaven forbid someone should [[SkewedPriorities falsely accuse you of killing a dog]].
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* As the duo investigate the Greed victim's office, a frustrated Mills concludes that the killer is "fucking with us". Somerset tries to ignore him to continue investigating, only for Mills to bend over a desk and snark "See this? This is us!"
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--> '''Somerset:''' [[IThoughtItMeant Not what you're thinking]].

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--> '''Somerset:''' [[IThoughtItMeant [[JustForFun/IThoughtItMeant Not what you're thinking]].
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--> '''Somerset:''' Not what you're thinking.

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--> '''Somerset:''' [[IThoughtItMeant Not what you're thinking.thinking]].
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* The captain answering a phone: "This is not even my desk!"

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* The captain answering a phone: "This is not even my desk!"desk!" and immediately hanging up.
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* Real Life/meta example: Creator/GwynethPaltrow 's 2017 Hallowe'en [[https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie-news/gwyneth-paltrow-wins-halloween-seven-costume-1052787/ costume]] ...as Tracy's head in a box.
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--> '''Mills:''' ''Of Human Bondage''...bondage?

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--> '''Mills:''' ''Of Human Bondage''...''Literature/OfHumanBondage''...bondage?



* On the commentary, Pitt remarks that there was originally a scene where Mills and Somerset discussed "thumb recall"; cut off the thumb of anyone convicted of a violent crime, and there's no way they'd be able to fire a gun. The scene was ultimately cut from the film, because they were afraid [[RhetoricalRequestBlunder someone would "roll with it."]]

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* On the commentary, Pitt DVDCommentary, Creator/BradPitt remarks that there was originally a scene where Mills and Somerset discussed "thumb recall"; cut off the thumb of anyone convicted of a violent crime, and there's no way they'd be able to fire a gun. The scene was ultimately cut from the film, because they were afraid [[RhetoricalRequestBlunder someone would "roll with it."]]
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* After trying, and failing, to understand the books Somerset asked him to read, Mills has a police officer buy and deliver ''cliffs notes'' of the books to him.

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* After trying, and failing, to understand the books Somerset asked him to read, Mills has a police officer buy and deliver ''cliffs notes'' of ''Cliff's Notes'' for the books to him.
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--> '''Somerset:''' ''[Regarding Mills' ability to handle the Gluttony murder]'' It's too soon for him.

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--> '''Somerset:''' ''[Regarding Mills' Mills's ability to handle the Gluttony murder]'' It's too soon for him.



* Mills' perpetually short temper can be rather funny, even in some of the most disturbing scenes of the movie.

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* Mills' Mills's perpetually short temper can be rather funny, even in some of the most disturbing scenes of the movie.



* Mills' YoureInsane speech to Doe.

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* Mills' Mills's YoureInsane speech to Doe.
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* Mills' YoureInsane speech to Doe.
-->'''Mills:''' I've been trying to figure something in my head, and maybe you can help me out, yeah? When a person is insane, as you clearly are, do you know that you're insane? Maybe you're just sitting around, reading "Guns and Ammo", masturbating in your own feces, do you just stop and go, "Wow! It is amazing how fucking crazy I really am!"? Yeah. Do you guys do that?
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* Somerset and Mills escorting serial killer and villain John Doe to the outskirts of the city. Getting out of the car, Mills asks Somerset if he found anything. "A dead dog". Cue in Doe's deadpan voice: "I didn't do that."

to:

* Somerset and Mills escorting serial killer and villain John Doe to the outskirts of the city. Getting out of the car, Somerset spots an object on the road, and Mills asks what he's found. Somerset if he found anything. replies "A dead dog". Cue in Doe's deadpan voice: "I didn't do that.""



* After trying, and failing, to understand the books Somerset asked him to read. Mills has a police officer buy and deliver ''cliffs notes'' of the books to him.

to:

* After trying, and failing, to understand the books Somerset asked him to read. read, Mills has a police officer buy and deliver ''cliffs notes'' of the books to him.



** And the captain, played by Creator/RLeeErmey's nonchalant "Wake up, Glimmer Twins." *clap clap*

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** And the captain, played by Creator/RLeeErmey's Creator/RLeeErmey, responds with a nonchalant "Wake up, Glimmer Twins." *clap clap*
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* In what's an otherwise [[NightmareFuel terrifying scene]] where John Doe turns himself in, once he's down on the ground, he says in his default deadpan voice, "I'd like to speak to my lawyer, please."
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* Mills mispronouncing the Marquis de Sade, "the Marquis de Sha-Day''". For the unaware, "Music/{{Sade}}" is also the name of a female singer whose name is pronounced "Sha-Day". What makes this even better is that it was [[ThrowItIn ad-libbed]].

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* Mills mispronouncing the Marquis de Sade, "the Marquis de Sha-Day''".''Sha-Day''". For the unaware, "Music/{{Sade}}" is also the name of a female singer whose name is pronounced "Sha-Day". What makes this even better is that it was [[ThrowItIn ad-libbed]].
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* Mills mispronouncing the Marquis de Sade, "the Marquis de Sha-Day''. For the unaware, "Music/{{Sade}}" is also the name of a female singer whose name is pronounced "Sha-Day".

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* Mills mispronouncing the Marquis de Sade, "the Marquis de Sha-Day''.Sha-Day''". For the unaware, "Music/{{Sade}}" is also the name of a female singer whose name is pronounced "Sha-Day". What makes this even better is that it was [[ThrowItIn ad-libbed]].
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--> '''Somerset:''' A soothing, relaxing, vibrating home.
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* As Mills and Somerset are reviewing the FBI-compiled book list:
--> '''Mills:''' ''Of Human Bondage''...bondage?
--> '''Somerset:''' Not what you're thinking.

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