The entire scene in Honest Ed's. It has to be seen to be believed. Also:
Todd: The De-Veganization ray! I can dodge this!
But he couldn't.
"Hey Scotty, check out my ring!"
Wallace during The Ramona/Envy fight, driving Envy to distraction in the most hilarious ways.
"Get her Ramona! Get her right in her horsey face!"
Envy: Stop hiding behind your precious Wallace! Ramona: What makes you think I'm hiding behind him? <Wallace is actually standing right in front of Ramona, apparently oblivious to this fact> Wallace: Oh, sorry. Am I in the way?
What happened after Todd punched Ramona a hole in the moon? About thirty pages of tidal waves.
Wallace relentlessly taunting Crash and the Boys which starts with this....
Crash: I'm Crash, and these are the Boys! Wallace: Is that girl a boy, too? Crash: Yes! (Trasha flips Wallace off.)
And ends with this....
Crash:This is for the guy who keeps shouting at us from the balcony. It's called "We Hate You, Please Die." Wallace: Cool, a song for me!
"If I peed on myself would you guys say it was the rain?"
How Scott figures out that the fourth evil ex is female? A chick hatches in his brain!
Which he follows up by shouting at Ramona "YOU HAD A SEXY PHASE!?"
Scott calling Young Neil just "Neil" prompts a caption: "The greatest day of his life."
Scott and Gideon's memory cam in volume 6.
(We see chibi versions of characters running through a field)
Knives: scotty ur so hot & sexxy
Scott: o hey thanx
Envy: omigod ur like, such a stud
Scott: yeah totes
(Then with Gideon)
Ramona: babby u lite my fire
Gideon: r u obsessed or what lol
From Volume 4:
Wallace: Man, you know, I'm really glad everything worked out for you. Scott: Me too. Wallace: ...Because I signed a lease on a place with Mobile like a week and a half ago and you would have been seriously screwed if you wanted to stay! <Both Scott & Wallace begin to laugh uproariosly. Scott suddenly stops.> Scott:You bastard. Wallace: Yeah, so, give me a call sometime, buddy!
Scott Pilgrim: Sketchy-ass 24-year-old.
Scott: (to Knives) Do you want to have sex? I think we should have sex.CASUAL SEX.
And the ensuing make-out session after she rejects him:
And the brillant part is, that's exactly correct. Which just makes it funnier.
Scott's whole backstory on his last job.
Scott Pilgrim: The greatest Prep Chef in Toronto...accidentally botching an order.
Stephen Stills: ... Whatever. They ordered dinner at 10:55, they're getting a salad.
Followed shortly by the this exchange:
Scott:(To Stephen Stills) So Julie turned you gay? Joseph:Seriously, get better [friends].
Volume 1 has this little gem:
Scott: Hey, Amazon.ca, that's the online bookstore or whatever, right? Wallace: Yep. Scott: What's the website for that? <Wallace is stunned silent.> Wallace: ...Amazon.ca. Scott: Cool! Thanks!
Volume 3 has Scott and Todd entering into a stare down while everyone else talks about stuff. Then, for no reason, Scott flips his shit all over Todd.
Scott: THAT IS IT! YOU COCKY COCK!YOU'LL PAY FOR YOUR CRIMES AGAINST HUMANITY!
Stephen begging Hollie's gay roommate Joseph to make an album for Sex Bob-omb in volume 4.
Stephen:Joseph!!! Can you record our album? Sex Bob-omb needs to record an album! We need to take it to the next level! You saw us play in volume 3, right?We aren't all that sucky, right??? Joseph:...Okay, I'll do it. But only because I find you attractive. Stephen:I can live with that!!!
Scott levels up towards the end of the fight with Gideon - "Balls +2"
When Stephen Stills asks what's so terrifying about Honest Ed's, Julie answers,
Julie: ...You know how when a baby is first born it just cries at the sheer horror of being alive?"
Hell, that entire sequence counts. Just their agonised reactions from just being in there is hilarious. And to top it off:
And then Honest Ed's imploded.
This awesome bit from Volume 3.
Kim: "Actually, boys, I'm busy. I've got a hot date tonight." Scott: "A hot date with a collage you're doing?" Stephen Stills: "A hot date with a 2000-piece puzzle depicting the Bluenose II?" Kim: "Okay, did it ever occur to you that I might actually have a date?" Hilariously awkward pause Scott: "Kim, you're a hell of a catch." Stephen Stills: "You're a damn fine woman, Kim. Damn fine." Kim: "Whatever, let's just play the setlist again, assholes..."
Scott, while a drunken Kim professes her love for equally drunk Ramona: "Make out!"
In fact, the key-toss moment is even funnier in the bloopers, because right after Scott messes up the line, Wallace replies with "Dude, you took a blow to the head for nothing"
One in particular is what he says to Ramona when she is fighting Roxy
Wallace: Kick her in the balls!
Wallace's reaction in that scene in general is hilarious. Everyone, especially Scott, is confused and freaked out by the two girls engaging in video game-esque fighting. Wallace, meanwhile, is calm as you please and having a drink while watching the whole thing.
Apparently, it took Michael Cera 33 shots to get the package Scott orders just to see Ramona into the trash. This is confirmed in the blooper reel, and is pretty damn entertaining to watch.
During one of those bad throws, Mary Elizabeth Winston drops the pen she's holding. Michael Cera comments "Wouldn't it be something if I made the shot but you dropped the pen?"
When everyone starts meeting each other in the Rockit, after Knives kisses Scott and Ramona's right there, everyone starts giving each other dramatic glances, complete with dramatic zooms. Knives gives one to Ramona; Stacey gives one to Scott...and Wallace gives one to his newest crush, Jimmy.
And the latter cut to the two of them making out. While an arrow-shot heart is drawn around them.
Speaking of The Rockit... "Fun Fact: This Place is a Toilet"
After defeating Gideon, Scott is faced down by a dark version of himself, Nega Scott. We cut to Knives and Ramona waiting outside the club as the door opens.... and Scott and Nega Scott both walk out, laughing like old friends.
"Ah, we just shot the shit. He's just a really nice guy. We're meeting for brunch next week. We actually have a lot in common."
Scott jumping through a glass window, then reaching back in for his coat, then running off in order to escape from Knives when she showed up at his door and asked Wallace if Scott was home. All of which in full view of the door she's standing at, while Wallace is the picture of calm in telling her he's not around.
There is always something funny about jumping through a window for non action movie related purposes.
Not only that, but when the camera shifts to Knives asking "Really?" when she's told that Scott just left, you can see him running away behind her. And she's totally oblivious to this all.
Inspiring pump-up music is playing as we see Scott prepare to go after Gideon, with fast smash-cuts to him standing up, fixing his wrist bands, making fists... and the music suddenly stops as he takes a minute to fully tie his shoes. The theater exploded with laughter.
Tied together with the look on Todd Ingram's face, which displays that he was legitimately surprised to find out that chicken isn't vegan.
When Ramona asks Scott how he knows Knives, Scott's brain is shown as being unable to choose between answering "I Gotta Pee" and "Who, Her?" He ends up blurting out "I gotta pee on her."
On that note, the Freeze Frame Bonus on the wheel of responses: They include: "She's nobody", "She's forty!", "Idiot!", "No speaka English", "When's dinner?", "Uh...", "Tell Pac Man story", "No, you are", "Pass out" and "It was nothing".
K.O.!!! (both times)
Knives's literal ":O" face.
Knives' fangirlism over Envy, reaching its peak with her happily exclaiming "I've kissed lips that kissed yours!"
Knives' fangirlism over Sex Bob-omb in general is hysterical (mainly because she's the only fan.)
Followed up with Kim shouting "WE ARE SEX BOB-OMB, AND WE'RE HERE TO WATCH SCOTT PILGRIM KICK YOUR TEETH IN!" when Scott tries again after using his extra life.
A subtle one: The hole in the moon, complete with an 8-bit explosion sound effect.
The real humor in the hole in the moon is the freeze frame bonus, during the panel in which it explodes, it looks exactly like the Death Star while it's firing. Made funnier by the fact that it comes from a Darth Vader expy.
After Gideon's been defeated, he starts ranting about forming the league and acting as if it was some great task, before saying "Do you know how long it took me to get the contact information of all the other exes? Do you?!Like TWO HOURS!!!"
Roxy is generally one of the funniest parts of the movie, spewing lines such as this:
Roxy: Your BF's about to get F'd in the B!
It's even funnier if you happen to be a fan of Avatar theLast Airbender. Hearing sweet Katara say all of those things is just HYSTERICAL.
"I'M A LITTLE BI-FURIOUS!!"
When Scott is trying to "get to second and a half base" with Ramona and makes her dinner.
Ramona: This garlic bread is really good.
Scott: Garlic bread is my favorite food, I could literately eat it for like, every meal. Or you know, eat it all the time without ever stopping. *laughs*
Ramona: Then you'd get fat.
Scott: Now why would I get fat?
Ramona: Bread makes you fat.
Scott: (With a mouth full of garlic bread): Bread makes you fat?!
30 MINUTES LATER
Scott showing a sketch of Ramona.
Scott: Do you know a girl with a hair like this? (A doodle of a face, with a single circle, some lines for hair and no facial expression. In black and white)
Comeau: Yes, that's Ramona Flowers.
Referring to Wallace, after he told Scott's sister Stacey that he was dating a 17 year old:
Scott: That gossipy bitch.
Wallace: You know me.
Even better is Wallace telling Stacey that Scott's thinking about dating two girls at the same time. Wallace is unconscious when he does this.
The deleted scene in which Matthew Patel introduces himself twice with the exact same rehearsed precision, movements and speech pattern.
Censoring the film to make the language more "tv-safe" replaces many of the cursing into humorously random euphemisms including Oscar the Grouch, peaches, and owls.
When Scott gets Matthew Patel's e-mail about their upcoming fight, the movie plays it up for as much drama as possible, with Scott going "this is... this is... this is...!" and the soundtrack dramatically booms as it displays the words "fight" "to" "the" "death"... and then the drama abruptly drains away as Scott continues "this is boooooooring. Dele-eeete."
Patel: Didn't you get my e-mail explaining the situation?
Scott: ...I skimmed it.
Stephen wetting himself when Gideon wants to sign for their band, and then it points it out on-screen.
Envy telling Julie to "Shut the [bleep] up"
Todd punches Knives so hard that it knocks the highlights out of her hair.
"You punched the highlights out of her hair...He punched the highlights out of her hair!"
As Sex Bob-Omb heads to the party in the opening scenes:
Scott seems to enjoy being with Knives but you get a look into his mind (a desert scape) and he's lamenting "So alone..."
Ramona's reaction when she breezes through the desert scape: "You're not alone. You're just having some idiotic dream."
Wallace's snarking with Crash and the Boys.
Crash: Hello, my name's Crash, and these are the boys.
Wallace: Is that girl a boy too?
The drummer flips him off.
Kim: They have a girl drummer?!
Crash: This is called "I'm So Sad, I'm So Very Very Sad"''. (plays one note)(lyrics: "so sad") Thank you.
Wallace: "It's not a race, guys!"
Crash: "Okay, this song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony, and it's called 'We Hate You, Please Die.'"
Wallace: "Sweet! Love this one."
"The weak point is the back of her knees. Whenever we were making out I would just".
When Stephen Stills realizes that they lost their contract and starts scooping up the change dropped by Gideon's death. Made even funnier when Neil looks like he's going to do the same thing, but really just takes Gideon's gum.
Also, after destroying the world and enslaving all the other characters, NS decides to...go home and take a nap. After all, it's been a long day.
From Knives' Ending...
"Knives jumped into Scott's arms and kissed him! Suddenly, confetti fell from the sky... It was their wedding day! Knives looked lovely in her gown. All of Scott's friends were there to see... Scott was very confused.