Funny: Schindler's List
- When Schindler's starting up his factory, he decides he needs a secretary. As he holds 'auditions' for the position, each woman he reviews is beautiful but can't type worth anything; these are the women that get his attention. Of course, there's one that can type super-fast, but Schindler's too busy averting his eyes from her appearance to notice. When Stern confronts him about making a decision, he decides he can't ("They're all so... qualified.") and hires them all.
- Early in the film, Stern had the misfortune of being loaded on a Train, on account of leaving his work permit in his drawer. While looking for him, Schindler is accosted by two SS personnel, with one of them even attempting to write down his name. Nonchalantly, after listing down their names, Schindler says "Well, by the end of the month, you'll both be in Southern Russia". Cue their Oh, Crap faces. Then, they join Schindler calling for Stern's name.
- When the Jews, mayor included, are evicted, Schindler moves into the mayor's house. Schindler clearly enjoys it. The mayor, on the other hand, is raging at how bad the conditions are, and screaming about how it couldn't possibly be worse, when twelve other people walk into the room. Looks like he has to share!
Schindler: It couldn't be better.Cut to the ghettoMrs. Nussbaum: It could be worse...Mr. Nussbaum: [...] How could it possibly be worse?!Twelve other Jews walk into the room, saying greetings
- Stern's deadpan response when Schindler asks if there's any reason to be worried about the factory's future.
Stern: The war could end.
- Schindler giving a toast to Stern and his good work, and Stern just sitting there with drink in hand and a confused face. Then Schindler asking him to at least pretend to be overjoyed. And when even then doesn't get, Schindler just drink his cup, and Stern's one.
- A Bilingual Bonus. After Oscar kissed a Jewish woman on his birthday party, the orchestra, which was silently watched in disbelief, promptly starts to play "To ostatnia niedziela". The lines goes as "This is the last Sunday,| Today we part,| Today we will move apart| On the eternal time."
- Some Black Comedy occurs when Göth tries executing one of Schindler's workers...only for his Luger to jam on him.note He produces a Browning pistol instead...and it too jams on him. After several fruitless attempts to shoot the guy, he just Pistol Whips him and leaves.
- Morbid and serious as it is, its hard not to chuckle a little when a jewish boy, savvy on where the Nazi are really taking the kids, tries to find a hiding place in one of the camps. Only to keep running into other kids who have already claimed the spots.
- A meta one, but when the Spielberg noticed that everyone was becoming depressed working on such a sad picture, he called up a comedian friend of his to tell jokes over the phone to cheer everyone back up. That friend? Robin Williams.