Every. Single. Time. Fred. Says. Something. About Esther.
Fred: "Goodbye, dear."
Esther: "Oh, you called me dear."
Fred: "Why shouldn't I call you "deer"? You look like Bambi's father."
Esther: Fred Sanford, the wrath of God will strike you down.
Fred: *picks up a bat and waves it at Esther* And this Louisville slugger will knock you out!
- "The Surprise Party", after Fred returns from St. Louis and starts giving souveneirs to his family:
Fred: "I brought you somethin' too, Esther."
Esther: "Why, that's nothing but a clear piece of plastic."
Fred: "No, it ain't. Put it up to your face. That's your Hallowe'en mask."
- "Libra Rising All Over Lamont":
Esther: "Who you callin' ugly, sucker?"
Fred: "I'm callin' you ugly. I could stick your face in some dough and make some gorilla cookies."