Funny: Salute Your Shorts

Season One

  • In "Michael Comes to Camp":
    Michael: What if Ug catches us?
    Budnick: You'll get thrown out of camp.
    Sponge: What if the girls catch up to us?
    Budnick: They'll beat you up.
    Michael: And what if we refuse to go at all?
    Budnick: Donkeylips sits on your head and farts.
    (Michael and Sponge look behind to see Donkeylips smugs.)
    Michael: We'll do it!
    Sponge: We'll do it, we'll do it!
    • Sponge throwing up:
    Donkeylips: Whoa, power puke!
  • In "Zeke the Plumber", the gang tries to scare Budnick but fails with hilarious results. What they thought was Budnick was a dummy with a melon for a head. The girls scream in horror when it fell.
    Telly: I always knew he was a melon head. This just proves it.
    Z.Z.: He's probably out there. Laughing at how stupid we look.
    Telly: Budnick, you're such an idiot! You should know that you can't scare people with your stupid pranks!
    (A hand comes out of a trash can and grabs Dina. The girls run scared and screaming.)
    Budnick: (coming out of the trash can) HA HA HA! I'm the master of the universe! Nobody can scare me!
    • Michael and Sponge try to scare Budnick with fake ghosts, only to trip on his soda trap.
      Sponge: I should have seen it coming!
      Michael: Budnick, you idiot!
      Budnick: HA HA HA HA! The winner and still champion! I'm not afraid! Nobody can scare me! HA HA HA HA! Come on out. Its the big parade of losers! Loser, loser, loser, loser... and loser!
  • In "The Treasure of Sarah Madre", Donkeylips's shovel hits metal, and Budnick thinks it is the treasure after all. He continues to dig until it turns out to be a water main, which starts spraying water everywhere. The other kids run away, leaving Budnick to face the wrath of Ug, who has just found out that there is a large hole in the middle of the infield...
    Ug: There is a very deep hole in the middle of my infield. Eventually, the hole will fill up with water and the scum will float to the top! Then, Bobby Budnick, you will be mine!
    • He was about to pose for a picture in the field, which he had spent the entire previous day trimming with a pair of scissors and a ruler so that every blade of grass was the same length.
    • Dina's dialogue: "C'mon Budnick, you're our friend! And you can't put money over friendship! Oh, listen to me!"
  • In "Bunk Chief Elections", Dina and Telly got into an argument, which escalated into a pie fight. They accidentally throw a pie at Ug, so they quickly leave just as the boys return to find the kitchen a mess.
    Michael: What happened here?
    Ug: (a pie on his face) I'll tell you what happened!
    Budnick: Ug! You don't think we did this, do you Ug?
    Ug: Of course....I do. Do you got your toothbrushes? (the boys pull out their toothbrushes) Now, I want you all to scrub the floors. (hands them towels) Scrubs. (throws another towel on the kitchen table and walks off)
    • Dina annoys Telly by clipping her toe nails.
  • In "The Radio Call-In Contest":
    • "No, sorry honey, I can't see you tonight. Because I'm blue. No, not sad blue. Blue blue. Toilet bowl blue!"
    • Ug demands to know who got out of their bunks during curfew. Everyone stands up, except for Sponge who fell asleep for staying up all night.
    Ug: Oh, so Sponge is the only one who didn't get out his bunk?
    • "He's just as dumb as me."
  • This dialogue in "Brownies for Thud Mackie":
    Ug: I happen to be one of the finest woodsmen since Betty Crocker.
    Z.Z.: You mean Davy Crockett.
    Ug: Yeah, him too.
    • This part in Budnick's video:
    Michael: And here's Ug to tell you what happens if you eat too much of the food here:
    [cuts to a recording of Ug talking about a poisonous plant]
    Ug: It causes stomach pain and vomiting, and paralysis to the central nervous system.
    • The whole video is this, really. Also:
  • During lunch in "Donkeylips and Sponge Weigh-In":
    Z.Z.: Maybe it's a species of lima bean.
    Michael: I don't think lima beans have little twitching legs.
    Dina: Either this is some kind of sauce or my bratwurst is sweating.
    Budnick: Hi guys. I come bearing good news.
    Z.Z.: They hung the chef?
    • The gang (minus Donkeylips, Sponge and Telly) picking up trash as punishment for trying to order burgers.
    Z.Z.: Look at it this way: cleaning up camp helps the environment!
    Budnick: Look at it this way: zip it!
    • Made even funnier by the background music!
    • On the floor looking for the missing change.
    Sponge: How could you be so dumb?
    Donkeylips: It's not my fault, it's my pocket's fault!
    Sponge: You owned the pants, you own your pocket, it's your fault!
    Donkeylips: No! My mom brought the pants, it's her fault!
  • When looking at the cast list in "Cinderella Play":
    Donkeylips: I'm a rapping mouse.
    Michael: Well, congratulations fair mouse. For I am 'Prince Charming,' and I bow to your success!
    Donkeylips: And I to yours!
    • Donkeylips, while beatboxing and rapping his lines:
    At first I'm a mouse! And I live in the house! And they think I'm a louse! And then I turn into a... horse? Of course, of course, of course... Hey Ug: "Mouse" and "Horse" do not rhyme.
  • Anytime a food fight starts up, it typically involves several background characters getting involved and it all ends with Ug showing up, blowing his whistle, and getting perfectly bullseyed by the last piece of food.

Season Two

  • In "Goodbye Michael, Hello Pinsky," Pinksy nonchalantly asks to borrow Budnick's Dartboard of Hate for use in one of his own pranks... which is to say, he borrows the ridden-with-little-holes bit of paper with his own name written on it, while acting as though he were completely unaware of what it signified. Then it actually does work quite perfectly in in his plan to convince Ug he's come down with chicken pox. You half expect to see steam coming out of Budnick's ears.
  • In "Sponge Goes to the Movies", Sponge's attempt to dissuade a caller of the public phone whose booth he's trying to hide in:
    Sponge: TheyDon'tLiveHereAnymore, stop calling! They're all dead! (slams receiver)
    • The Bavarian Fire Drill levels of hiding from Ug they try to pull off. Such as ducking into the bathrooms...
      (Donkey Lips panics and runs into the ladies room, just after Dina)
      Dina: EWWWWWW!!!
      Donkey Lips: Dina? Wow! (SLAP) Ow!
      • And then when Ug has to use the men's room...
        Ug: (failing to notice Budnick run out beforehand) Hey! There's no towels in here!
        Budnick: Ug!
        (Donkey Lips darts back into the women's room with Dina; Budnick's entrance is barred)
        Donkey Lips: Sorry, occupied!
        Dina: EW! (SLAP)
        Donkey Lips: Ow!
    • Sponge and Pinsky, members of the computer club, come up with a revolutionary way to communicate with another nearby summer camp using cutting edge early 90s technology... and it's a phone line run through the computer (camp rules forbid phone activity by a camper without a counselor's consent). Sponge steps out for a bit, and Pinsky goes nuts with it. But then...
    Dina: (entering) What are you doing?!
    (Pinsky doesn't take his eyes off the computer)
    Pinsky: I'm just talking on the— (looks toward the door and promptly realizes the horrible mistake he's made)
    Dina: A PHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE! (cue montage of other campers stampeding towards the cabin)
  • In "Anawanna Inc.", while the kids are going through mail sent by their parents:
    Z.Z.: Well what does your letter say, Pinsky?
    Pinsky: Actually... nothing. This is the letter that I sent them. It says "moved, no forwarding address." ...Should I worry about this?
  • In "They Call Me Ms. Tibbs":
    Donkeylips: Are you gonna eat your cocktail onion?
    Dina: Food is not art!
    Donkeylips: What about The Last Supper?
  • In "Citizen Pinsky", Ug made a tower of coffee tins which took him three days, and placed a sign saying "You Touch, You Die - Your Friend, Ug." As Ug was about to pose for a magazine, the gang runs around the room playing ball and Ug tries to get them out before they could knock his tower down. Relieved, he back up and accidentally knocks them out.
    • As Sponge passes out the newspapers:
    Sponge: Hey Ug, wanna copy? It's free.
    Ug: Headaches are free too. No thanks.
    Sponge: Hey Budnick, want one of these?
    Budnick: Thanks. (grabs one and blows his nose on it)
    Sponge: Hey Dina, wanna copy?
    Dina: Not unless there's a story about Paris in it. That's where my new boyfriend lives. Oh, he just adores me!
    Budnick: French people adore Jerry Lewis too, but what do they know? Ha ha!
    • During the newspaper montage, Ug keeps getting his face hit on the ink machine.
    • Donkeylips tries to play Mysterious Informant, calling himself "Deep Trout", to tell Dina that her secret is gonna be in the papers. She runs off to stop it and says "Thanks, Donkeylips!".
    "Deep Trout": How'd she know it was me?