Funny / Robot Wars

  • Any time Diotoir catches fire. Which is every time it fights.
    • One exhibition match featured Nemesis (Diotoir's equally fuzzy predecessor) and Ramrombit (a sacrificial robot built especially for the occasion) tag teamed against Sgt. Bash. In preparation for the event, Nemesis arrived with kebabs attached to it and a chef's hat, and commentator Jonathan Pearce remarked that he had heard the team doused their robot in paraffin as well. The end result was a true CMOF, and enough to make any pyromaniac weep with joy.
      • When the occasional question appears as to who actually won Inferno Insurrection, the universal response is that the winners were Sergeant Bash and the audience.
    • For context, Diotoir is covered in bright red fur with black polka dots, bloodshot googly eyes, and a surreal rictus grin. So is its team.
  • In Series 3, Heat D, Bumblebot and Ultor comparing their weapons. See it here, at 9:50s. More impressively, Philippa manages to get through most of it with a straight face.
    • Which makes it all the worse when Dead Metal severs Bumblebot's weapon in the ensuing battle, much to the amusement of Jonathan Pearce.
  • In the first War of Independence, Mortis comically hitting Sir Killalot on the head with its tanto axe.
  • Shunt smashing Major Tom's plastic bubblegum-dispenser head with its axe in the Fourth Wars.
    • Shunt's insistence on smashing model heads in general can lead to moments of these. One particular example during the first Extreme was when Subversion had an entire toy person on a submarine-like robot get knocked off the mast.
    Jonathan Pearce: Man overboard!
    • In the 4th Wars after Banshee (a full-body spinner with an ornate and ugly female head moulded on the top of it) was flipped by Spawn of Scutter, Shunt came in, drove his axe into the head and ripped it clean off. He paraded it around the arena for a bit before depositing it on the flame pit. Even funnier than this was Jonathan being reduced to high-pitched, near-hysterical giggles by the spectacle.
  • The Refbot and Sergeant Bash getting into a fight during one episode of Extreme II, with the Refbot attempting to put out Bash's flamethrower with his fire extinguisher. Even Jonathan can't focus on the actual fight because of Sgt Bash chasing Refbot around the arena.
  • Major Tom driving into the pit it had just opened in its Fifth Wars fight against Kat 3. Both teams spent most of the post-match interview in absolute hysterics.
  • Sir Killalot catching fire after attempting to push Robopig over the flame pit in the Third Wars.
    • Immediately before this, Jonathan Pearce had delivered an Incredibly Lame Pun with such enthusiasm that you got the impression he'd been waiting the entire series to say it:
      Jonathan: [as Killalot holds Robopig over the fire] And I think we can have— we do! SMOOOKY BACOOOOOOOOON!!!
  • Razer losing to the laughable Aggrobot in the Third Wars, not because Aggrobot was a superior robot, but because the back of Razer's weapon dug into the floor and left it unable to move.
  • During Hypno-Disc's first fight, against Robogeddon, after the former has completely ripped the latter's armour off and wrecked the wheels, two of the Robogeddon team members are seen talking to each other:
    Jonathan Pearce: What's Ginger saying there to little William? "There's a way back into this for us"? I don't think so!
    • Not to mention Jonathan Pearce's hysterical laughter throughout much of the battle.
      Jonathan: Oh, you shouldn't laugh— look at that, laid bare! [immediately starts laughing again]
  • Following Hypnodisc's similarly one-sided Series 4 fight against Splinter:
    Craig Charles: Very close fight, we'll have to go to the judges on that one. Only joking!
  • Another Hypno-Disc one: during its Mayhem battle against Wheely Big Cheese and Ming 3 in Extreme 1, Hypno-Disc tore both of Ming 3's wheels off, one after the other, leaving it completely helpless. Cue Jonathan Pearce:
    Jonathan: So, uhh... what are you gonna do now, Ming 3? Go on! Back into the action! [audibly cracking up] Creep across the arena floor!
  • In Series 2, during the "Tug Of War" trial, the camera frequently cuts to a young girl holding a sign that says "Matilda", including after the house robot dispatches each challenger. After Kill Dozer manages to be the only robot to survive the trial, the girl turns her sign around to reveal it reads "Kill Dozer." Not nearly as funny as Jonathan Pearce's reaction, though:
    Jonathan Pearce: Hey! You can't do that!
  • During the Series 4 fight between Dominator 2 and 101 (Dominator 2 is armed with a large axe and spends the fight sticking numerous holes in 101):
    Jonathan Pearce: Do not try this at home, children, with a toothpick on your brother's favourite model car. Wait until Christmas Day and do it then!
  • Two from the Series 4 Celebrity Special:
    • Natalie Cassidy ditching the Iron-Awe team for Pussycat after their loss to the latter robotnote . She also implied she would ditch Pussycat if they lost as well.
    • Diotoir resumed its habit of being the resident Chef of Iron by adding "pancake mix" to a frying pan, which was stuck on to Diotoir's arm. Vic Reeves' unusual ingredient was the decapitated bunny head decorations stolen from their round 1 opponent, Wild Thing. Their celebrity, Shauna Lowry, wasn't terribly impressed.
  • The Plunderstorm/Plunderbird team were a walking, talking Crowning Moment of Funny.
    Mike: "We found out that other teams have been using tactics. We don't like tactics, do we, Bryan?"
    Bryan: "No. We don't like any small minty things."note 
    • For what skill they lacked on the arena floor, they excelled at making the pit reporters crack up:
    Philippa: "Going into this next round, have there been any major changes made to Plunderstorm?"
    Mike: "We have done NOTHING!"
    Bryan: "Who said that?!"
    Mike: "Who has been spreading these scurrilous assertions?!"
    Bryan: "Who sent you?!"
    Philippa: "...I forgot my line."
    All three break out laughing.
  • In their second battle of Series 5, Razer were pitted against Widow's Revenge, a team supposedly made up of the wives of the Razer team membersnote . What followed was one long, relentless Crowning Moment of Funny, arguably the most hilarious battle in the show's history. It truly has to be seen to be believed.
  • In one Featherweight battle in Series 7, one robot was put on the floor flipper and was flipped all the way out of the arena. To top this, later on two featherweights were put on the flipper, and one was again launched out of the arena while the other one hit the ceiling and landed in the pit.
    Jonathan Pearce: That's come down with snow on it!
  • On the flipside, when 200kg walkerbot Black Widow was pushed onto the floor flipper after its defeat to Hypno-Disc in Series 5, the flipper actually failed to lift it, and Black Widow ended up perfectly balanced on top of the flipper. Shunt had to come in and re-position it for another go, and on the second attempt it was successfully (if unspectacularly) tipped upside-down.
  • Pretty much anything involving the ill-fated Joke Character Granny's Revenge. The first time it came around, it got burned to the ground by Sgt. Bash due to how highly flammable it was. The second time, it got bashed up, ignited again, and squashed by a cooker that fell from the Drop Zone.
    • Its first fight ended on a particularly hilarious note when the Refbot pushed the fiercely-burning Granny's Revenge into the pit... and then fell in with her.
      Jonathan Pearce: The granny's gotten hold of the Refbot! What a dreadful thought!
    • The mere fact that its second battle involved Hypno-Disc. And, of course, the post-battle interview:
    Philippa Forester: (regarding the completely demolished Granny's Revenge) "Did you suspect this might happen?"
  • Just before the aforementioned battle, the interview between Philippa and Barber-Ous (whose outer shell is made of plastic):
    Barber-Ous team captain: "The one thing we're most susceptible to, I would say, is horizontal spinning weapons. The one robot I didn't want to get pitched against was Hypno-Disc."
    Philippa: "Lucky you! That's all I needed to hear."
  • One battle in The New Blood Tournament between the robots Chopper, Mad Dog, and ICU basically consisted of Mad Dog doing next to nothing, ICU trying to have a fight, and Chopper driving into every danger the arena had to offer and generally trying to kill itself as quickly as possible. Jonathan Pearce's commentary adds to the funny.
    • At the end of the fight, having been counted out, Mad Dog then endured one of the show's funniest Humiliation Congas. After getting bashed around by Matilda, Sir Killalot tried to cut its flipper arm off, then placed it on the floor flipper, where it was propelled right into Matilda. Mad Dog was then pushed onto the Drop Zone, where it had a dustbin filled with balls (ranging from bowling balls to ping-pong balls) dropped onto it; the bowling balls missed it completely and instead knocked Sir Killalot's breastplate off.
  • After a dull battle in the Extreme 1 Vengeance, Craig Charles claiming that they couldn't show any highlights because there weren't any. The battle, which was between Plunderbird 5 and Mega Morg, was initiated because the two teams did hilarious and disparaging rap battles against each other after Mega Morg's team told Plunderbird's they would show them how it's done because "we're Welsh". In the battle itself, as the only action was Bash melting, and Shunt axing, Mega Morg's so called "Ninja Sheep", Pearce claimed that the duo did it out of boredom, and also told Shunt to carry on with his attacks after Refbot booked him!
  • Craig's son Jack tended to pop up every now and then as a 'guest' team member. He appeared as part of Diotoir's team in Series 5. After they won their first battle, Craig immediately shook his hand before talking to the main team members — Jack never said a word.
  • Firestorm started its Series 6 campaign by dominating the four-bot melee. It flipped one robot from the start and let it to rot, flipped another robot into a Corner Patrol Zone and left it to the house robots, and then flipped the remaining competitor and dumped it into the pit. It finished by driving straight into the pit afterwards.
  • Sir Chromalot's drivers had some fun in Series 6. While they were driving it into the arena for its first battle, they drove their bot into Shunt. Whether it was deliberate or not, that still provoked Shunt into following them for a few seconds.
    • Before the first round melee, Steve asks Philippa to pick a suit for him. She plucks out a cow-skin styled suit and decides that will be the one. Ray is left shaking his head.
  • The culmination of the first round melee in Series 4 Heat H, which saw all three competitors - Wheely Big Cheese, Prizephita, and Wheelosaurus - getting shoved into the pit by the House Robots.note 
    • Similarly, the Armed Forces Melee of Extreme 1 saw all three robots - Anvil, Rhino, and Mega-Hurts - going into the pit back to back. This one had to go to the judges as the former two went in together.note 
  • Though Jeremy Clarkson is considered an Unperson for his time hosting the first series, (Where he regularly talked down to the competitors, openly mocked robots, and generally didn't hold the show in high regard) his natural Deadpan Snarker tendencies had led to numerous funny moments. Particularly the first time he introduced the Series 1-exclusive trial "Labyrinth" while taking a walk through the maze:
    Jeremy Clarkson: "There are lots of different routes through it, so only a complete idiot would ever end up going down a dead end."
    Jeremy immediately walks into a maze wall.
  • During the first of two Antweight battles displayed on TV, Anty B somehow wound up getting stuck under the floor flipper for the entire battle.
    • Jonathan Pearce's commentary on this one is absolutely hilarious given it's essentially "toy" robots and he conducts it as though it's the heavyweights!
  • During the fight between Panic Attack and A-Kill in Series 6, Jonathan Pearce comments disparagingly on A-Kill's flimsy swinging weapon which does nothing but lightly tap Panic Attack:
    "That... that's not a weapon. I'm sorry! What is that?! What is this on top of A-Kill? A mighty mace? No! A... a heavy, horrendous hammer? No, no, no! Oh, a... stupendous, slicing, cutty thing? It's... nothing, really, is it?"
  • As well as the aforementioned occasion on which the Drop Zone was loaded with a huge amount of balls (ranging from bowling balls to ping-pong balls) that went everywhere on release, there was the time when the item dropped was a small portable television which got impaled on a spike sticking out of its "victim". Compounded when Matilda came in and destroyed the television with her flywheel.
  • Some of Craig's material was actually really funny, such as his introduction for Heat F of the 3rd Wars:
    Craig: Now, when you think of love, you think of candlelit dinners... skipping through poppy fields... "Where's all me money gone?"...
    • Or one of his puns before the 3rd round of Series 4 Heat C:
    Craig: Just like Bernard Manning's deodorant, our competing robots have some serious work to do in the pits!
  • When they showed up for the Series 3 semifinals (after beating Diotoir in their heat final) Graham Bone and Alex Mordue of Team Firestorm were inexplicably wearing jockstraps made from Diotoir's iconic red and black polka-dotted fur.
    Philippa: Firestorm, how do you feel?
    Alex Mordue: Uh, pretty silly in these, uh, furry codpieces.
    Philippa: Well I wasn't going to mention it actually, I was just gonna, eheh, leave everyone to wonder.
    Philippa: <pointing and laughing as Team Firestorm are bending over to push their robot into the arena> Hah, you could've got a thong! <cracks up laughing>
  • Razer demolishing Matilda, back before the introduction of her flywheel, was equal parts awesome and funny.
  • Jonathan Pearce's commentary from the Series 4 Heat G Heat Final, when Kronic the Wedgehog has been beaten up by the House Robots and is teetering on the edge of the pit:
    Jonathan: And there's Shunt again and Dead Metaaaaaaaaaal... and the Wedgehooooooooog...! [Beat, Shunt comes in, swings his axe at Kronic and misses] Come on, the Wedgehooooooooooooog...! [Beat] Uh, the Wedgehooooooooooooog...! [Killalot finally comes in and pits Kronic] Nighty night!
  • During the playoff for 5th place in German Robot Wars (between Not Perfect and Junkyard Queen), the two robots get stuck together beyond Refbot's ability to separate them, and Mr Psycho comes in to do the job himself, plucking Junkyard Queen up off the floor. He then (rather unnecessarily, since Junkyard Queen hadn't been counted out yet) decides to parade the robot around the arena, held high in the air. Unfortunately for him, he decides to do this backwards and, when he turns the wrong way at just the wrong speed, he gets a lesson in a little something called "centrifugal force".
    • In the same bout, after Junkyard Queen is counted out, Refbot puts it on the drop zone target mark, where it gets hit by... Golem. Even more ironic was that the playoff was originally supposed to be a 4-way melee between Not Perfect, Junkyard Queen, Hydrotec and Golem, and the latter two had been forced to pull out thanks to irreparable damage... but Golem ended up making it into the arena anyway.
  • Extreme 1 saw a Vengeance battle between Plunderbird and Sir Chromalot, of all people. The fight itself was nothing special - it was, after all, a fight between two Joke Characters - but the sheer Ham-to-Ham Combat and insult-flinging between the teams had to be seen to be believed.
    Mike: Don't bother parking.
    Bryan: You ain't staying long.
    Mike: You call that an entrance?
    Steve: Plundergirls, we call this an entrance.
    (cue the cheerleading squad)
  • Eric Corton, the commentator of the Dutch series, was enough of a Large Ham to pass as Jonathan Pearce's long-lost brother. One of his most amusing moments happened during the (rather pathetic) fight between X-Bot and Meshuggah, where Meshuggah went into the arena with its weapon already not working and rapidly broke down after ineffectually bumping X-Bot a few times, leading Killalot to set it on the arena floor flipper.
    Eric Corton: Drie... twee... een... [singing] FLYYYYY LIKE AN EAGLE! [Meshuggah is thrown through the air] Yeehaw!
    • To make it even funnier, when the replay was shown a few seconds later, he did the exact same thing again!
  • From Series 5 onwards, the robot information screen which shows up when a robot is introduced had a 'Weakness' tag added, which would point out a potentially fatal flaw in the robot's design. Many times, however, it was something humorous:
    Sir Chromalot: Weaknesses: Jonathan Pearce!
    Scorpion: Weaknesses: None, just the driver
    Robochicken: Weaknesses: The team
    • Barber-Ous 2 had arguably the best listing of strengths and weaknesses on the entire show:
    Strengths: Made of plastic
    Weaknesses: Made of plastic
    • Another good one from Spawn Again in Series 7:
    Weaknesses: None, hopefullynote 
    • And from Mega Morg, also in Series 7:
    Strengths: Bright Colour, Dangerous
    Weaknesses: Bright Colour, Easily Seen
  • Extreme 2 had a show where all the robots were being controlled by female roboteers (friends or relations of the usual team members). Jonathan Pearce spouted these gems early on:
    Jonathan Pearce: [on Chompalot, a dragon-esque robot] What's that, you say? All women on Robot Wars are dragons? Shame on you!
    Jonathan Pearce: [on Pussycat] What's that, you say? All women on Robot Wars are catty? Shame on you!!
  • Heat E of Series 7 featured a robot named Ewe 2 in a battle against Tetanus Booster. During the match, Jonathan Pearce went on to make EVERY U2 joke possible, and even lampshaded it twice!
  • In Series 8 Heat A, during Behemoth's battle with Nuts in the round-robin stage, it flipped one of Nuts' minibots almost into the ceiling and over halfway across the arena, causing Jonathan Pearce to burst into his trademark hysterical laughter.
    • Nuts really were the gift that kept on giving in the first episode; during their battle against Terrorhurtz they lost their outer ring with the attached chain flails (again; it had been torn off in the first round by Carbide and reattached), but then one of the flails got stuck on Terrorhurtz instead, causing them to drag the entire ring around behind them! The way the ring would spin around Terrorhurtz as it drove made it almost like Terrorhurtz had stolen and equipped the chain flail themselves!
  • During one of the round-robin matches in Heat C, Sir Killalot managed to get his lance stuck in the wall, leaving him pinned there for the rest of the fight.
    • Also in that heat, Dantomkia's owner jokingly going into a mental breakdown after it lostnote  and proceeding to ineffectively beat it with a hammer.
      • It's even funnier when you remember what Plunderbird sang after the Sir Chromalot battle in Extreme 1, fifteen years previously:
      Oh, we're big boys and we build big toys
      We're handy with a spanner
      And if it don't work, we go berserk
      And hit it with a hammer
  • Gabriel survives being hit by Ironside 3's ferocious bar spinner by basically bouncing off it. Its weapons and wheels literally wobble from the impact and then spring back into shape. It's about as weird as it sounds.
  • Chompalot's destruction at the hands of Gabriel and Shunt, in a Black Comedy way. Post-match, the roboteers are asked if they think they can repair it enough to fight again, and reply in the affirmative... whilst in the background, the robot in question bursts into flames. Needless to say, it does not in fact make it back again.
  • Sabertooth nearly flipping themselves over with their own drum spinner a few times in one battle. The reason? It was spinning the wrong way because they'd somehow wired it up backwards.
  • M.R. Speed Squared, after taking heavy damage from previous battles, goes into the arena just barely functional, with nobody even sure the weapon's still working. They open the fight by suddenly spinning up to a ridiculous extent, flipping onto their side and cartwheeling across the arena in a shower of sparks before clattering to a halt (an act known in roboteering parlance as "pulling a Mauler").
  • Cherub triggering the arena floor flipper, and then somehow managing to drive under it before it came down, and getting stuck. The team's reaction really takes the cake though.
    Sarah Colliass: I didn't even know you could get under there!
  • Pulsar, after narrowly winning a match has lost power in one wheel and their drum, so what do to prove they're still living? Turn around and use their tiny self-righting arm to gesture at the opponent.
    • Becomes funnier later, when Pulsar's SRIMECH is used as a recurring victory pose.
    • And then becomes a Chekov's Gun, when Pulsar runs out of replacement speed controllers, and narrowly avoids disqualification by using the srimech motor to power the drive system.
    • The Wyrm team, from the same heat, were almost a walking Crowning Moment of Funny. Having entered last year with the wooden Joke Character Overdozer, they'd built Wyrm to be a heavily-armoured spinner-killer... only to be knocked out even faster than Overdozer had been. After their reinstatement they were torn apart by Ironside 3, wired the drive motors backwards in their haste to get it repaired (to which the team captain's response was to hold the controller upside-down), and when Pulsar and Matilda promptly trashed the machine a second time to eliminate them for good, they proceeded to casually toss Wyrm's remains into a skip. Oh, and they painted an 'OwO' face onto the robot's front wedge.
  • The Frostbite team's reaction to their robot's obliteration at the hands of Supernova, followed by Shunt coming in to add insult to injury by ripping off the top panel with his axe:
    Harry Fletcher: We've got a bit of a bodge job to do, lads!
    (Shunt axes Frostbite's remains)
    Harry Fletcher: Oh, come on!