The Crowning Moment of Funny
page for the films, books and other media based around the legends of Robin Hood
Robin Hood: Men in Tights
has its own page
. (Given that it's a Mel Brooks
film, this is expected)
And so does Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves
- "You speak treason!" (gigantic grin) "Fluently!"
- Little John and Friar Tuck, sizeing each other up.
Little John: He's well named Friar Tuck. It would take half the deer in Sherwood Forest to fill that cabin.
Friar Tuck: And twice that to fill your empty head!
- All the scenes with Much and Bess that aren't CMOH.
- Little John winning the quarterstaff fight with Robin on the bridge.
Little John: (slams his staff onto Robins poor foot, Robin then starts dancing around on his other foot) And here's your change! (waps Robin on the head with his staff)
- Nutzy: OOOOONEE O'CLOCK AND ALLLLLLL IIIIIIISSSS WEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!
- Cue the clock chiming three times.
- The banter of Prince John and Sir Hiss.
John: One more hiss out of you, and you can walk to Nottingham.
- Robin talking to the Sheriff before the tournament while Robin's disguised as the stork:
Sheriff: Listen, Scissor Bill, if you can shoot half as good as you blabbermouth, you're better than Robin Hood.
Robin: "Robin Hood," he says, wowee! I'm tiptop, alright, but I'm not as good as he is — *Interrupts himself with a bullseye*
- Lady Kluck taking down the guards NFL-style to the tune of the USC fight song and "On Wisconsin".
- "Seize the fat one!!"
- Heck, the ENTIRE fight/chase scene.
Little John: Hey, who's driving this flying umbrella?!?
- When Captain Crocodile, after a brief skirmish with Robin, tries to get everyone's attention, the 'flying umbrella' tramples him!
"Attention, everyone...!" (SPLAT!)
- "Don't you worry, sheriff; the safety's on Old Betsy."
- Then, when the Sheriff and Trigger go out...
Sheriff: Wait a minute. Is the safety on Old Betsy?
Trigger: You bet it is, Sheriff.
Sheriff: That's what I'm afraid of. You go first.
- "Criminently, now I know why your momma called ya Nutsy."
- "GET OUTTA MY CHURCH!"
- "I know my name! GET ON WITH IT!"
- "Your traps just never work! And now look what you've done to your mother's castle!"
- Prince John talking in his sleep:
"Robin Hood?! I... get..."
[groaning] "Robin Hood, I.. I... I want..."
- Made even funnier by Robin's bemused reaction when he starts laughing hysterically in his sleep, due to Sir Hiss' tongue tickling the bottom of his foot...who he then involuntarily kicks. The look Robin gave John for the strange noises he was making in his sleep prior to this can only be matched by Hiss' when he wakes up and sees John's foot nearby, post-kicking.
- After Robin gets the bag of money from under John's pillow, John starts crying like a baby and sucks his thumb. Causing Sir Hiss to wake up with a hilarious look on his face. Robin gets the last money bag from between John's arm, which removed John's thumb from his mouth. Still sleeping, he tries to reach for his thumb. Robin takes one look at him, then gets the bag, sending the thumb right back into John's mouth.
- Drunk Sir Hiss
Prince John: Hiss! You're never around when I need you!
Sir Hiss: (from inside of the beer barrel)
Coming, coming. (laughs)
For I'm a jolly good fellow, for I'm a jolly good fellow. (Prince John uncorks the barrel and Sir Hiss comes out)
Oh, there you are, old boy! PJ, you won't believe this, but the stork was really Robin Hood!
Prince John: Robin Hood? (Sir Hiss nods as Prince John begins to laugh, until he screams and strangles Sir Hiss, before tying him in knots on a pole) Get out of that if you can.
- The way Little John introduces himself as 'Sir Reginald, Duke of Chutney' to Prince John. He's basically being as big a ham as the prince can be, and milking it for all it's worth.
- Then when Little John calls Prince John "PJ" the latter's response?
Prince John: "PJ?" I like that! Hiss, put it on my luggage! [chuckles] PJ...
- The whole bit with Skippy and his friends sneaking into the castle to get his lost arrow, spying on Lady Kluck ("As your lady-in-waiting—I'm waiting!") and Maid Marian (very amused by Lady Kluck's attempts to get the shuttlecock out of her bodice), and culminating in Skippy's pretend duel with Kluck as Prince John. Her over-the-top villainy, melodramatic "death scene", and spot-on impression of the Momma's Boy is absolutely hilarious. Honorable mention goes to "dead" Kluck whispering to Skippy to take his lady fair to Sherwood Forest, followed by Skippy dragging Marian into the bushes calling her "lady fair" ("Oh Robin, you're so impetuous!") and, when he won't give a kiss to her, Marian kissing him (on the cheek of course).
- "Sheriff, release my buddy—I mean, release the prisoner!"
- "Sheriff, I make the rules, and since I'm head man... (to Little John, who is threatening him with a dagger) ...not so hard, you mean thing... (Little John thrusts the dagger in deeper) ...LET HIM GO, FOR HEAVEN SAKES! LET! HIM! GO!"
- And when the sheriff gets wise and discovers Little John, Little John smoothly ducks his attack and nails him with a beautiful uppercut.
- At the very beginning of the climax, Prince John wakes up to Hiss holding onto Robin's rope and carrying him and his bed through his room and going off the side of his balcony window. That must have been one rude awakening.
- Then when he sees the villagers getting away with his gold, he calls upon the rhino guards to head toward the jail, only to realize he's right at the jail.
Prince John: Rhinos, halt! STOP! DESIST! (rhinos crash into the gate and through the back wall with P.J. in tow)
- As everyone is fleeing and the guards are closing in, both Skippy and Robin take aim with their bows and fire. An arrow catches every guard through the back of his shirt, carries them backward, and pins them to a post. Cue Skippy looking all cocky and smug, puffing his chest out, and pushing his hat down over his eye as he thinks he was responsible.
- Robin is sad that he can't be with Marian:
Robin: What have I got to offer her?
Little John: Well, for one thing, you can't cook.
- A little later on when Friar Tuck arrives:
Friar Tuck: Oh, for heaven's sake, son! You're no outlaw! Why, someday you'll be called a great hero!
Robin: A hero? Did you hear that, Johnny? We've just been pardoned!
Little John: Oh, that's a gas! We ain't even been arrested yet!
Friar Tuck: Alright, laugh you two rogues, but there's going to be a big to-do in Nottingham. (Tastes some of Robin's overcooked stew and coughs smoke rings, eyes watering when he stops) Well done ain't it?
While this film's Robin Hood isn't exactly the jolly bandit of yore, the film is not totally without humour:
- The scene directly after Robin introduces Marion to the Merry Men (Allan-A-Dayle, Will Scarlett and Little John) for the first time:
[Marion rides away]
Robin: [To Allan, Will and John] Lady Marion Loxley. My wife.
Will: Well played! A bit rash, but well played nonetheless.
Little John: Right you are, Robin!
Robin: Sir Robert.
[Allan, Will and John mock him shouting 'Sir!', 'Sir Bob!' and 'Sir Robert!' until he shakes his head and rides away]
- Robin has just commandeered a caravan, tied up the guards in one big bunch and sent them walking on their way:
Mook: How far to York?
Mook 2: Eighteen miles.
- Made even funnier by the riddle Robin had told the guards he would let them pass if they answered:
Robin: What has eighteen legs and isn't going anywhere?
- Prince John's conversation with his mother is incredibly and intentionally awkward, with John parading naked in front of Eleanor just to annoy her and Eleanor being completely dismissive of the young Isabella in her son's bed.
- Specifically she at first ignores Isabella but then decides she does need to hear what she's about to say - but pulls the covers over Isabella's face because "I will not have you in my presence."
- John's Kick the Dog to his lawful wife is so over-the-top that it becomes darkly hilarious. Not only he blatantly cheats on her, but also calls her "as barren as a brick"... while said wife is just outside his room.
- At the final battle:
- All of Little John's dialogue during the dance.
John: I'M GONNA MAKE YOU SMILE!
- Friar Tuck asks why they call him Little John. The man sounds rather defensive when he asks "what are you getting at?"
- Marion has just told Robin about her first week of marriage with her husband.
Robin: A good knight.
Marion: Short but sweet.
Robin: No, I meant he was a good knight...
- And then Marion realises what she's just said and hurriedly agrees and says "oh yes, my knight in arms" while awkwardly trying to get back on her horse.
- Marion asking Robin to come to bed "nicely"(paraphrased):
(Woodenly) Please, dear husband, will you share my chamber? *Mock curtsey*
- When Robin introduces Marion to the Merry Men, their one night stands come out of the house, realise that the lady of the land is right there and hurry back inside embarrassed.
Marion: I trust you had a...historic evening.
- Eleanor tries to give advice when John wants to raise taxes.
Eleanor: Milking a dry udder gets you nothing but kicked off the milking stool.
John: Spare me your barnyard memories mother, for you have none. (beat) And I don't understand them.
- Marion tries to free a ram stuck in the mud and gets stuck herself. Robin comes in too seemingly to rescue her...only to help the ram out instead. The small Death Glare on Marion's face is priceless. At least Robin does help her afterwards.
- This scene, the look on Marion's face is wonderful:
Walter: I feel invigorated. I woke this morning with a tumescent glow. Eighty-four, a miracle!
Marion: I've always wondered at the private conversations of men...