- "911 Silent Intruder". A woman runs out of her house and calls 911 after seeing somebody in a dark hallway. Turns out the intruder was an armless mannequin.
- Another segment had a break-in by a bobcat.
"WHOAAA HOOOO THERE'S A BOBCAT IN MY HOUSE!"
- Part of it is just how funny he says it, it sounds almost like he was laughing.
- One time, they featured a story about a man getting stuck trying to break into a couple's home through the chimney. Funny enough, yes, but the real kicker was that it happened around Christmastime. Even better than that? The rescue personnel all thought it was a hoot, and the victimized couple even took pictures of the trapped burglar for their Christmas cards.
Woman: What are you doing in my fireplace?!Burglar: I'm Santa Claus, What do you think?Woman: I don't see any presents, and I know I've been a good girl!
- A dog gets tangled in a telephone... and steps on the button that automatically dials 911.
- At least two criminals call 911 to turn themselves in.
- A teenager gets his tongue stuck in a freezer, a la A Christmas Story.
- A kid becomes trapped in a laundry chute while playing hide-and-seek.
Kid: I did not want to die younger than Elvis.
- A toddler gets her foot stuck in the toilet drain, and they have to break the toilet to get her out.
- A student gets his tongue stuck in a canteen.
- A college art student gets his face stuck in Plaster of Paris.
- A college girl tries making a plaster bust of her older sister's bare chest, but the lack of lubrication causes the plaster to burn the sister's skin. The fire department is called in to break the plaster and render aid, and the interviewees make it a point to say how embarrassing it was for these strange firemen to see this girl topless.
- A safe's cash gate causes the operator's hand to become stuck in an awkward position, and they are unable to move the safe.
- A kid gets his tongue stuck in a bottle.
- A woman gets trapped by a piece of furniture, and the neighbors mistake it for a domestic disturbance.
- A woman is taking a shower when the lock on the door breaks, trapping her in the bathroom.
- "Gator Gulch," despite the seriousness of the story, has one moment that is pretty Narm-y.
- "911 Santa Delivery." A woman goes into labor on Christmas Eve. Her baby is delivered by an EMT who had just been visiting some kids at the hospital dressed as Santa Claus. This gives her young daughter the idea that Santa doesn't only bring gifts on Christmas, he also brings babies.
- Within the first week of school, a little girl gets her finger stuck in a hole in her desk, and has to be cut free.
- "Lizard Finger Lock": The funniest part about this segment was the fact that pretty much no one in the segment liked the eponymous pet lizard. What really sells it is the grossed out reaction that the responding police officer has after he pries the lizard off of the boy's finger, and is left there holding the reptile in his hand.
Funny / Rescue 911
Not all rescue stories are grim, dark, or depressing. In many cases, Rescue 911 could actually be pretty amusing.