Funny / Rejected

  • "My spoon is too big."
  • Silly Hats ONLY
  • The Non Sequiturs from Those Two Guys, at least until things get freaky.
    "Tuesday's coming, did you bring your coat?"
    "I live in a giant bucket."
    • The very best one is, of course:
      "Say, do you want to go see a movie?"
      "I'm feeling fat, and sassy."
      "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" [eye pops and explodes in a fountain of blood]
  • "You're watching The Family Learning Channel. And now, angry ticks fire out of my nipples."
  • "My anus is bleeding!" Admit it, you laughed. (If you listen carefully, you can even hear the voice actor fighting back laughter during the last delivery.)
  • "I am the queen of France!" as scary as it was, the way he said it and the little dance he did to go with it made it pretty darn hilarious.
  • The "slogan" for the "Kelp Dip" commercial, which is the best-known and most often-quoted Rejected jokes:
    "I am a consumer whore!"
    "And how!"
  • The segment drawn with Don Hertzfeldt's left hand.