- Chris Knight. There's a reason he's the guy on the DVD cover.
Recruiter: You *are* Chris Knight, aren't you?
Chris: I hope so. I'm wearing his underwear.
- But they seem to get it later.
Recruiter: Take care of (Chris). He's one of the ten finest young minds in the country.
Chris: Someday, I hope to be two of them. (they both laugh)
- "This? This is ice; this is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent; this is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated."
- "What about that time I found (Kent) naked with that bowl of Jell-O?"
- "Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of Sun God robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?"
- "Why am I the only one who has that dream..?"
- As they're about to use Kent's car for a prank;
Chris: Kent puts his name on his license plate.
Mitch: My mother does that to my underwear.
Chris: Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?
- "Self-realization; I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, 'I Drank What'?"
- Chris meeting up with an incredibly cute girl (Susan) waiting at Hathaway's new house:
Chris: If there's anything I can do for you, or more to the point TO you, just let me know.
Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
Chris: At the moment, no.
Susan: A girl's gotta have her standards. (walks away grinning)
- This leads to a hilarious call back later in the movie; when Chris visits Hathaway's house in the middle of the night after he successfully solves the laser problem, he sees that Hathaway and Susan are sleeping together. Chris gives Hathaway a sly grin, Hathaway merely shrugs nonchalantly.
- Dr. Hathaway has his moments, given his disdain for pretty much everyone:
Dr. Hathaway: That's a wonderful story, Bodie, I noticed you've stopped stuttering.
Bodie: I've been giving myself shock treatments, sir.
Dr. Hathaway: Up the voltage.