Funny / Real Genius

  • Chris Knight. There's a reason he's the guy on the DVD cover.
    Recruiter: You are Chris Knight, aren't you?
    Chris: I hope so. I'm wearing his underwear.
    • But they seem to get it later.
      Recruiter: Take care of (Chris). He's one of the ten finest young minds in the country.
      Chris: Someday, I hope to be two of them. (they both laugh)
    • "This? This is ice; this is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent; this is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated."
    • "What about that time I found (Kent) naked with that bowl of Jell-O?"
    • "Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of Sun God robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?... Why am I the only one who has that dream..?"
    • As they're about to use Kent's car for a prank:
      Chris: Kent puts his name on his license plate.
      Mitch: My mother does that to my underwear.
      Chris: Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?
    • "Self-realization; I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, 'I Drank What'?"
  • Chris meeting up with an incredibly cute girl (Susan) waiting at Hathaway's new house:
    Chris: If there's anything I can do for you, or more to the point TO you, just let me know.
    Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
    Chris: Not right now.
    Susan: A girl's gotta have her standards. (walks away grinning)
    • This leads to a hilarious call back later in the movie; when Chris visits Hathaway's house in the middle of the night after he successfully solves the laser problem, he sees that Hathaway and Susan are sleeping together. Chris gives Hathaway a sly grin, Hathaway merely shrugs nonchalantly.
      Chris: So, I guess you'll hammer later?
    • This is almost telegraphed when Chris first meets the woman. The joke itself is subtle, but given the fact that you may have already watched the film and know what happens later involving her and Dr. Hathaway...
      Chris: Listen, Jerry asked me to stop by; what'd he ask you to do?
  • Dr. Hathaway has his moments, given his disdain for pretty much everyone:
    Dr. Hathaway: That's a wonderful story, Bodie, I noticed you've stopped stuttering.
    Bodie: I've been giving myself shock treatments, sir.
    Dr. Hathaway: Up the voltage.
  • The whole bit with Kent and the "Messages from Jesus" in his braces. Especially the second time around with this exchange....
    Mitch as "God": ...Have you been playing with yourself?
    Kent: Yes...I mean, nooooo!...