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Funny: Real Genius
  • Chris Knight. There's a reason he's the guy on the DVD cover.
    Recruiter: You *are* Chris Knight, aren't you?
    Chris: I hope so. I'm wearing his underwear.
    • But they seem to get it later.
    Recruiter: Take care of (Chris). He's one of the ten finest young minds in the country.
    Chris: Someday, I hope to be two of them. (they both laugh)
    • "This? This is ice; this is what happens to water when it gets too cold. This? This is Kent; this is what happens to people when they get too sexually frustrated."
    • "What about that time I found (Kent) naked with that bowl of Jell-O?"
    • "Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of Sun God robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you?"
      • "Why am I the only one who has that dream..?"
    • As they're about to use Kent's car for a prank;
    Chris: Kent puts his name on his license plate.
    Mitch: My mother does that to my underwear.
    Chris: Your mother puts license plates in your underwear? How do you sit?
    • "Self-realization; I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, 'I Drank What?'?"
  • Chris meeting up with an incredibly cute girl (Susan) waiting at Hathaway's new house:
    Chris: If there's anything I can do for you, or more to the point TO you, just let me know.
    Susan: Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?
    Chris: At the moment, no.
    Susan: A girl's gotta have her standards. (walks away grinning)
  • Dr. Hathaway has his moments, given his disdain for pretty much everyone:
    Dr. Hathaway: That's a wonderful story, Bodie, I noticed you've stopped stuttering.
    Bodie: I've been giving myself shock treatments, sir.
    Dr. Hathaway: Up the voltage.

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