Funny / Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal

  • Ratchet's attempt to simulate the seductive dancing of robotic pop star Courtney Gears, ending with him making a kissy face at Clank.
  • Dr. Nefarious is about to unleash his ultimate doomsday weapon - only to accidentally activate a hologram of himself singing loudly and screechily off-key as Clank looks on in embarrassment. Seems Lawrence "accidentally" handed him a remote that shows his rehearsal for "Galactic Idol". If it were not for the subtitles, then the lyric would sound pretty silly.
    Nefarious Hologram: You are my robot lover! (You and I rule, ba-lum-bah!)
    • Which leads to present-day Nefarious, usually oblivious to Lawrence's misbehaviour, going into a screaming fit and punching Lawrence onto the ground.
  • Nefarious has led the heroes into a trap and activated the Leviathan's self-destruct mechanism:
    Dr. Nefarious: Lawrence, teleport us out of here!
    Lawrence: Of course, sir. [teleports himself away]
    Dr. Nefarious: Lawrence? [beat] THIS ISN'T FUNNY, LAWRENCE!
    [Nefarious is teleported away]
  • When Ratchet meets the Galactic President (who sounds exactly like Bill Clinton), they have this exchange:
    Galactic President: My daughter tells me you're a man who's good with his hands, Ratchet.
    Ratchet: Sir, I swear I NEVER—
  • Qwark's mission briefings. In particular the very beginning of the first one:
    Qwark: First, Ratchet and Clank will descend to the sea floor and wade through a series of tunnels flooded with waist-high raw sewage.
    Ratchet: WHAT??
    Qwark: Please hold your questions until the end of the presentation.
    • It's also hilarious to note that his mission briefings was a slide presentation that was hand-drawn... with crayons. It looked like a 4-year old did it.
  • Sometimes, when Nefarious gets too emotionally wound up, he'll short out, freeze in place, and his voice will be replaced with the broadcast of a Soap Opera. The only way to fix him is a blow to the head.
    Lawrence: [gleefully] Oh, this is the best part of my day!
  • Here's a jewel:
    Skrunch: *angry monkey babble*
    Qwark: I thought we agreed to put that jungle business behind us.
    Skrunch: *furious monkey screeching*
    Qwark: It was mating season! How was I supposed to know she was your sister? *notices Ratchet and Clank (Klunk) standing behind him* *nervous laugh* How long have you two been standing there?
    Klunk: Too long...
  • "One of Nature's Mysteries"
    Alien: I've seen him run right through our campin' site. He was butt naked, screamin', and holdin' a banan'r. Or maybe it weren't a banan'r. It could be
  • When you arrive at Holostar Studios to tape a Secret Agent Clank episode, Ratchet tries to activate the cloaking device on their ship, but accidentally ejects Clank, who lands on set. Then...
    Director: CUT! CUT! That's it! You've disgraced my set for the last time, kid! Take up basket weaving! You're fired! ...Get me the monkey.
  • We're treated to this exchange part way through:
    Skidd: Sasha and Qwark are meeting with the president, man, they left me in charge of the ship!
    Ratchet: WHAT?! I mean, I see... Well, is Al there?
    Skidd: He's out to lunch.
    Ratchet: Helga?
    Skidd: In the sauna!
    Clank: Qwark's monkey, perhaps?
  • Ratchet's attempt at a eulogy for Qwark, and Klunk making things difficult for him.
    Ratchet: Captain Qwark had so many, um, er... wonderful qualities, I just don't know where to begin...
    Klunk: Such as...?
  • The Biobliterator's sixty second destruction sequence:
    Dr. Nefarious: What?! That wasn't even CLOSE to sixty seconds!
  • Qwark and Nefarious' discussion about their school days.
    Qwark: Remember how I used to clean the chalk board with your pants... While you were still wearing them? Oh, good times...
    Nefarious: You were three times my size, you stupid oaf!
    Qwark: I was always big for my age.
    Nefarious: You were twenty-six!
  • The very end where Nefarious and Lawrence are trapped on an asteroid drifting through space, with the nearest planet reachable within a few thousand years. As Nefarious sulks, Lawrence plays a few riffs on his bass before looking inquisitively at Nefarious.
    Nefarious: Now what?
    Lawrence: I don't suppose you can play drums?
    Nefarious: !...LAW-RENCE!!!
  • The bridge of the Starship Phoenix, where the Q-Force officers ask each other random questions while sitting at their computers.
    Trooper: Officer Helga?
    Helga: Ja?
    Helga: Listen up you lardball! The answer is NO!
  • From Qwark Vid-Comic 4:
    Janice: The baby isn't yours.
    Lance: What? Who? Who is the father?
    Janice: Oh! Your evil twin brother, Englebert!
    Lance: But Janice... I AM Engelbert!
  • Skidd post-transformation apparently keeps his Surfer Dude talk, but in a robotic monotone.
    Robot!Skidd: Like, destroy all squishies. Dude.
  • The tense, long-awaited reunion between old nemeses:
    Qwark: Yeah, well Courtney Gears didn't seem to mind!
  • The trip to the Leviathan. You only see Qwark's ship traveling there, but this exchange takes place:
    Klunk: Shotgun!
    Qwark: Aargh!
    *various impact noises*
    Ratchet: Hey! Gah— what are you doing?
    Qwark: Move over, I'll drive!
    Ratchet: Uh, no thanks, I'd rather make it there in one piece.
    Qwark: Stand down soldier, this is your captain speaking!
    Ratchet: Captain my--
    *various cartoon impact noises, grunting throughout*
    Ratchet: Wait! No, don't sit on the flight stick!
    Qwark: Auuaaugh!
  • Ratchet finds out his Clank is actually an imposter:
    Ratchet: Look Clank, it's Dr. Nefarious! And that butler guy! And... they've got Clank! They're, uh, holding you prisoner! How about that?
    Klunk: *evil chuckle*
    Ratchet: I guess I should be feeling pretty stupid right now. I don't suppose there's any chance he's the evil Clank?
    Klunk: *another evil chuckle, as his eyes turn red*
    Ratchet: Yeah, didn't think so.
    • Having witnessed this, Nefarious almost lets loose with another Evil Laugh before he starts hacking, saying he's "been laughing so hard today, [my] sides ache!"
  • Clank is revealed to be able to translate Skrunch's monkey noises...
    Clank: He says you have ears like a Florana dung beaver. *chuckle*