Funny: Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja
Warning: This page features a ton of moments that are guaranteed to leave you laughing. Read at your own risk.
- Randy wrote a rather interesting essay◊ in the pilot episode. For those of you who have a hard time reading his handwriting, this is what he wrote.
I spent most of my summer playing Grave Puncher with my BFF (Best Friend Forever) Howard. We beat the first game in seven days. Then we immediately gripped open Grave Puncher 2: Punchocalypse. We beat GP2 (Grave Puncher 2) in (a record breaking) five days, then we immediately moved on to the much anticipated sequel to Grave Punchers 2: Punchocalypse, Grave Punchers 3: Live and Let Punch (aka: GP3). Honestly, it was the most epic awesome game ever made. We beat the game (GP3) in four days. Seriously! Four days!!! And then we beat it six more times in any difficult levels ever existed. Seriously, we even beat the game on the super dupper impossible mode in three days.
And the day after that, something even Epic-er happened!!! So I had the most delicious burger for lunch. I decided to go to my room and sharpen up my mathematics skills. I found a box sitting on my awesome table. I found the "NINJANOMICON" in the box. And of course the ninja mask. I was like, "Oh, my sweeeeeeeet!" Randy Cunningham is the NINJA. I am the NINJA!!!
The sucky part part is that I can't tell anyone not even my BFF Howard! Not becoz he has a big mouth and he will tell anyone. I mean I trust Howard that he won't tell a soul about any of my secrets. But there was a note in the box saying that "I can't tell anyone" which sucks.
Mr. Bannister: What's this supposed to be?Randy: Uh... my commentary on the fleeting nature of summer?Mr. Bannister: Mm... Excellent use of metaphor.Randy: Aced it!Mr. Bannister: I'll give you a B.Randy: B-CED IT!
- When he realized he wrote a whole essay about him being the Ninja, he rips it to shreds moments before his teacher could collect it.
"Ah. Believe in the weapon that is in the suit. That makes way more sense."
- Also from the pilot episode, Randy takes his first trip into the Nomicon to ask it for help fighting the Monster of the Week, and its response is "Believe in the weapon that is in the suit". What makes this funny is that Randy immediately assumes it's a Stock Aesop about believing in himself - until halfway through the fight, he starts rummaging through the ninja suit and finds a huge sword.
- In "Got Stank", Howard and Randy are wearing nothing but speedos. Don't ask. A monster starts attacking, and you just know Randy's about to go Ninja. Where'd he keep the mask? Inside the speedo.
Howard: Cunningham, you're my best friend, but as long as you're sporting that geek gear (the marching band uniform) I cannot be seen with you. Gimme your word you'll stay in here ten seconds after I leave.Randy: You have my word.Howard: Good. Oh, one more thing...Howard farts in the locker, then runs away laughing.Randy: Not cool, man! That is NOT cool!
- When Randy joins the marching band, again, don't ask, Howard shoves Randy and himself into a locker so they could talk...
- In "Monster Dump", Bucky worries that Randy is still in danger, while Randy (as The Ninja) assures him that he's okay. Bucky ruins this by saying without Randy (who is his field trip partner) he's going to get detention.
- In "So U Think U Can Stank", Howard is supposed to be the mean judge. His first review?
"Loved it. 'Yo bros', yo' in the talent show!"
- From "Gossip Boy", where Howard says he constantly gets a commercial jingle in his head.
Howard: Whenever I hear it, I can't think of anything else![Randy gets a smug look on his face. Howard knows what he's up to.]Howard: Don't you do it...Randy: [singing the jingle] Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, Whoopee! Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, Whoopee! Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, Whoopee! Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, Whoopee![Howard runs off screaming.]
McFist: I suppose you're wondering why we brought you here.Howard: Uhh, 'cause I said I know who The Ninja is?McFist:... Okay... But, you must be wondering how we're going to let you tell us!Howard: By torturing me?McFist: BY TORTURING YOU!Viceroy: That's what he said.McFist: I KNOW THAT!
- Howard getting in a limo, only for Randy to point out he doesn't have a limo.
Howard: It occurs to me I don't have a limo.
- During "Night of the Living McFizzles", Randy sends both Theresa and Howard away so he can fight the zombies, only to realize his mask is with Howard.
- Then there's this bit at the end:
Theresa: It's raining McFizzles!Debbie Kang: You don't think anybody would be stupid enough to eat them now... right?(Howard starts to eat them)Randy: Agh, Howard! Seriously?!Howard: Oh, I'm suppose to say no to free— (turns into a zombie) Candy!
- Heidi inserting a shameless plug-in about McFizzles before eating a bag. The screen fizzes out, with a "We Are Now Having Technical Difficulties" screen and the shadow of zombies in the background.
- Then there's this bit at the end:
- "McFists of Fury" gives us this wonderful exchange:
McFist: Sometimes I amaze even myself! Now, what kind of power should I ask for?McFist: When would I ever use that?
- "Viva El Nomicon" gives us Randy and Howard's Spanish report, which is just names of Mexican food strung together.
- The entire "free the chicken" scene from "Monster Drill".
- In "Stank'd to the Future", Randy needs to use one of the bathroom stalls for going into the Nomicon. The kicker? Just look at the page image.
- The flashback to what the Sorcerer was doing back in the 80's. Turns out, sitting just like his was in the present. Except for another rat (not the same one we usually see) dancing like Michael Jackson.
- When Randy accidentally breaks his sword, his first idea is to repair it himself. Needless to say, it wasn't his best work.◊
- "...the greatest video game since I Don't Know When..."
McFist: "What the juice is 7D?"
- One of the Robo-Apes' response to seeing The Ninja in a Robo-Ape disguise:
Robo-Ape: Why are you wearing Larry?
- Then afterward Viceroy telling McFist that both Marcy and The Sorcerer are calling.
McFist: Give me whoever sounds less mad. (Cue The Sorcerer screaming so loud he breaks all the windows in McFist's building)
- Then afterward Viceroy telling McFist that both Marcy and The Sorcerer are calling.
- This bit:
Randy: Ninja Rotating-Table-Slide!
- When Randy (trying to tell the Robo-Apes to hold their strike until the rollercoaster) by asking them how bad McFist is, you could almost taste McFist coming in to make things worse.
- In "Silent Punch, Deadly Punch", Randy has to gather sap from an 800-year-old sacred ninja tree called the Skunk Pine, which is very aptly named...
Randy: Oh, it's awful! But sacred - sacredly awful!
- Later on, McFist steals the tree to use as a Christmas tree, as Marci asked him to cut down the tallest tree in the forest. So he cut down an 800-year-old, sacred tree to use as a decoration for his company party...and Randy didn't see that coming, despite all the other despicable things McFist has been involved in by that point.
- Pretty much any time Randy opens the Nomicon. He often ends up drooling or Amusing Injuries follow.
- Randy getting freaked out by chickens and spouting chicken facts.
- Howard's Something Something Leonard Bernstein attempt at singing the theme song when he dons the Ninja Suit.
- In "Swampy Seconds", Randy and Howard's casual phone call with the former chained to the front of a car and the latter about to be swallowed by quicksand.
"Mister Bagel jus' sacrificed hisself for you. Dat was very noble. And stupid."
- Catfish Booray's response to Randy's apparent Heroic Sacrifice (saving Howard from being eaten by one of Catfish's many thralled animals) is also pretty hilarious:
- Despite being animated and all, this doesn't save Randy from Crash and Pranksgiving.
- Catfish's price for the identity of the Ninja? The latest McFistpad.
- Howard making Jack Hammer do his victory dance.
- In the same episode, McFist and Viceroy hug each other while squealing and jumping up and down.
- When Randy is forced to repair McFist's reputation and the guy still says that he's going to destroy The Ninja, Randy gets him back by telling the town that McFist is giving away free McFistpads, which will cost him a fortune.
- In "Randy Cunningham: 13th Century Ninja", we discover the First Ninja has a squire, who also served as a counterpart to Howard. His name is Plop Plop. When Randy and Howard make fun of him, Plop Plop counters by pointing out Howard is a girl's name. Randy laughs at that fact and Howard punches him.
- Also in that episode, after Randy and Howard took the Time Machine to the 13th century, McFist asked where did the machine go and Viceroy said it wasn't a matter of "where" but "when". After McFist asked when it went, Viceroy said it had just left a few seconds ago and asked if McFist didn't see that.
- "Flume-Igation" has the Shark-Dermanator, a humongous Kaijuu that exists in a perpetual state of flaky-skinned agony that takes breaks from destroying Norrisville and trying to kill Viceroy and McFist for its sorry state in order to scratch its highly irritable carapace.
- Randy lengthily entertaining the idea of simply allowing the Shark-Dermanator to kill Viceroy and McFist, thus ridding himself of two of his enemies.
- McFist swears revenge on the Ninja...for saving his life and placating the Shark-Dermanator.
- During "On the Poolfront", Howard reveals that the water the inflatable pool he and Randy have been swimming in is actually Weinerman sweat.
- Mort Weinerman's abysmal killer robot that can barely stand, much less move around. When Randy has to take a dive against it to make sure Mort keeps his promotion long enough for Howard's new pool to be installed, it takes a huge amount of effort to make it happen.
- McFist has implemented "McNinja Tours" to profit from Randy's efforts to protect the town.
- Randy's fight with the Polar Bear-Bot. It ends with the exhausted, heat stroke-ridden cyborg collapsing and exploding into Ludicrous Gibs due to how hot it is.
- Howard's booger story. Which is so nasty, it's used to make Catfish Booray cough up the Power Orb.
- The one thing Randy never told Howard in "Welcome Back, Catfish!": He finds Heidi to be attractive on occasion. Mostly for her accessories and voice.
- One of the things that Debbie Kang's articles "ruined" was a two-day school week.
- Viceroy managing to weaponize frozen soup to make it cost effective. Even he seems embarrassed about how much of an Epic Fail it is.
- Randy's insistence that the pink bag he's using to carry the Power Ball in is not a purse. No one believes him.
- Randy missing his Nomicon lesson by such a long shot that the Nomicon facepalms at his idiocy.
Randy: Clarinet player. I think it was Claire. Or was it Anette?Rachel: My name is Rachel!Randy: Rachel! Nah, that can't be right...
- Randy being unable to remember the name of a band girl as he attempts to rescue her from a Yandere Flute Girl, even after she tells him what it is.
- Randy and Howard's respective reactions to the bologna baby in "M-M-M-My Bologna"; Randy decides that Mrs. Driscoll has finally lost it...and Howard immediately decides that the 'baby's' name is Sylvester Bologne.
Howard: We can call him Sly for short!
Randy has just come back from a ninja fight. He sees Howard in a diaper and bursts out laughing.Howard: You left. I got this, and you left!Randy: You're wearing a diaper!Howard: To prove to you I'm mature enough to take care of our bologna baby!Randy: [hysterical] YOU'RE WEARING A DIAPER! [falls down laughing]
- Then later, Howard is trying to put a diaper on the bologna, but he has to put one on himself first, so that he could remember how to do it.
- Randy's repeated failure to tell Bucky he hates the song he wrote for him (as the Ninja) in "Everybody Ninj-along":
Bucky: You like it, riiiiiight?Randy: ...Sure. That's an option.(Later)Randy: ...I don't like it.[Bucky looks heartbroken]Randy: I looooove it!Bucky: You do?Randy: That appears to be what I said!
- "Fudge Factory" is mostly about Randy being a terrible liar, which leads to a priceless moment when he's trying to convince a waiter that it's his birthday...so the waiter asks him what the date is.
Randy: *hyperventilating* It's the 34th of Octebruary, right?! Everyone knows that!
- "Shoot First, Ask Questions Laser" once again answers the question of whether our heroes have to be good people when Randy and Howard set up a scheme to hustle prize tickets:
Randy: (after their first victory) I feel terrible...that we didn't come up with this sooner!(Later)Randy: Are we being greedy? Maybe we should stop...beat*Randy and Howard burst out laughing*
- In "Happy Hanukkah Howard Weinerman", McFist has some flashbacks about the previous gifts he gave Marci for Hanukkah and Christmas. Last year he gave her a riding lawn mower so she wouldn't have to push, the previous year, he gave her a lawn mower, and the year before that, he gave her some grass seeds to grow a lawn. Also, each year Bash somehow ruins it such as using the mowers to cut half the Christmas tree.
- The short argument between Howard and Randy in "Ninjeception":
[A monster just grabbed the Sorcerer's Powerball that Randy had]Howard: [sarcastic] Good job! You let him get the ball!Randy: Was that sarcastic?!Howard: Did it SOUND sarcastic?!Randy: Well, THAT sounded sarcastic!
- With McFist and Marci out of town, Randy and Howard decide to do some exploring despite the Nomicon's lesson of the day being "Don't Go in Someone Else's House". Randy misinterpreted as permission to enter McFist's mansion, and the Nomicon as a crayon-drawn ninja facepalms and slaps Randy back into reality. Later, Howard is not impressed by how badly Randy misunderstood the Nomicon's lesson.
Howard: Maybe you should run this wisdom by me first.
- Viceroy catches them but it turns out he shouldn't be there as well so all of them agree to keep it a secret. When Randy asks him for the security tapes (not only because of their invasion but also because the cameras recorded his secret identity), Viceroy says he had already disabled the cameras since it's not his first rodeo.
- McFist's recorded message for when people ring his doorbell. He informs visitors his whereabouts and fails to notice he didn't erase that part.
- Viceroy wearing Hannibal's robes and Marci's slippers.