Funny: Predator


  • "CIA got you pushing too many pencils?"
  • Everything in the helicopter insertion at the start.
    • Like this dialogue:
    Blain: Bunch of slack-jawed faggots around here, this stuff'll make you a Goddamn sexual Tyrannosaurus - just like me!
    Poncho: (showing his gun) Then strap this on your sore ass, Blain.
    (Billy laughs)
  • "I ain't got time to bleed!" "You got time to duck?!"
  • After setting up traps for the Predator, the team is hiding in the bushes waiting for it. After waiting too long and startled by a bird, Dillion says to Dutch, "What you gonna try next, cheese?" Dutch gives him a mean stare and Dillion just rolls his eyes.
  • Mac killed a wild boar, thinking it was the Predator.
    Dillion: Jesus, you killed a pig!
    Poncho: What the..? You think you could have found something bigger?
    (Billy laughs)
    Mac: Fuck you, Poncho! Fuck you!
  • "Long Tall Sally. She's build sweet. She's got everything just like the Chinese! I'm gonna have me some fun. I'm gonna have me some fun. I'm gonna have me some fun."
  • "You are one ugly motherfucker."
    • Helped along by the Predator's reaction - given the way he roars back at Dutch, you'd almost think he understood the insult.

Predator 2

  • When Harrigan is chasing the Predator.
    Harrigan: It's all right! I'm a cop!
    Old woman: I don't think he gives a shit!
  • An awesome Badass Boast if I ever hear one.
    Harrigan: Okay, who's next?
  • "OK pussyface, it's your move."
  • "Mom, I saw a ghost!"
  • The Predator's down, so Harrigan creeps up and proceeds to unmask it. Naturally, he has the same reaction as Dutch did in the first movie, but is interrupted mid-quote.
    Harrigan: You're one ugly—
    (Predator wakes up and grabs him by the throat)
    Predator: Motherfucker!
  • In the meat warehouse, when Keyes and his team are stalking the Predator, it switches its vision from infrared to ultraviolet, allowing him to see the soldiers. Once it sees them, it makes a noise that almost sounds like, "WHOA!"
  • As the Predator attempts to patch itself up in a bathroom in agony, the owner of the apartment (an elderly woman) creeps up with a broom. After stabbing itself in the gut (ostensibly to retrieve a bullet) the Predator roars in pain, crashes through the bathroom wall and runs out of the apartment, leaving the woman in shock as Harrigan stumbles in...
    Harrigan: (gasping) it's OK, I'm a cop!
    Owner: I don't think he gives a shit!


  • Stans is... pretty far from heroic, but he is the source of most of the funniest moments in the film.
    • After being startled by a flying bird... thing, everyone pulls out their guns...except Stans:
    *Pulls out a shiv, looks at the others* "You know what? This is bullshit! I want a fucking gun! *turns to Cuchillo* C'mon man, gimme a gun! You've got two fucking guns! *turns to Nikolai* C'mon Russian, you've got a big fucking gun!
    • Later:
    "When I get back... I am gonna do so much fucking cocaine."
    • Edwin's nonchalant agreement with what Stans says next only makes it funnier.
    • Edwin points out a tattoo of a naked woman on Stans:
    Edwin: "Is that your girlfriend?"
    Stans: "No. My sister."
  • Edwin gets the best line in the whole movie. After being used as bait to try and lure one of the Predators into a trap (i.e., letting him be chased through the forest), he stops, catches his breath, and bellows:
    Edwin: FUCK! ALL OF YOU!