Funny / Potter Puppet Pals

  • Cool Ron in "The Vortex"
    Now let's have a beach party. In. London.
  • Harry in "Wizard Angst" banging his head against the wall repeating "Angst, angst, angst."
    • "What. Is this. Rumpus?!"
    • "... Why must you hurt me in this way, Harry?"
    • "Ron invaded my personal bubble".
  • "Voldemort. Voldemort. Ooh Voldy, Voldy, Voldy, Voldemort!" * da da da da da... dum...*
  • "Look! It's a giant furry mattress! May I jump on it?" "Yes, do as you wish, you diseased child."
  • "It's naked time!"
  • "I mean everything I've ever said, ever. Because I'm. Harry. Potter." *cue lightning strike*
  • Ron's plan in "Trouble at Hogwarts" for defeating Voldemort, which involves gunning down Voldemort with Uzis.
  • "Snape, Snape, Severus Snape..." "DUMBLEDORE!"
    • Heerrrmione!!!!!!!!!!
    • "Harry Potter! Harry Potter! YEAH!"
  • I've found the source of the ticking! It's a pipe bomb! Yaaaaaaaaay! KABOOM!!!
  • BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER BOTHER!
  • The Elder Swear.
    • Here you go: Your mother is a ____ing_____lorem ipsum___admittum venium____tragula____hippopotamus____Republican____and Daniel Radcliffe____with a bucket of_____in a castle far away where no one can hear you____soup____with a bucket of____Mickey Mouse____a stick of dynamite____magical____ALAKAZA­M!!!
  • "I asked her to dance, she asked me to die. Would that I could, Lily... would that I could..." "My mum was awesome!"
  • "I hope you find your button, Snape." "So do I orange one, so do I." "...I like buttons!"
  • The main trio's reaction to Snape's new mustache in "Mustache Buddies".
    • Snape's reaction to Voldemort's proposal of the mustache.
  • "Does it feel nice, Ron?! I bet it feels nice."
  • The way they say "No!" to a Draco Malfoy puppet.
  • "Dear Mr. and Mrs. my parants."
  • "Your grandmother is a blast-ended skank!" Cue a long gasp from Neville.
  • Harry realizing that Ron and Ginny look exactly like each other in "Ginny" after Ginny gets a haircut.
    Harry: holds wand against his head like a gun* Well, Avada Kedavra!
  • Dobby's Sock!
  • From "Neville's Birthday": "What the slash-fic?" Also, naked!Dumbledore popping out of Neville's cake.
  • Neville guilt-tripping Harry and friends into playing "Walk in Circles", plus the part where they succumb.
    (while Neville cheers) Walk in circles! Walk in circles! Walk in circles 'round the birthday boy!
    • Neville self-destruct!
      • "He just wanted to be your friend, and you exploded him."
  • Drunk Snape.
    • "It's my birthday? I didn't get myself anything. Oh, noooo..."
    • "It's just a cake."
  • In "School is for Losers", Harry punches Snape with an actual human fist, and proceeds to play saxophone before the background changes and displays "Harry Potter is awesome".
  • Pretty much anything that comes out of Hagrid's mouth.
    • "I still keep mah placenta in da shack."
    • "Got 'em a dead pig."
  • Cedric... the foot.
  • Neville's birthday cake. Thanks. Dumbledore.
    Harry: "The cake is tainted. Literally tainted."
  • "Someone BEAT ME UP and RANSACKED my room!"
  • The last minute of "Apparate!" where Harry's frivolous use of Apparating goes horribly wrong. Made even funnier with Hermione walking in while Harry's panicking and immediately turning around and walking out.
    • Harry Potter in Japan. [cue sparkly anime eyes] So kawaii!
    • Harry Potter on a farm. Yea, why not.
    • Harry Potter in space. Feelin' great!
    • At one point, Harry apparates to the same spot he's standing in. Hermione asks if that's exactly what he did, and he replies with a "Yes" with absolutely no shame in his voice.
    • Snape: (fused with Ron and Harry as Hermione walks into the room) Hermione, please help me! (Hermione quickly walks out)
  • Harry's introduction to "Harry's Nightmares."
    I have seen some shit.
  • Ron trapped in the vortex. "I think I'm going through puberty!"
  • Harry introducing the new Puppet Pals channel, offhandedly mentioning the Sesame Street Riots.
    Harry: Come join us, as we take control of our lives and endeavor to destroy humanity!
    Hermione: (In an extremely bored tone) We're not destroying humanity.
  • Snape's Potion Class, where he gives a long monologue about all the mystical properties that potions and elixrs can bestow. And then ends it by mentioning how it can help pick up chicks before dismissing the class. Harry pauses and asks Snape to teach him. He says no. It feels a lot like Snape was just trolling Harry.
  • Harry's immediate response to Dumbledore in "Neville's Birthday"
    Dumbledore: May I have your attention please?
    Harry: YOU CAN HAVE MY FIRST IN YOUR FACE! I'm sorry Dumbledore, go on.
  • The Reveal in "Wizard Lice" that Dumbledore is an android. A gay android.
  • Dumbledore got Neville a magic yo-yo that wards away girls.
  • This epic Gilligan Cut:
    Harry: At least [the party] it's not for three hours!
    (cut to them at the party)
    Harry: I need to stop taking my three hour naps!
  • "Mr. Potter, you haven't to potions class in two weeks. What are your college plans?!"
  • "We're almost half way there!" "FUCK!"
  • Ron's attempts to defeat Voldemort in "Wizard Angst".
  • The one time the Wesley family's poverty is brought up:
    Nice song Hagrid! But I can't afford mayonnaise!
    • The sound Hagrid responds with, which is similar to someone gargling.
  • According to Harry, Ron's scalp was filthy before the lice got to it.
  • Snape is apparently really good at impersonations. Dumbledore is freaked out by it.
    Snape: You know. (dead-on impersonation of Ron) I'm Ron Weasley, Harry Potter's best friend. Hee hee hee hee!
    Dumbledore: Wow Snape! That's really creepy. I mean really creepy. And I run a school that's haunted. Never do that again.
    Snape: (very softly) I'm sorry.
  • "I found something sticky in the woods! Smell my finger and tell me where Ron is!"
  • When Hermione finds out that Voldemort kidnapped Ron the first thing she says is, "What does he want with Ron? Ron is useless."
  • Harry, defending the ever-befuddled Ron, prepares to "take care" of Lord Voldemort:
    Harry: Stand back Ron, I'll take care of this.
  • Voldemort yelling at Harry, Ron, and Hermione over the phone in "Wizard Swears".
  • This gem from "Neville's Birthday":
    Harry: Where's the wizard booze?
    Neville: (gasp) We're not old enough to drink grown-up water, Harry! My grandmother-
    Harry: I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER! I'M HARRY POTTER!
    • Harry and Hermione note how everyone in Hogwarts is at the party, like Cedric Diggory, and... Ron.
    Harry: Small world.
  • "The Vortex":
    • The episode kicks off with Snape describing a pretty messed-up dream he had the other night. Dumbledore then tells him about a dream he had about being a pig on a farm, complete with sound effects. Snape tries to tell Dumbledore the mental scars the dream gave him, only to be inevitably ignored and interrupted.
    • Dumbledore and his old friend, "the Problem Stick".
  • This exchange in "Snape's Diary" after a passage mentioning prunes:
    Ron: I like prunes!
    Dumbledore: (coming out of nowhere, naked) Did somebody say prunes?
    Ron: I said prunes! How did he know?
    Dumbledore: So what are you students up to? Studying for your classes?
    Harry: Actually, we're reading from Professor Snape's private diary that we stole from his room!
    (beat)
    Harry: Afraid not, Professor.

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