- The pirates are generally a goldmine of comedy in terms of their ineptitude. The best, however, may be when a radio announcer relays a message the pirates leave for Porco after a successful heist.
Pirate Chief: We're comin' for ya..
Pirates: ...PORCO ROSSO! [They fall over on top of each other] Ow! Ack! Argh! Get off me!
- The sign above Piccolo's (Porco's engineer) desk reads (in Italian): NON SI FO CREDITO. No credit.
- (After Porco and Fio got Curtis to pay Porco's massive repair bill)
Fio: Porco! I screwed up!
Fio: We should have padded the bill!
Porco (grinning): You're right!
- Pretty much the entire scene involving the schoolgirl hostages is funny given the fact that a bunch of bad-tempered criminals are forcibly restraining their tempers for the sake of a dozen 6-year-old girls, and also being criticized by the girls at every turn. However, the crowning moment is when Porco is forced to tow the girls back to the ship on a plane in the ocean with a crapped-out engine. The girls, having jumped overboard after the pirate plane crashed, begin running around in their underwear, their wet clothes strung up between the planes wings and engine.
Porco: Hey, quit running! Settle down! Put- put your clothes back on!
- This casual exchange between Piccolo and Porco, as Fio runs around working on the plane repairs.
Piccolo: You like my granddaughter?
Porco: She's alright.
Piccolo: You keep your hands off of her!
Porco: Don't worry. Just watching her makes me tired.
- The scene where Piccolo rattles off names of his female relatives who have come to work on Porco's new plane is a gem, particularly in how Porco gets more and more uncomfortable as the scene goes on, and how he finishes the list with "and the three old hags showed up."