Funny: Police Academy
- "DROP THAT STEREO BEFORE I BLOW YOUR GODDAMN NUTS OFF, ASSHOLE!!!"
- "Tackleberry, we really need to talk."
- Poor Tackleberry misses out on the riot, and throws a fit.
Lassard: (watches Tackleberry curiously) What's wrong with this man?Barbara: Well there was gunplay, sir, and he missed it.
- Poor Blankes and Copeland try to escape some rioters, and end up in the Blue Oyster, again!
- Harris and the horse.
- Next scene:
- Tackleberry taunting Leslie to punch him in the gut, Leslie slaps him in the face instead. Tack looks positively shell-shocked.
- Larvell Jones using his vocal sound effects to various degrees, from 'playing' an arcade video game to imitating the sound of machine gun fire. This technically counts for all the Police Academy movies, especially when he uses this to troll almost anyone with, in particular Harris and Mauser.
- The entire scene with Lassard having to give a speech while simultaneously receiving the attentions of a call girl is sidesplitting.
Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment
- Sweetchuck, before becoming a cadet, owns a shop in the worst part of the city. He locks up the store with vary of stuff, but most notable is a bear trap for the back exit and tops its off with an electrical barb wired gate.
- This classic gem:
Tackleberry: Mahoney, I'm a virgin![Sees the entire bar he and Mahoney were in start to stare at him]Tackleberry: You people go about your business before I crack some skulls!
- What exactly happens when Mauser uses epoxy instead of shampoo.
Mauser: Can anyone explain to me how this happened? *holds up hands, covered in his own cemented hair*Mahoney: Yes sir, I can, and if you don't stop doing that you could go blind.
- The horrified look on Tackleberry's face while he watches Kirkland's father and brother bare-knuckle box each other.
Police Academy 3: Back in Training
- Zed making Sweetchuck's time at the academy miserable.
Zed: You wanna borrow my shampoo?
- Zed scares Sweetchuck with his flashlight, then shines it on his face.
- Zed holding a tube of his shampoo in a way like he's holding a knife while Sweetchuck is in the shower.
- "Listen, the busboys are shoo—" [a gun points at his nose] "--ting my nose."
- Proctor screaming in pain when the elevator closed.
- Proctor holding the mirror in front of Mauser in different directions, similar to the scene in Police Academy 2.
Proctor: Look at this. Look at this angle. Look it at this angle. All angle-
Mauser: I CAN'T SEE!!
Proctor: (giving him the mirror) It's yours!
Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol
- The scene where the inmates trick Proctor into releasing them, under the pretense that they are playing Simon Says:
Inmate: Simon says take two steps back!
[Proctor does so]
Inmate: Now put your hands up!
Proctor: Simon didn't say!
Another inmate: [puts his gun to Proctor's head] But Smith & Wesson did.
- "DON'T TOUCH THOSE! DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH MY BALLS WITHOUT ASKING!"
- In one of the pranks Mahoney pulls on Proctor, the former waits until the latter has entered a port-a-potty and has it hooked to a crane, and dropped in the middle of a crowded football stadium. Afterwards, the bottom bolts get unscrewed and the shell of the port-a-potty is pulled off, revealing Proctor sitting on the toilet in full sight of everyone. To cap it off, when the Star-Spangled Banner starts playing, he stands up and puts his hand over his heart. Without even considering pulling up his pants first.
- Proctor squees about a gang of ninjas in what appears to be a throwaway gag. Turns out there really is a gang on ninjas locked in the cells.
- The amazonian Callahan jumping into the pool to simulate a drowning victim in need of rescue, which also shows that she isnt wearing a bra under her now very wet and translucent shirt, then asks who wants to rescue her. Every single male cadet pool side jumps in after her.
Police Academy 5: Assignment-Miami Beach
- Sugar, the fat jewel thief, is eating a jelly doughnut, accidentally squirts one of the other two jewel thieves in the face.
Mouse: Egh, you squirted me with the donut, you moron!
Tony: [hitting him with a map] You are disgusting! You're such a pig!
Sugar: Boss, I'm sorry!
- Harris and Proctor's "private plane".
Proctor: This is great! Our very own airplane! Animals to play with!
Harris: Proctor, why do I put up with you?
Proctor: Because my sister married your nephew. So that makes us-
Harris: Shut up, Proctor! (three chickens jump down at him, in a row)
Proctor: I think they like you!
- Sugar farted in the elevator, with the other crooks and hostage Lassard still inside.
Sugar: What? WHAT?!
- Proctor throws an unconscious Harris to the ground in anger for the thieves' escape.
- Lassard accidently dropping golf balls from an open side pocket in his golf bag all over the airport terminal, causing quite a bit of pratfalls.
- The three thieves breaking into the museum, with Sugar descending his rope too quickly.
Police Academy 6: City Under Siege
- Fackler playing pool. He hits one guy in the head with a ball, hits another guy in the groin with the cue stick, and hits another guy with it in the head.
Fackler: Its okay if you guys are tired. I'll shoot again.
- This dialogue:
- The cadets seeing two Commissioner Hursts.
Fake Hurst: That man is an imposter!
Real Hurst: Me? No! He's the imposter!
Harris: (and Proctor walks up to the Fake Hurst) Move it! Move it! Commissioner Hurst! These people have violated their suspensions, and I demand that they'd be brought up on charges!
Real Hurst: Oh Harris, shut up!
(Harris and Proctor looked behind them)
Fake Hurst: Oh shut up, Harris!
(Then quickly looks back)
- Two of the Wilson Heights gang members get behind the car Harris and Proctor are in, sticking their tongues and making faces.
Harris: I have a sixth sense-
Harris: Will you let me finish? I have a sixth sense-
Proctor: But sir-
Harris: Will you let me finish? I have a sixth sense when it comes to-
Proctor: But sir-
Harris: Stop interrupting me! I have a sixth sense when it comes to crime!
(one of the gang members stick a raccoon tail on the car antenna and both wave good-bye. Proctor waves back)
Officer: You mean you were here during the robbery?
Harris: No, of course not!
Proctor: Yeah we were sir, they came and went just a few minutes ago. [overlapping with Harris] I tried to tell you. Don't you remember, when we were inside the car?
Harris: [overlapping with Proctor] Shut up, Proctor. Shut up, Proctor. Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up...
Harris: SHUT UP!
- Harris is stuck in the hole and has to run at the truck's speed, Flintstones-style.
Proctor: You know, running is the best form of an aerobic exercise.
- This scene tops it all.
Hearst: Thank you for your... contribution, Captain Harris.
- Proctor picks up passengers while chasing after the Mastermind.
Harris: What... are you... doing!?
Proctor: I'm picking up passengers.
Proctor: (takes a paper down) I have to, sir. They're on my route.
(crumples the paper and throws it to the ground)
- And then the final passenger to get off the bus is a little girl, who tells Proctor that he's much better than the regular driver, to Proctor's delight.
- When Lassard and Fackler go inside a Bad-Guy Bar, many of the patrons threw their weapons and stolen wallets over the counter. Then three guys ran out of the bar.