Funny / Planescape: Torment

  • Morte. About half the time he opens his jaw.
    Morte: Women are the reason I became a monk. And, uh, the reason I switched back.
    His taunts are funny enough that you sometimes don't care how repetitive they can get. "You're a perfectly good waste of arms and legs" and, "You've got a face only a sledgehammer could love...and *has*" are prime examples.
    • The entire scene where Morte first equips Ingress' Teeth. You have to see it to believe it.note 
  • Nordom, due to being The Comically Serious and a bit of a Cloudcuckoolander, brings a lot of entertaining moments.
  • Vrischika describing the Sword of Wh'ynn:note 
    Vrischika: It's also known as the Cheater's Blade. Merely holding it aloft will win you the game.
    Nameless One: Win me the... what do you mean?
    Vrischika: [Narrowing her eyes] Oh come now, you know exactly what I mean. Buy the Cheater's Blade, you beat the game. It's that simple...
  • The Brothel Of Slaking Intellectual Lusts, which is a brothel where there is no sex, just discussions and playing games.
    • Luis, the armoire in said brothel. Who is most certainly not there for any prurient reasons, no sirree.
  • Just before going to the Very Definitely Final Dungeon, you have to write a regret on a piece of your skin. You can regret that your friends have come to suffer, or regret that there WASN'T enough suffering, you can regret that you have no regrets to write on the skin... or alternatively, you can go for something else - I regret that I wandered all over the Planes when the damn portal was right here when I FIRST woke up.
  • Morte's line if you try to give him a weapon.
  • The Nameless One playing with the Modron Cube like a little kid.
    Nameless One: Move the arms and make sword-fighting noises.
    The toy *clicks* and *whirrs* as your move its clockwork joints. Within moments, the tiny cube has vanquished every imaginary opponent you have sent against it, and settled back to its normal position.
    Nameless One: Wave its arms and make cheering noises.
    Hordes of imaginary creatures from across the Planes cheer the cube's victory. You can almost see a tiny oily tear brimming on one of its eyes... it is a hero, the greatest cube to ever roam the Planes and everyone loves it. In your mind, Fall-From-Grace and Annah hug it and shower it with kisses.
    • Do this enough and your alignment shifts towards Chaotic, because you're being that silly.
  • You can let Marta conduct an autopsy on you. You're still conscious (for a while) and there's no anaesthesia. The game describes in disturbing detail the procedure before The Nameless one finally passes out.
    • Part of what makes it funny is Morte lampshading how stupid it is to let some strange woman dig around your insides.
    • Taken to its logical extreme when you ask Marta to crack open your skull. This one actually gets noted in the journal:
      "I ordered Marta to look into my skull if there was anything inside. There wasn't."
  • Just about everything involving Fhjull Fork-Tongue. He's under a curse to do charity, which as a greater baatezu is something he hates. And he's not remotely afraid to share with you just how unhappy he is over this. It makes you a little more evil each time you do it, but getting him to give you the magic items and spells he's collected is still damned funny.