Funny / Planes, Trains and Automobiles

  • Neal's passive-aggressive tirade against a rental car agent, after he finally reaches his Rage Breaking Point and begins unloading three days worth of anger on her, making sure to include every conceivable variation of the word "fuck" at every opportunity (this, by the way, is the only reason the film has an R rating). Upon telling her that he threw his receipt away, she gives him the single most appropriate two-word response: "You're fucked."
  • After being forced to share a bed, Neal and Del wake up in a position that no two straight men should ever find themselves waking up in. (They both were simultaneously dreaming about being back home with their wives). There's a reason the special edition DVD is called The "Those Aren't Pillows" Edition.
  • The scene where the duo's car ends up running the gauntlet between two oncoming semi-trucks at freeway speed.
    • And following that, the scene where the car catches fire, which they're laughing about, and the dialogue between Neal and Del about Neal's credit card:
    Neal: How could you rent the thing without a credit card anyway? I mean you could but how could you?
    Del: Oh I gave this gal behind the counter a set of shower curtain rings. (laughs)
    Neal: (stops laughing immediately) You can't rent a car with shower curtain rings, Del.
    Del: (stops laughing) Well, uh, somehow your diner's club card wound up in my wallet and I just...
    Neal: You STOLE it!
    Del: Not exactly.
    Neal: You stole it! I knew you stole it. You stole the card and then you rented a car and you burned it up! I knew you stole it.
    Del: No I didn't! I found it in my wallet! I thought maybe you put it there.
    Del: Kindness?
    Neal: KINDNESS?! KINDNESS?! You stole it! He stole it!
    Del: No I didn't! No I didn't! I was gonna send it back to you! With whatever the rental car charge was, plus interest! But you didn't give me your address. What was I supposed to do? You just ditched me! I had no money, I had no cards, I had nothing!
    Neal: (grabs Del) Give it back!
    Del: I can't!
    Neal: (begins shaking him) Why not?!
    Del: Because!
    Neal: (shakes him some more) Because why?!
    Del: Because when we stopped to gas up, I put the card back in your wallet.
    (Neal's wallet is in the glove compartment in the now burning car. He and Del turn and look at it, before Neal groans and slumps against Del)
    Del: Are you mad at me? (Neal slugs him in the gut and trips over his trunk)
    • And in the next scene, Del is telling Neil how a punch in the stomach like that could've killed him, only to be met with Neil's epic dagger-shooting glare.
  • This exchange, following the above burning:
    State Trooper: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?
    Del: Well, funnily enough, I was just talking to my friend about that. Our speedometer has melted and as a result it's very hard to say with any degree of accuracy exactly how fast we were going.
    State Trooper: Seventy-eight miles an hour.
    Del: (whistles) Seventy-eight, huh? Well, yeah, I could buy that. Sure, I guess, y'know, uh... you would know better than us, especially since we've got a melted speedometer.
    State Trooper: Do you feel this vehicle is safe for highway travel?
    Del: Yes, I do. Yes, I really do, I believe that. I know it's not pretty to look at, but it'll get you where you want to do.
    State Trooper: Now, you got no outside mirror.
    Del: No, we lost that.
    State Trooper: You have no functioning gauges.
    Del: No, not a one. (beat) However, the radio still works. Funny at that may seem, with all this mess, that the radio is the only thing that's really working good, and it's clear as a bell, don't ask me how. (chuckles nervously)
  • The Mess Around.
  • Del and Neal trying to get the rental car out of the snow at the inn, with disastrous results.
    Del: Push!
    Neal: I am! I am!
    Del: Push for christ's sakes!
    Neal: [giving up]
    Del: Maybe we're gonna have to rock it... Okay. Reverse!
    [Del rams the car into the entire inn wall]
    Neal: Aww.
    Del: Huh.
    • The fact that they still put the turn signal on, complete with a hand turn signal, during their getaway.
  • Neal realizes how he knows Del, with a recreation of his reaction in the cab but with the airport still in the background.
  • The scene where Del drives the car in between two oncoming trucks. What really sells the scene are their ridiculous Wild Take the duo share, from turning into skeletons to Neal seeing Del as a Big Red Devil, complete with facial hair and pitchfork, laughing manically at him. By the end of it, Neal's fingers are stuck in the dashboard and as for Del, he dented the steering wheel.