- "Um... That's not his chin."
- After Neil finally convinces Norman to throw the stick, he does so causing it to promptly ricochet off a tree and bean Neil in the face.
- Norman's epic struggle to take the book from his dead uncle's hands.
- He finally gets it... And then his uncle's body falls on top of him, and his tongue rolls out onto Norman's face.
- Mitch taking down a zombie by punting his head like a football.
- Even earlier when that zombie was just standing there!
- A local, a rickety vending machine, and the approaching zombies.
- The incredibly awkward car ride with Judge Hopkins to the witch's grave with Norman's family. Especially with Norman, Courtney, and the Judge acting like kids arguing in the back seat.
- "What are you doing firing at civilians? That's for police to do!"
- "I knew something like this was going to happen!!" "You did? Wow. Because that zombie bit really threw me."
- "If I had known there would be so much reading involved, I would've brought a completely different group of people who hate me."
- Norman's grandmother is hilarious:
Norman: Dad says not to talk to you anymore.
Norman's Grandmother: Jackass.
- This is even funnier when you realize she's calling her son a jackass.
- This bit:
Mom: Hey Norman, what were you watching there?
Norman: (flat) Sex and violence.
- This bit, too:
Mr. Prenderghast: Swear to me!
Norman: Like... The F-word?
- And this:
Mitch: You're gonna love my boyfriend. He's like a total chick-flick nut!
Alvin: I'll punch you in your boobs!
Neil: They're not boobs! They're pec-tor-als!
(Alvin punches him)
Neil: Ow! My boobs!
- Let's not forget "Itchy Wieners."
- Every time the movie pushes its PG rating, it's so worth it.
- Neil trying to chase Uncle Prenderghast off with hummus. "It's spicy!" Even funnier because it works!
- "That statue just 'psst' at us?"
- The hick woman pulling out a shotgun and firing on the zombies when the townsfolk first saw them. No running around and screaming in panic for these people!
- And then the townsfolk kick the crap out of the zombies. One little girl is seen ripping an arm off one of them and throwing a flaming teddy bear at them with bloodthirsty glee. And before that, she was biting the zombie!
- For that matter, the zombies' arrival in town. First, they see a billboard of a woman with money stuffed between her breasts and groan excitedly. But then they experience Culture Shock and get freaked out by the various stuff in town, gasping each time, such as a drunk couple stumbling out of a pub, a punk spray painting graffiti of a skull on a wall, a man eating a burger in his car and spraying ketchup over the windshield, and finally, a TV flipping through channels, first of a man using a machine gun, then a monster truck rally, a lipstick commercial, a nuclear explosion, a rock star concert, and lastly, a kids' show. Then, one of the zombies screams in a high-pitched voice!
- In a truly hilarious moment of Getting Crap Past the Radar, at one point Alvin grabs Courtney's butt.
- Perry tempts fate by asking where the police are when needed. A policewoman then immediately crashes into his car with a motorbike.
- During the Shaming the Mob scene, Alvin says emotionally, "You should all be ashamed!" and points at random people in the crowd before adding, "How dare you!" What makes this funny is that this is Alvin, school bully, sounding like a prissy middle-aged lady.
- When Mitch gears it, leaving the six voiceless zombies (bonus point on one of them coughing) in smoke, and their reaction when they see Judge Hopkins hanging on the speeding van for dear afterlife. It's even funnier when you realize in life the fastest thing they probably ever encountered was a horse drawn carriage, which also explains why that one zombie just stood there, staring at the van before it ran him over. No wonder the Judge was screaming.
- Alvin trying to impress the ladies with his sweet dance moves.
- This exchange:
Mitch: You're not freeze framing mom's exercise DVDs, are you?
Neil: No. (The next shot shows he's doing exactly that)
- "Do I look crazy to you?" *goofy grin*
- Towards the beginning of the film, after the students sing a song in a school play, the audience claps, however one guy cries out "You Suck!"
- The song in question is also "Season of the Witch" by Donovan.
- When the angry mob makes their way to town hall, Mitch thinks it's the zombies at first. The following is pretty hilarious:
Mitch: I think it's the zombies.
Alvin: (scared) Hide!
Mitch: No, it's just grown-ups.
Alvin: (with more fear): Hide!!
- Earlier in that same scene, Neil was pretty proud of himself for reading twenty six pages in a book.
- The zombie movie Norman watches in the opening has the actress look at the camera with annoyance when the zombie actor moves too slow, and then she pushes the boom mic away while screaming.
- As the witch is rampaging through the town you can hear the following on the car radio:
News Anchor: Officials are urging people to PANIC AND RUN FOR THE— (The radio is turned off)
- Of the various scenes in vehicles, this one takes the cake.
Neil: You're the oldest!
Mitch: Not mentally!
- When Norman tells the others he'll go it alone, Neil insists on staying with him, telling his brother "I'm not going, and you can't make me!" Cue his brother effortlessly lifting him up and carrying him like a football.
- When Mitch accidentally drives over a zombie, runs out to see if its okay and accidentally breaks off the head in his hands.
- "Better start talking, buddy!"