Funny / Outlander

The Film

  • Kainan's first word in Old Norse (English to us).
    Kainan: [Pukes after receiving painful info dump from the Exposition Beam] Uuuugh... Fuck!
  • Even though it's a dark moment, it's also hilarious to watch the Christian priest attempt to exorcise the Moorwen, only to be gutted and blasted into a gushy red mist.
  • Half of Boromir's screentime is good for a few laughs:
    • Him trying to woo a wench by (very) drunkenly regaling her with the story of how Kainan killed the bear not too long ago.
    • Building the trap:
    Kainan: ...And we're going to need two rows of post holes.
    Boromir: Post holes? What do need post holes for?
    Kainan: [shrugs] Posts.
    Boromir: [Scoffs with a "of course you do" smirk]
  • Freya's "Hey, You!" Haymaker to Kainan as repayment for him knocking her out earlier. It's a fun sight seeing this rugged Space Marine, who had earlier taken on several vikings and almost won, getting sucker punched by a pissed off woman.
  • The shields game. In itself, it's a pretty ridiculous concept- A circle of vikings hold round shields on their shoulders, and two players do a follow-the-leader/simon-says type run atop them- but Kainan playing along, and ultimately fumbling, is enjoyable.
    [Wulfric does a tricky flip maneuver, which Kainan will have to replicate]
    Boromir: [sees that Kainan will end up landing on his shield] Oh no.
    Kainan: Ready, Boromir?
    Boromir: [looks defeated, then chugs a full flagon of mead] Am now!

The Books


Dragonfly in Amber
  • Jamie's reaction to seeing the red dress Claire's going to wear at the ball at Versailles. At first, he can only stand there with his mouth gaping open while Claire asks him how he likes it. Then, the only thing he can say is that it's red. When he can finally bring himself to speak, he is positively horrified to see just how revealing it is. What makes it really funny is that he did tell Claire to wear something which would let her stand out in the crowd, and how much more visible could she get than when she's wearing that dress?
    • The conversation they have about it is priceless:
      Claire: Not bad, is it? Very visible, at any rate.
      Jamie: Visible? Visible? God, I can see every inch of ye, down to the third rib!
      Claire: No, you canít. That isnít me under the lace, itís a fining of white charmeuse.
      Jamie: Aye well, it looks like you!
    • And then, just a few paragraphs later:
      Jamie: You couldna Ö cover it up at bit at the top? A Ö ruffle or something? A handkerchief?
      Claire: Men have no notion of fashion. But not to worry. The seamstress says thatís what the fan is for.
      *Claire shows Jamie the matching fan, waving it enticingly over her bosom.*
      Jamie: Do me the one favor, Sassenach. Take a larger fan.
    • The conversation Claire has earlier with the seamstress about the dress:
      Seamstress: Not every woman could wear it, Madame. But you, with that skin! Mother of God, youíll have men crawling under your skirt all night!
      Claire: If one tries, Iíll stamp on his fingers.
    • "In terms of attracting notice, the dress was an unqualified success. In terms of the effects on Jamieís blood pressure, it was somewhat more equivocal."
  • During the ball, Claire moves into a alcove to get some peace and quiet away from the main party. To her dismay, she finds that a rather daring French noble has followed her there. The noble promptly attempts to seduce her, only to accidentally sneeze into Claire's bosom at the last moment. A disgusted Claire immediately smacks him across the face with her closed fan, which causes him to stagger and fall back out of the alcove and into Jamie's arms, since Jamie just happened to be standing in the doorway at that moment. Turns out Jamie'd become worried about where Claire had gotten to and went searching for her, only to find her in the situation he had explicitly warned her not to get into. Without further adieu, after seeing the Viscomte alone with his wife Jamie grabs him and dunks him in the nearby fountain. As Claire tells him later, he ends up attracting a lot of attention.
  • The conversation Claire and Jamie have about how Claire's first day at L'Hopital des Anges went. Claire tells Jamie all about her day, very happily, while they're eating afternoon tea. Jamie listens, but doesn't eat a thing while Claire talks. When Claire finally notices this she offers him a pastry:
    Claire: Itís very crowded in some of the wardsótwo or three to a bed, which is awful, butódonít you want some of this? Itís very good.
    Jamie: If ye think ye can keep from telling me about gangrenous toenails long enough for a bite to make it from my gullet to my stomach, then yes.
    • After that, Claire just asks demurely how Jamie's day was like.

  • Just everything about Fergus and Marsali's wedding.
    • Especially Father Fogden...
      "Canít get married without a name. Just like a cock. Canít get married without a name; canít get married without a có"
  • Jamie's annoyance when the Porpoise keeps pursuing him:
    "Itís persecution! The filthy boatís pursuing me. Everywhere I go, there it is again!"

Drums in Autumn
  • When Brianna first meets Jamie, he's urinating behind a tree.
  • This line when Claire reunites with Bree at Fraser's Ridge (especially Jamie's reaction!):
    Claire: I, ah, wasn't expecting—
    Bree: No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
    Jamie: What?
  • The end of the conversation Bree and Claire have when Bree admits her pregnancy to Claire. Bree tells her that she and Roger used coitus interruptus while having sex, and that's why she's so certain that the baby is Bonnet's and not Roger's. Claire only response is this:
    Claire: There is a word for people who depend on that particular method of birth control.
    Bree: Whatís that?
    Claire: Parents.

The Fiery Cross

A Breath of Snow and Ashes

An Echo in the Bone
  • When Lord John admits to sleeping with Claire, Jamie's only reaction is 'Oh? Why?' Needless to say, knowing the guy's habit of intemperate, violent reactions to shocking and upsetting news (especially the thought of someone else bedding his wife who he was separated from for twenty years), Lord John is speechless.

Written in My Own Hearts Blood

  • In Scottish Gaelic, a 'bree' is a 'great disturbance'. Jamie is amused at Claire's nickname for Brianna because of this. It's made even more funny when you think of how fitting the name is for Bree, who seems to cause a 'great disturbance' wherever she goes (metaphorically and physically). In Echo a fellow worker of Brianna's hears her nickname and is about to point out the above when Bree cuts in wryly and admits that she knows.