- Lono, Loop, Victor and Jack are riding in a car.
Loop: Ain't never been to Mexico...Lono: No? It's a sweet place...Victor: If you're American.Jack: Yeah, it must taste like ass to be Mexican.Loop: Mexicans are Americans.Victor, Lono and Jack: The hell they are!
- Lono's idea of a knock-knock joke
(knocks on the door)Jack: Who is it?Lono: Norma.Jack: Norma who?Lono: Norma Lee. As in, normally I just bash the fuckin' door down. Let me in!
- Milo Garret picks a fight with a huge guy on the street by 'accidentally' flicking a cigarette to burn his arm. The guy understandably screams "Jesus Christ fuckin' asshole!" To which Milo responds with "whoah, tubby, did you just call God a fag?" After knocking the poor guy off his feet, Milo caps it off with "And no more sissy talk about our lord and savior!"
- Milo acting like an asshole is always entertaining. Especially the Running Gag of him knocking Megan's guard everytime he wants to talk to her.
- Multiple with Wylie in Wylie Runs the Voodoo Down, particularly poor Gabe accidentally firing his loaded gun near Wylie, prompting a terrified "Jesus Motherfucking Mary!"
- From the same arc, a pair of murderers actually identify Wylie as a witness to their crime from hearing him scream 'FUCK!' loudly after using an antiseptic on his hand, the same thing he'd yelled upon seeing the murder. Dizzy wryly comments Wylie needs to "expand your freaking out vocabulary."
- Loop, during his, Lono, Vic and Jack's stay at a hotel, decides it'd be funny to jump off the balcony on top of a seemingly sleeping Jack, who's floating in the pool on a raft. Vic dryly remarks "I'd think twice about what you ain't given none to." Sure enough, this ends very poorly for Loop.
- Remi's sex tip so that his friend's wife let him go out, because his friend finishes faster than his wife: Go down on her after finishing in.
Friend: What if I pull out and spray on her belly
Remi: You're not listening to me.