Madame Blue: Sorry dear, I don’t think that will ever happen. There’s more chance of Megan Le Fey becoming a nun than there is of Gail and Sherman becoming a couple.
Sherman: Actually, the Megan Le Fey of myth was a priestess, which is fairly close to a nun, only with more sex and more respect, seeing as the pagan religions of the time had a higher opinion of women than the Catholic church currently holds.
Gail:Really? That's what you took from that?
Gossip Girl and Gail's little back-and-forth snark war, eventually ending in this:
Gail: I hope you get pregnant and die.
Gossip Girl: Who's to say I'm not already pregnant? Who's to say you're not?
Gail: Gee, I don't know, Gossip Girl. Why don't you ask the blood that's COMING OUT OF MY VAGINA?!
Colleen and Annabella getting drunk at Theo's party.
Sometimes the conversations between the muns on the OOC blog count.
Susie (Gail): fun fact: in chapter one, terrence pulled this “she doesn’t REALLY like you” bullshit with henry when he got with gail. i’m pretty sure harriet and i cried while rping the fight that ensued.
She threatens to strangle Gossip Girl with a brick.
"You know, I've heard the phrase 'keep your friends close and your enemies closer'... but personally, I'm a fan of 'keep your friends close and kill the little bitch that's been making your life miserable.'"
Henry and Terrence decide to sneak into Gail's yard and let all the animals out. What results is:
Gail screaming at Terrence to "get off her land," punching him, and then tazing him in the nipple.
Henry running away and informing Jackson that "Terrence may have been killed by farm people."
Terrence yelling at Henry for abandoning him.
Jackson trying to figure out what's going on.
...And to cap it all off:
Jackson: 1 new TXT from: Gail
Gail: I may or may not have just tazed Terrence in the nipple. So, um, yeah... don't tell him about the date just yet.
Gail and Henry's little text-war while Gail heads to Disneyland.
Gail: Whatever, Rivers.
Henry: Don't you "whatever" me! Goddamn, with that attitude I'm surprised you have any friends at all.
Gail: Where I come from, "whatever" is generally used to end a pointless conversation.
Henry: Just get your ass BACK HERE.
Gail: Oh, sure, I'll just JUMP OFF THIS PLANE and WALK back to Pageson. See you in six months!
"PUT THAT FRIENDSHIP BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM, SO HELP ME!"
Gail's recap of Theo's party:
Okay, so let's see if I have this right. Irene is drunk, Daria is drunk, Grant is most definitely drunk, Tim is drunk, Sam wants me to get drunk with him, Henry is gonna kill me if I lie to Jackson, Maurice kissed Ev, Ev hates Maurice, Eric and Evangeline are in love, Grant hates the world, Sherman and Irene made out, Matt’s giving out free hats, Ev and Colleen are apparently friends now, Maurice hates the world, Adam hates the world, that’s nothing new, and… I have a nose piercing.