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* Livingston's first pass on the shuffler's randomizer. It's a hard to determine which is funnier, Livingston explaining the rules to Blackjack to Danny and Rusty (both of whom learned the rules before he was even born) with the two of them restraining themselves from pointing it out, or that he programmed the randomizer to do the opposite of what's intended. Namely that dealer always getting a 20 or blackjack instead of the players.
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* Linus and Frank's ScaryBlackMan con to steal the vault codes off Benedict, with Frank indignantly accused Linus's character of racism keeping Frank from doing his job, adding "Might as well call it WHITE-jack!" As security begins to take Frank away, he makes a move at Linus one more time:

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* Linus and Frank's ScaryBlackMan con to steal the vault codes off Benedict, with Frank indignantly accused accusing Linus's character of racism keeping Frank from doing his job, adding "Might as well call it WHITE-jack!" As security begins to take Frank away, he makes a move at Linus one more time:
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* Linus and Frank's ScaryBlackMan con to steal the vault codes off Benedict, with Frank indignantly accused Linus's character of racism keeping Frank from doing his job, adding "Might as well call it WHITE-jack!" As security begins to take Frank away, he makes a move at Linus one more time:
-->'''Frank''': Cracker!
-->'''Linus''': ''(simultaneously cowers in fear)'' Oh dear God!
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** Linus' GagNose is just too silly. It's so bad he has trouble drinking from a champagne flute while trying to seduce Abigail.

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** And then when Yen performs his job and infiltrates the express elevator system, narrowly avoiding being turned to paste by several of the insanely fast elevators, he comes to... An impenetrable security system.
--->'''Yen:''' ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck ...Shit...]]''



* The side plot where Virgil is infiltrating the Mexican factory the dice are manufactured at, only to incite a revolution because he hates the low pay and poor working conditions the rest of the workers face. The Turk is sent to get him back on schedule... Only to join in their little revolution, complete with his hastiyl hanging up his call with Danny so that he can chuck a ''molotov cocktail'' at the police guarding the factory from the protesting workers.

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* The side plot where Virgil is infiltrating the Mexican factory the dice are manufactured at, only to incite a revolution because he hates the low pay and poor working conditions the rest of the workers face. The Turk is sent to get him back on schedule... Only to join in their little revolution, complete with his hastiyl hastily hanging up his call with Danny so that he can chuck a ''molotov cocktail'' at the police guarding the factory from the protesting workers.
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** Rusty and Danny then stay up watching an Italian dub of ''Series/HappyDays'' and drinking wine (with Danny still java-jittery enough to miss half the cup when pouring Rusty a refill). Rusty pours out his heart a bit about Isabel before a silence allows Danny to get something off his mind:

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** Rusty and Danny then stay up watching an Italian dub of ''Series/HappyDays'' and drinking wine (with Danny still java-jittery focused on the TV enough to miss half the cup when pouring Rusty a refill). Rusty pours out his heart a bit about Isabel before a silence allows Danny to get something off his mind:
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** Rusty and Danny then stay up watching an Italian dub of ''Series/HappyDays'' and drinking wine (with Rusty already inebriated enough to miss half the cup when pouring Danny a refill). Rusty pours out his heart a bit about Isabel before a silence allows Danny to get something off his mind:

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** Rusty and Danny then stay up watching an Italian dub of ''Series/HappyDays'' and drinking wine (with Rusty already inebriated Danny still java-jittery enough to miss half the cup when pouring Danny Rusty a refill). Rusty pours out his heart a bit about Isabel before a silence allows Danny to get something off his mind:
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-->'''Danny''': That guy doing Potsie is ''unbelievable''.

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-->'''Danny''': --->'''Danny''': That guy doing Potsie is ''unbelievable''.
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** Rusty and Danny then stay up watching an Italian dub of ''Series/HappyDays'' and drinking wine (with Rusty already inebriated enough to miss half the cup when pouring Danny a refill). Rusty pours out his heart a bit about Isabel before a silence allows Danny to get something off his mind:
-->'''Danny''': That guy doing Potsie is ''unbelievable''.
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-->'''Terry''': What can I say? You're a funny guy.
* Terry typically relishes lording his threatening presence over everyone...except Linus. When the scene cuts to them, he asks if Terry has told Linus's parents about what's happened, and begins to launch into a relieved thank you response when Terry exasperatedly tells him to just get out.
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*** And how very, ''very'' blatantly those flashbacks display their appropriate decade. The third one in particular seems to have borrowed its [[TheEighties Eighties]] costumes, cars, soundtrack, and even its '''cinematography''' directly from ''Series/MiamiVice''n(although once he's shot, the soundtrack is the very adequate (and ironic) [[Film/TopGun "Take My Breath Away"]]).

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*** And how very, ''very'' blatantly those flashbacks display their appropriate decade. The third one in particular seems to have borrowed its [[TheEighties Eighties]] costumes, cars, soundtrack, and even its '''cinematography''' directly from ''Series/MiamiVice''n(although ''Series/MiamiVice'' (although once he's shot, the soundtrack is the very adequate (and ironic) [[Film/TopGun "Take My Breath Away"]]).
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*** And how very, ''very'' blatantly those flashbacks display their appropriate decade. The third one in particular seems to have borrowed its [[TheEighties Eighties]] costumes, cars, soundtrack, and even its '''cinematography''' directly from ''Series/MiamiVice''. (although once he's shot, the soundtrack is the very adequate (and ironic) [[Film/TopGun "Take My Breath Away"]])

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*** And how very, ''very'' blatantly those flashbacks display their appropriate decade. The third one in particular seems to have borrowed its [[TheEighties Eighties]] costumes, cars, soundtrack, and even its '''cinematography''' directly from ''Series/MiamiVice''. (although ''Series/MiamiVice''n(although once he's shot, the soundtrack is the very adequate (and ironic) [[Film/TopGun "Take My Breath Away"]])Away"]]).
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*** And how very, ''very'' blatantly those flashbacks display their appropriate decade. The third one in particular seems to have borrowed its [[TheEighties Eighties]] costumes, cars, soundtrack, and even its '''cinematography''' directly from ''Series/MiamiVice''. (although once he's shot, the soundtrack is a very adequate "Take my breath away...")

to:

*** And how very, ''very'' blatantly those flashbacks display their appropriate decade. The third one in particular seems to have borrowed its [[TheEighties Eighties]] costumes, cars, soundtrack, and even its '''cinematography''' directly from ''Series/MiamiVice''. (although once he's shot, the soundtrack is a the very adequate (and ironic) [[Film/TopGun "Take my breath away...")My Breath Away"]])
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* Benedict picks up Livingston while he's bombing at stand-up comedy. Benedict thinks he's ''hilarious.''
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** The main trio eventually coerce Yen by guilt-tripping him:
--->'''Linus''': What about Rueben?
--->'''Danny''': There's hospice.
--->'''Rusty''': Assisted living.
--->'''Linus''': I mean, we can pay someone to read to him...
--->'''Rusty''': Maybe he'll live to see his next birthday.
--->'''Danny''': January? I don't think so.
--->'''Yen''': Shit. ''(points to each one)'' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Shit! Shit! Shit!]]
** The title of the music for the scene appropriately is "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

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* Frank is getting a foot massage, unaware Terry Benedict has replaced the masseuse while he's not looking.
-->'''Frank''': Fred "Bud" Kelly[[note]] an early 20th-century black hockey player[[/note]] made skates out of whiskey bottles at his uncle's farm in the early 1900s. That was over there in Nova Scotia. I'm gonna tell you something else. You never seen his name on the Stanley Cup! You know why that is? Because that son of a bitch Jim Crow, took his name off the history books! You kind of -- ''(finally notices his foot in the hands of Terry)''
-->'''Terry''': Seems like every time I see you, you're playing the race card, Frank. Now why is that?
-->'''Frank''': ''(beat)'' You can let go of my feet now.



** And then at the end of ''Ocean's Thirteen'':
--->'''Male FBI Agent:''' I'm just glad your mother didn't have to see that.


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* After Bobby Caldwell helps Linus escape under the guise of a FBI bust, as Abigail Sponder was pulling down Linus's pants, there's an awkward silence between father and son on the elevator ride out.
-->'''Bobby''': I'm just glad your mother didn't have to see that.
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** He then turns on the shower and jumps out the window.

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** He then turns on the shower and [[BathroomBreakOut jumps out the window.window]].



** [[HeroWorship Linnis is the only one who doesn't voice against it]] pointing out it was [[BothSidesHaveAPoint Danny's plan while the others in turn point out that without them Danny couldn't have pulled it off.]]
-->'''Linnis''': Look when you have a problem who do you go to?
-->'''Most of the team''': Rusty.
-->'''Danny''': ''[Deadpan]'' Thanks, Linnis.

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** [[HeroWorship Linnis Linus is the only one who doesn't voice against it]] pointing out it was [[BothSidesHaveAPoint Danny's plan while the others in turn point out that without them Danny couldn't have pulled it off.]]
-->'''Linnis''': --->'''Linus:''' Look when you have a problem who do you go to?
-->'''Most
to?\\
'''Most
of the team''': Rusty.
-->'''Danny''':
team:''' Rusty.\\
'''Danny''':
''[Deadpan]'' Thanks, Linnis.Linus.
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--->'''Saul:''' I have a question, say we get into the cage, and through the security doors there and down the elevator we can't move, and past the guards with the guns, and into the vault we can't open...--\\

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--->'''Saul:''' [[LetMeGetThisStraight I have a question, question]], say we get into the cage, and through the security doors there and down the elevator we can't move, and past the guards with the guns, and into the vault we can't open...--\\
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* Willy Bank in general is amusing thanks to Creator/AlPacino's LargeHam tendencies, such as when Danny first confronts him about inadvertently inducing Reuben's vegetative state, and after Danny leaves, he gets right back to berating the construction staff.
-->'''Bank:''' Just get it done! I don't want the labor pains, I just want the baby!
** Later when he's discussing the New Year's celebration he's planning involving a stunt motorcycle rider, lights and fireworks.
--->'''Coordinator:'''... And roundabout twelve, Fender Roads will-\\
'''Bank:''' Not 'roundabout twelve'! ''AT'' twelve! On the dot! [''exasperated''] Christ, don't make a maniac out of me!
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* The side plot where Virgil is infiltrating the Mexican factory the dice are manufactured at, only to incite a revolution because he hates the low pay and poor working conditions the rest of the workers face. The Turk is sent to get him back on schedule... Only to join in their little revolution, complete with his hastiyl hanging up his call with Danny so that he can chuck a ''molotov cocktail'' at the police guarding the factory from the protesting workers.
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* When Yen refuses to go into the express elevator shaft, citing that they're too fast.
-->'''Rusty:''' Too fast? Come on, you did that bullet train stunt with like half of China watching!\\
'''Yen:''' [''Says something in Mandarin'']\\
'''Rusty:''' What? That was ''CGI?!''\\
'''Danny:''' Wait, those weren't your legs?
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Un-paraphrased some quotes


--->"Are you in yet?"\\

to:

--->"Are you --->"You in yet?"\\



** From that same scene (paraphrasing):
--->"Not too much, make it somewhat recognizable."\\
"I can make you taller. You wanna be taller?"\\

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** From that same scene (paraphrasing):
--->"Not too much, make
scene:
--->"Don't change
it somewhat recognizable.that much. Keep the structure."\\
"I can "I'm trying to make you taller. You Don't you wanna be taller?"\\



"You're a dwarf in 34 states."\\
"And an animal in the other 34."\\

to:

"You're a dwarf midget in 34 states."\\
"And an "An animal in the other 34."\\



'''Danny''': Well, if you feel that strongly about it, then we'll yank the kids out of the camp and send them back to their foster homes. ''[beat]'' All two hundred of them. ''[smiles]''\\

to:

'''Danny''': Well, if If you feel that strongly about it, then we'll yank the kids out of the camp and send them back to their foster homes. ''[beat]'' All two hundred of them. ''[smiles]''\\



-->'''Benedict''': All you gotta do is look at--at--i-inside a-a child's eyes and...and uh, that's all you need, that's all the-all the motivation one needs.

to:

-->'''Benedict''': All you gotta do is look at--at--i-inside a-a child's eyes and...and uh, that's all you need, it needs, that's all the-all the motivation that one needs.

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