In the Cinema Snob's Caligula outtakes: "Robo-cocks!"
Her Lampshading of her sub-par self-made title card for "Beer Bad."
Lupa: I already have a title card for this week. I worked on it real hard!
Shark Attack 3:
Jeremiah reenacts a shower sex scene - by standing in a shower, fondling, rubbing and kissing two cantaloupes.
"Here, you'll notice that John Barrowman has two acting modes, one being 'shiny teeth' and the other being 'hammy'."
"I was just hanging out in my low-cut sexy top, doing marine biology. Won't you come in and ogle me?"
Trapping Angry Joe in footage of Gerry if nothing else for Joe's reaction.
During her review of Blood Red Moon, a Twilight ripoff, she makes the following quip regarding the protagonist. "Unfortunately for Meagan if Bella has the personality of a paper bag, in comparision she has the personality of the tree it was made from."
Also: "He (i.e. Victor) was transformed as a teenager with no social skills! He's doomed to be perpetually mediocre!"
"That's not a blood red moon! Touché, movie - you've thrown me in for a loop!"
"The special features include, but are not limited to, 'Behind the Sceens'".
"If you ever wondered what Twilight would look like if it was shot in Canada and the actors were paid in silly string and broken dreams, look no further than Blood Red Moon!"
Her reaction to this little gem of dialogue.
Alyssa: With most of the people in this town, if you're not a blood relative you're an outsider. And unfortunately, just about everyone's related.
Lupa: Damn you, Anne Rice! Your fiction has fooled me again!
At one point in the movie, the main villain begins to perform some ritual that forces him to strain his body. How does Lupa make this otherwise boring scene hilarious? She plays random fart noises while he's doing it.
"I like this guy's expression here, it's like he can't believe he's in this movie either."
As well as being adorable, the outtake with Ash the cat.
"Not just any running - slo-mo shirtless running!" [Baywatch music]
The training montage during the Lady Dragon 2 review. Especially Jeremiah as "RICHARD NORTON". This is done with a piece of paper with the words RICHARD NORTON written on it and taped to his shirt. The look of utter disinterest on his face tops it off.
Nash:[smiling] What a day! The sun is bright and shining, I just won the lottery, and there is nothing bad happening in Florida. All is right with the world. [killed by a kamikaze bird]
Todd: I'll save you, Lupa!
After the cameos, Lupa tells the viewers that they dramatized some "real" consequences of global warming.
From her joint review of The Asylum's Sherlock Holmes with the Cinema Snob:
Cinema Snob: Uhhh, this is gonna be one of those kinda movies, isn't it.
Lupa: *Grins wildly at him*
"Sherlock himself is played by Ben Syder, an actor's man, an everyman, a man you should recognize from his stunning role on nothing, nothing at all, because he has had no other roles."
From the same, when Holmes and Watson face the gas trap.
Lupa:"..and then Holmes and Watson are attacked by a giant fart."
Snob (disgusted): "A fart joke? What are you, five?"
Lupa: *giggles* "Yes."
After revealing that Watson is played by Ianto Jones, they cut to Ianto crying whenever Watson "takes it well".
Lupa: [as Watson is writing] Dear...Mister...Davies, I would...very much...like...my...job...back.
The Snob trying to use the credits from The Geek to get out of the review.
The entire scene where they see the main villain in a costume resembling Iron Man
"Next thing they'll be fighting Iron Man "shows robot" I WAS FUCKING JOKING!"
"Let's find out who the carnival ghost really is."
Lupa's shocked reactions to the reveal... the second one being spotted by the Snob who wonders what the hell is going on.
"Next thing you'll tell me he throws a dragon at them-" *Shows dragon* "OH COME ON!"
"I'd never thought i'd ever say this but the climax of the film involves Holmes in a hot air ballon fighting Iron Man in a giant robot dragon while Watson rides on horseback to stop an android from blowing up Buckingham Palace. I can't even make a joke about that!"
"How exactly do you plan to frame him for your giant robot dragon?"
"Just how Sir Arthur Conan Doyle imagined Sherlock Homes, busting a cap in someones ass. Surely Sherlock takes no shit."
She's wearing an eyepatch and talking in a gruff voice for the entire Nick Fury review.
"No! No! Movie directed by 'Me'?! How far are we into this?!"
"This song's gonna make me."
Todd composing the theme song.
American Ninja 2: Lupa using a picture of Film Brain when talking about "our British overlords".
The final fight earns the Mentos Finger soundtrack as it ends with the characters giving thumbs up to each other.
From American Ninja 3:
"Okay. It's an American Ninja movie, so there are going to be montages. But that doesn't mean they have to be good ones." Cue fight scenes set to "Kiss the Girl", "Toxic", "Blue on Blue" by Bobby Vinton, Backstreet Boys, "How I Beat Shaq" by Aaron Carter, and finally, long fart noises.
American Ninja 4: Lupa getting increasingly desperate to make the "action" more exciting via montages, eventually finishing with a Heroic BSOD when the rescue of one of the characters involves...a smoke bomb.
On one occasion, Lupa's cat was sitting next to her computer, listening intently to the chat. The cat began meowing loudly...prompting another Skyper's feline to do the same. So, Lupa held the microphone up to her cat and let the two animals "talk".
Person in chat: I'm awake at 4 AM listening to cats meowing on a Livestream. Yup, my life is headed in the right direction.
Her cameo in dascottjr's literal video for Nirvana's "Heart-Shaped Box".
Blonde Girl: I put a tree baby in this guy's IV! Ha ha ha! Isn't that funny?
Kurt, Dave, Krist: No.
The Nostalgia Chick and Lupa reviewing Honor and Glory. After Lupa decides she needs someone classier to share the film with, we see the Chick lying in bed wearing a stylish evening gown, drinking wine and reading a book...and then the pillow behind her slowly lifts up to reveal Lupa with the goofiest grin you have ever seen her wearing.
Lupa's hilariously creepy Slasher Smile when the Chick demands to know how she got into her apartment.
Chick: Have you been there all night...and day? It's like five p.m. (And Lupa just keeps smiling at her).
Chick attempts to analyze the deeper elements of the movie. Lupa just farts at her.
The commentary reveals that, despite playing the serious, deeper character who can't just let go and have fun, it was Lindsay who made all the fart gags.
Nella's reaction to a Cynthia Rothrock movie.
Nella: I'm going to go make celebratory cookies!
Which later turn out to be cheetos.
Chick, Lupa, Nella, and Elisa reenacting a scene from the movie with intentional Bad Bad Acting, bad lip-syncing, and bad camera movements. At one point someone farts, and Chick almost breaks character trying not to laugh.
During the fight, Obscurus Lupa takes Nella hostage... only to clearly feel guilty about it and have a friendly chat with Nella, to the Chick's irritation.
Chick also doing the Home Alone face when Nella gets grabbed.
The characters in the movie have a green bean fight. Thus we cut to the Chick fantasizing about her and Todd doing the same, but with cheetos.
Todd suddenly appearing, as he is wont to do when Lupa is around, and descends into Gibberish of Love. When Lupa lays into him for persisting, the Chick cracks her knuckles and a fights Lupa in defense of "her man". While they're both wearing Twilightshirts
Said Cat Fight is a Call Back to Undefeatable. Including the opening, with the Chick licking a knife.
From the bloopers: Lindsay has her arms wrapped around Todd's head so that nobody can see his face, and sings "I am the mask you wear".
From the commentary: Lindsay saying that the first thing anyone tells her when they meet in real life is how short she is.
The fact that everyone seemed to be hiding in Chick's bedroom without her knowledge. Meaning that she was unaware that Lupa, Nella, Todd, Paw, and possibly Elisa were all in the room with her without her noticing.
Using the Jeopardy Theme to illustrate how long it takes Leatherface to kill someone in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation.
In Subspecies 3, "So anyone who wanted to see William Shatner's daughter naked, you're welcome." [beat] "I just killed a *lot* of boners there, didn't I?"
Pretty much anything she says as Radu is gold, especially "boobs".
Her portrayal of Radu as an awkward Man Child who just wants to get laid is hilarious.
"I think [this scene] pretty much sums up this series. There's Mummy Radu laughing her ass off at things that aren't even remotely funny, Michelle screaming and crying, and Radu standing there with the most ridiculous face he could think up at the time."
Her reaction to complaints about the "titty bars": Censor bars EVERYWHERE!
The Flying Radu!
The Top Ten Hottest Animated Dogs. Let that sink in.
In much the same satirical vein as the above, her review of Star Wars: A New Hope, a film so terrible that it "fell into rightful obscurity". Though she does praise its few good points, like the budding romance between Luke and Leia, and how Greedo shoots first.
Hating Leia's bun-hair while she herself has a towel thing on her head.
Lupa has brought back Radu to review other movies. And it is hilarious.
Her ecstatic reaction to the frog band from Return to Frogtown
Heidi 4 Paws, which includes her reinterpreting the Grandfather as plotting Heidi's demise. And racism against pomeranians.
"Anyway, this is Peter the goat-herder who is in charge of the- *sees the 'goats'* dear God no."
Good God, so many in the Heidi 4 Paws review. The "Biscuit? Biscuit?" montage. The Pomeranians plotting the murders of their caretakers, especially Heidi after she calls one of them fat. "I poisoned your cheese." "Someday you'll pay ... you'll all pay." Not to mention the Psycho violin sting playing while the goat Pomeranians pop up in the background. During night scenes, they cry, "Life is an abyss! We own the night!" and withdraw, hissing.
In her Little Mermaid II review, pointing out an animation mistake in which a fleeing merman is grinning happily while fleeing the villain. "Look at this guy. Not a fuckin' care in the world."
"Shut up, Sebeastian!"
The long, awkward pause after Lupa fires Dr. Crest is just fantastic.
In Lupa's review of The Amazing Bulk, her description of what the Bulk looks like.
Lupa: It's like if the Hulk turned his strechy pants into a gimp suit that gave him a wedgie, that'd be the Bulk.
"Look at this fucker run."
To parody the film's rampant green-screening, she puts an off-kilter photo of her room up as her background. When the film's backgrounds get even more poorly drawn, the room is replaced with an MS Paint drawing... which is still somehow better than the film's "sets".
"Sex jokes. Sex jokes. We're telling sex jokes. We're telling sex jokes, and the background moves too fast..."
Her reaction to the glorious Mind Screw near the ending. "I...I asked all of the questions. There are no more questions to be asked."
"After Ghost Lee beats him up a bit, Jason fights the urge to retreat and surrender, and instead has an eighties training sequence. This involves him doing push-ups at a child’s playground, getting hit in the nuts, wearing short shorts, and this." *A grinning RJ sneaks up and sits on Jason's lap, (who is doing some sort of suspended pelvic-thrust…thing), causing them to both crash to the ground*
"Ah yes, drink a nice a cool glass of... Playboy magazine?"
"He put the baby in the toilet.. I can't even do that without laughing."
Lupa's intro to Vampire Assassin: "Today we're talking about vampires. *shows a clip from The Lost Boys, then laughs* Not good vampires, these vampires!" *Shows the bad-wig vampires, and Slovak*
"Vampire Cop is about a cop who is a vampire, and there's lots and lots of boobs."
"Only one of those things is important, and it's neither of the words in the title."
Her reaction to one of the hookers in the movie saying they accept credit cards.
"They better give him a receipt for that! That shit's tax deductable!"
"Well, that just plaidens my chair!"
On the excessive amounts of boobage in the movie: "If you want to be a porn, movie, just be a porn! There's no audience for this! ...Except me, apparently."
From The Mystical Adventures of Billy Owens, her reaction to Roddy Piper's exceptional moment of Chewing the Scenery. "YOUR SOUL! WAS LOST! IN DA RIVAAAAAH!!!!"
"TOO MANY ELEVENS!!!" *SMASH*
In the sequel, the lead character jumps from his magical treehouse and starts flying very awkwardly. Cue the Puma Man theme.
In Lupa's Let's Play of Xena: Death In Chains, there's her reaction to the Disco ball option. Then, after accidentally repeatedly killing the protagonists, she intentionally picks what she thinks is a silly option (a stick)... Which turns out to be the correct option!
She doesn't let Gabrielle live down her "dreamboat" comment, and sprinkles it on her dialogue whenever she can. It's amazing.
Lupa gets A Special Sesame Street Christmas as another present from "fuck face".
In the introduction to the review, she says that the special must be more revered than Christmas Eve on Sesame Street, since it got an Emmy nomination, but then learns it lost the award...to Christmas Eve on Sesame Street.
Sometimes, she makes Tiny Tim the cat talk with a screechy, whiny voice.
After Ethel Merman tells Imogene Coca, "You look like an idiot!", Lupa grins and says that she can't hate Merman for saying that.
"If it sounds like a good idea, Charmed will find a way to make it stupid."
Her love/hate for Neighbour Dan
Her intense hatred for Piper and especially Phoebe
Pointing out how awful the Charmed Ones progressively become at saving innocents
She loves pointing out how death has no meaning on the show since the main characters die very often and always come back. (Well except for that one time with Prue but that was a case of Real Life Writes the Plot)
Hello, I'm Obscurus Lupa, and welcome to the review of Witchcraft 8. Ai yiyiyiyi! *shakes maracas, screen flashes the colors of the Mexican flag*
During a Livestream, Lupa streamed Cop Rock. A typo in the chat turned the Mayor into MAMYOR, a Memetic Badass that shoots first, asks questions later, fights Godzilla, questions why everyone has flat tops, lets Hoby sleep in her hair, and is also probably an alien from the same planet as Tommy Wiseau.
In the Witchcraft 9 review (done with Phelous), because the main character has become a ghost, the two reviewers become Ghostbusters. Cue Lupa in a Ghostbusters uniform... and Phelous dressed as the animated Janine. They switch in the next scene (and Lupa's Janine cosplay is excellent), but damn was that brilliant.
The "Hooker Math" and "Hooker Magic" employed by the deuteragonist.
The title card, based on the bad, obscure 1989 NES game A Week of Garfield.
Lupa sneaking up on The Nostalgia Critic who is casually eating a burrito, pushing a VCR up next to him, then sticking the film's DVD in the VCR slot.
Both of them reading the title in various inflections.
Lupa calls the director "David De-Can't-Pronounce-His-Name."
"Did The Cinema Snob voice the kitty, or did his cat Lloyd just want to give his son a liftoff project?"
Their With Lyrics rendition of the opening segment's jaunty music.
Most of the Miami Connection review is stupidly funny, but especially her ridiculous glee at the band-within-a-movie, Dragonsound. By the time they come back on screen a third time, Lupa looks like she just achieved enlightenment.
Also, this is just one of her many, many ribs on the poorly-delivered dialogue throughout the movie: