Funny / Noisy Hill

  • James, having just killed Eddie, utters the actual game dialogue "Mary...did you really die three years ago?". And then...
    Mary: (Just a voice) NO!
  • Also:
    James: But at least I have Mary...I mean Laura now. It's just a shame she's not feeling well. I'll have to do something about that. (Pause) Heh. Pillows. (Fade to black)
  • Eileen: (Upon seeing the giant version of her head Henry says he made) Oh my god, what's wrong with you?
    Henry: Many things! But I'm sure you'll overlook that.
  • Alessa: (Off screen) Ah!
    Travis: Was that a cry for help?
    Alessa: (Still off screen) No! Let me burn!
    Travis: Don't worry, I can save you! I'm a truck driver!
  • Heather: I forgive you...but god doesn't
    Confessor: You're not god?
    Heather: No. My name's Heather. Hello.
  • Henry: If you come through this hole, you'll wake up in my bed! With me!
    Eileen: Um... No thanks...
  • James: "Actually, everyone always bullied me in school. Until I brought a pillow in one day and showed them all."
  • "What did [Mary] look like?" "Dead. Very dead. Very, very dead."
  • "What's that red stuff on the knife?" "... Ketchup. Paint. Both."
  • "... Now I'm going to stick a cigarette into my eye."
  • The most recent episode has some very funny moments, with Alex's conversation with the person behind the door:
    Alex: Wait, so you're stuck in a room, you have no idea what's going on, and we occasionally go into first person for some reason... Henry?
  • And the appearance of Pyramid Head:
    Pyramid Head: There. I appeared. Now give me my money and let me get out of here. I need to go now. I'm heading off to a primary school to teach children about shapes. And sex education.
    Alex: Wow, that guy is depressing. He just hasn't been the same since James left/killed himself/went off with Maria/... Dog ending.
    • From the newest episode:
    Alex: Yeah, I like being like James. I even stole his wife's name. Shepherd, obviously. Not Mary. I'm Alex. A man. I went to war.
  • "Could a drunken fool do THIS?" (Drains a whole bottle of wine)
  • Alex: Please, we have fences up here. These are fence obeying monst- Oh my god, they're climbing the fences! They have learned!
  • The part in Noisy Hill 4 when Henry finds Andrew De Salvo locked in a jail cell:
    Henry: Hang on, are you... are you touching my face? I swear, if the words "Special Favour" come out of your mouth, I'm going to kill you myself!
  • Right after the Scarlet boss fight, a key appears, only to disappear in the puddle of blood:
    Alex: Oh great, it's lost in the blood. Now I'll probably have to fight a giant key.
  • Henry in the Water Prison World:
    "Water Prison World? I'm going to be so disappointed if this isn't a prison for criminal water."
    "Why am I turning the valve? So I can let all of the criminal water free. Run free water! You're free now!"
    • His reaction to Andrew De Salvo's death:
      "Oh no... it was the water, wasn't it? I never should have let them go, they should have stayed locked up! Damn you, naughty water, you've gone too far this time!"
  • From Noisy Hill Shattered Memories:
    Kaufmann: I want you to let out your inner child.
    Cheryl: Alessa? OK. There's nothing to really analyze about colouring. (starts colouring everything in the picture red) OH GOD THE BLOOD, IT'S EVERYWHERE! PLEASE! HELP ME GOD! WHY? WHY? WHEN WILL THE NIGHTMARE END? CAN'T STOP THE BLOOD! PLEASE! SOMEBODY KILL ME! (sobs)
  • The first appearance of Cybil in Noisy Hill Shattered Memories:
    Cybil: Ah, I love coming to this diner, not ordering anything and playing with my gun.
    Random voice: Please don't kill us.
    Cybil: I don't know why everyone's under the tables.
  • In the recording at the beginning of the game, after it first rewinds:
    Harry: Wave to the camera, sweetie.
    Cheryl: Please help us, we're stuck in a time loop.
  • In the beginning of Part 5 of Noisy Hill Shattered Memories:
    Cheryl: And then my dad ran away from even more monsters, and then he ended up at my old high school.
    Kaufmann: Oh, you've finished talking? I can wake up now. Thank you, God, for letting her finish.
  • Michelle's song in part 6 of Noisy Hill Shattered Memories.
  • The entire story telling bit in part 11 of Noisy Hill Shattered Memories, with Kaufmann forgetting a few times what the bull's part in the story is, Cheryl playing around with the figurines and when it glitches up at the end, leaving the three human figurines floating in mid-air.
    Kaufmann: So Wilhelm is passionately in love with the Bull. No, sorry, not... I introduced them in a weird order for no reason, and now I've gotten all confused. No-one's in love with the Bull. But the Bull is fine with that. I imagine... I don't really know if... Well, it's my story, I suppose I can do what I want. No, let's say the Bull is not fine with that. The Bull is depressed and suicidal and... OK, I'm getting sidetracked.

    Kaufmann: So they got married. It was a lovely ceremony. Only the four of them there. No, wait, the Bull wasn't... Anyway. Sorry, I can't remember why there's a Bull in this story. She decides to run. She runs into a field, ignoring the signs saying "Look out, depressive Bull in field".
  • Part 2 of Noisy Hill: Downpour when the prisoners on the bus sing.
    Prisoners: (singing) The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.
    Anne: Oh God, please shut up.
    Scene fades out, fading back in to showing the bus driving in the rain
    Prisoners: (singing) Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Peter stole the cookie from the cookie jar. That's why he's in prison. (short pause) 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer. You take one down, Brian drinks from it because he's an alcoholic. And in a drunken rage he kills his best friend. That's why he's in prison. 98 bottles of beer on the wall.
    • When the bus tumbles down the embankment:
    Prisoners: (singing) The entire bus goes round and round, oh my god!
  • The entire parody review of Silent Hill Revelation.
  • "Unless... Harry is a god! I'm so going to post that theory."
  • Heather meets "Danny":
    Heather: You have lovely eyes. I love the... gougeyness.
  • When the world shifts around Alex in the hospital bathroom:
    Alex: So this is what happens when a man enters a woman's toilet. The apocalypse.
  • Alex's first conversation with Judge Holloway:
    Judge Holloway: (regarding Elle) I'm sure she'd love to see you.
    Alex: ...I'm going to ignore the fact that you looked at my crotch when you said that.
    Alex: Perhaps I'll see you later.
    Alex: What?
  • Murphy's flashback of the conversation in Sewell's office in Noisy Hill Downpour Part 8. Especially the end.
    Sewell: (offscreen, after fading away) Murphy, did I leave my office behind?
    Murphy: Yeah.
    Sewell: Thanks, I'll just get it. (office fades away)
    • In the same part, with Coleridge and Murphy discussing how he ended up in prison:
    Coleridge: You stole a police cruiser and led them on a ten-hour cruise.
    Murphy: I told you before, sir. It was car theft, evading arrest, and screaming "Oh God, I hope I don't get taken to Ryall State Prison! That would suck!".
  • James meets Angela for the second time lying in front of a mirror:
    Angela: Well, have you seen my twin anywhere?
    Angela: me.