- During a fight in Dave's office, Lisa removes her blouse (which was actually a shirt borrowed from Dave), throws it at him, then storms out. She walks past Bill, who is reading a newspaper and reacts not at all to the sight of Lisa in a black bra and nothing else on top. Lisa comes back and delivers a stinging hard slap across Bill's face.
Bill: (aghast) I didn't say a word —Lisa: (angry) You were thinking it!A huge grin spreads over Bill's face as Lisa storms off again...Bill: ...fair enough!
- The noise that the Goofy Ball makes.
- Four words: Macho Business Donkey Wrestler.
Bill: Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor! DAMN!
Jimmy: Soon, the super karate monkey death car would park in my space. But Jimmy has fancy plans! ... and pants to match.
- From NewsRadio's second season, Bill McNeal's impression of Dave, whilst Dave is secretly listening underneath his desk. "I'm from Wisconsin, where taxi cabs are feared and hunted for their delicious flesh."
Dave: "Wait a minute Joe. If what you're saying is correct, then I... still... don't... care"
- The complaint box episode. When everyone breaks down at "Help, I'm trapped in a complaint box", that's actually the cast breaking down after trying to hold it in for an entire scene of Dave Foley reading cards like, "Matthew has been staring at me all day... and I like it" and "I have doobie in my funk."
Dave: All right, I- I take the complaint box very seriously, and I seem to be the only one who does.
Bill: A complaint about the complaint box... delicious. (grins)
Dave: Bill, I'm serious, I'm not amused, all right? I happen to be the one who has to deal with all of these complaints, no matter how stupid they are.
Beth: Well, Dave, how stupid could they be?
Dave: Well, let's have a look here. (reading) "You suck". "You suck". "Howard Stern rules". "If you can read this you are a dork". "Coupon for one free kiss from Joe if you are a girl". "Need more complaint cards". "Coupon for one free kiss from Joe... If you are a guy".
Dave: (pulls out cookie fortune) "You will go on a journey, happy long time". "Matthew is a moron". "No, I'm not". "Yes, you are". "No I'm not infinity". (Matthew looks triumphant) "Yes you are infinity... Plus one". (Matthew's triumphant look fades) And this one... "I have doobie in my funk" which I assume is some kind of reference to the Parliament-Funkadelic song "Chocolate City". (Beth gives a double thumbs up) Let's see, "You got peanut butter in my chocolate". "You got chocolate in my peanut butter". "Together they taste like crap". (Beth mouths along with the last one and gives another double thumbs up) "Matthew has been staring at me all day... and I love it". (Matthew looks disturbed) I don't quite get this one, it says, "I... I try to be good hard worker man but refrigemater so messy... So, so messy"?
Lisa: I think that one's probably from Milos, the janitor.
Dave: Oh, then that- then that one's legitimate. (sets the card aside) Uh, "Who's the black private dick who's a sex machine with all the chicks."
Bill: I thought we'd all enjoy that one.
Dave: Okay. And, "Help, I'm being held prisoner in a complaint box." (everyone laughs, including Dave) Which is actually kind of funny.
- The Cane. That entire episode...just brilliant. "This one displeases me."
- Dave asking Matthew if he's ever been bitch slapped.
- "The Real Deal with Bill McNeil", and Bill's pre-recorded tapes. He even keeps several in his pocket for when the producer takes the loaded ones away, including:
Hey, good question!
Hey, don't mention it!
Well screw you too!
- From the sounds of it, the last one gets used a lot, as well as "Sorry!" (revealed in a later episode).
- From the same episode, Bill interviewing Jerry Seinfeld.
- At a staff meeting:
Dave: As usual, I'm going to have to ask you all to ignore Bill. [beat] Looking around, I see you're all two steps ahead of me.
- In "Who's the Boss Part 2", Joe gets in fights with his two brothers, until Sal steps in. The three are shamed into realizing how raucous they've been acting in the office, and want to talk. Sal's reply:
Sal: The time for talk is over. (pulls out a baseball bat) Now come over here and get your medicine. (the trio runs out)
- "Coda": Dave, Bill, and Jimmy have to edit a radio ad down to less than 30 seconds, and spend endless hours experimenting on how to do it. On one take, they take out only but the most important words, resulting in a mess of random words ("Crack, bat, roar, crowd"), and on another they deliberately arrange the words to make fun of Bill ("I'm Bill McNeil. I'm on crack. I like boys.")
- In the "Arcade" episode, Dave advises Jimmy to get better at the game by pretending all the NPCs (whom the player has to save from being abducted by aliens) are members of his family. Jimmy takes the advice a little too literally and breaks down in tears the next time he loses the game.
- In "Presence", Joe gives Lisa a Boba Fett figure that he has (unbeknownst to her) rigged up with a camera to help her cheat at poker. At the end of the episode, she tosses it out a window at the top of a building and Joe, watching through a visor several floors down, suddenly begins screaming and flailing helplessly.
- Jimmy's epic freakout when Matthew reveals he accidentally lost all Jimmy's money.