I think we have enough honest-to-god anons here to not get raided. Anyways, 4chan Archive is dedicated to storing these, along with CMOAs, CMOHs, and other various crowning moments spawned from the infamous ocean of piss. Site not safe for work, as the whole 4chan thing may make blindingly obvious.
Survival of the Fittest has Carson Baye's death. He stops to take a bathroom break... in a danger zone. This leads to him attempting to run like hell with his pants around his ankles, quoting Pokémon.
Richard Han's death starts out with him attempting to climb down a mountain after losing the rest of his group. He slips, falls, and starts screaming. He then enters a different thread, apparently still screaming until he hits the ground. It really must be seen to be believed.
Richard: YOU WIN THIS TIME, GRAAAVIIIIITYYYYYYYYY-
Wikis
Deleted Articles With Freaky Titles from The Other Wiki. Highlights include "Angry donkey", "Attack of the fifty foot Hitler", "The cheeses has eats my one friends", and "List Of Dads Who Make Other Dads Eat Bugs", whose discussion page contained "my dad".
It's been taken down, but The Other Wiki once had an archive of vandalism they found amusing or clever. This Troper's favorite example was when someone altered the page on rapper Chamillionaire to indicate that he had evolved from Charizard.
"[Sephiroth] went to Sector 6 Community College, where he met his later band mate, Bill D. "President" Shinra. After graduating he formed his first band, MaTeRiA."
"I did not have sexual relations with that woman", said by Bill Clinton regarding Monica Lewinsky, a woman with whom he had sexual relations.
Wait, should it really take a Conservative to notice the humor in that one? That's some classic, bipartisan funny there.
Exalted "As for what they do with that power... well, one of the running themes of Exalted is, "Welcome to Creation, here's your shovel.""
Wookieepedia has articles written for the Energizer Bunny and Max written with an entirely in universe style. The first being a commercial (where Darth Vader's lightsaber ran out of power) and the 2nd being entirely about cameo appearance he has had.
The summary for Ol' Dirty Bastard's "Got Your Money" has to be read to be believed.
The Other Wiki on the dangers of bee-keeping: "It's worth noting that no amount of protective clothing will make the experience of a facefull of aggressive bees flying up from an opened hive pleasant for any beekeeper".
Wikimedia, who runs Wikipedia and other affiliated websites, has a classy article about behavior called Don't be a dick. At the bottom of the article, it says: The term "dick" in this essay is generally defined as "an abrasive and inconsiderate person" of any gender. Therefore this is an essay about obnoxious behaviour.
AMV Hell 3. At 7:44, we get a long scene full of Azumanga Daioh characters in various "saluting" or authoritative poses combined with Communist Soviet Union imagery. This goes on for half a minute. Then immediately after that, it cuts to a one-second clip of Osaka going "HEIL HITLER!". Placing those two right next to each other is many times funnier than either one would be on their own.
In this tropers opinion, the high point of it is at 38:13. Amarao. Dueling banjos. EYEBROWS! Makes me burst out laughing just thinking of it.
Oh no, the winner is this one at 7'59". It actually gets funnier the more times you watch it.
AMV Hell 0 gives us the moment where a character is on.nimp.or- HEY, EVERYBODY! I'M LOOKING AT GAY PORNO!
AMV Minis 1 has one scene which is basically the entirity of Lelouch's dramatic death, overlaid with Requium For a Dream For about a full minute, the entire thing seems completely serious, up until Zero!Suzaku impales Lelouch. Then, the music suddenly cuts off:
Dracula: Fucking useless-ass werewolf! I pay that bitch so much money to take down Belmont! Th- That's it! He just lost his boss status; he's now a normal-ass enemy! Just like all those axe armors!
"Don't worry Dracula, I'll take him d—oh, wait, nope, nope, Belmont's got me in a headlock, oh, nope, nope, he's using the holy weapon, and uhm, um, stuff sucks and oh—I'm dead."
Belmont: DIE MONSTER! YOU DONT BELONG IN THIS WORLD!
Dracula: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was called here by HUMANS, who wished to pay ME tribute.- ...you know what? Belmont... cut the crap; what are you doing here? Like, come on, I just woke up. Like, I was really looking forward to this day, and then here you are, trying to kill me, and I just woke up like not even five minutes ago.
Belmont: TRIBUTE?? YOU STEAL MEN'S SOULS...
Dracula: What?!
Belmont: ...AND MAKE THEM YOUR SLAVES!!
Dracula: Belmont, I didn't even say the word "tribute". What the hell are you talking about?
Dracula: WHAT IS A MAN?? * glass shatters* A miserable little pile of secretsBUUULLLLLLL-SHIT! That's what it is! You fucking ass! Enough talk; have at you!
"What's wrong, Belmont? I thought you had my pattern memorized by now!"
"Damnit Belmont! Stop it! Stop it Belmont! No seriously, it's fucking annoying! Are you seriously going to spamthat same move over and over?"
Dracula: Belmont, would you fucking stop that? Oh my g- I'm gonna step on your dumb ass! HYAAAA- Belmont: Hydro—* squish* PWAAAAH! Dracula: Gotcha bitch!
Maria: Richter, no!
Dracula: Wha-? Who's this bitch?
Maria: Lend him your strength! <revives Belmont>
Dracula: What in the hell is this animal bullshit? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? This is a load of BULL SHIT! I ca- I can't even touch you. I cannot touch you Belmont. This is like not even fair. Like, I'm shooting fireballs at you I mean... (spits a fireball to no effect) Yeah, yeah, it doesn't work. Yeah. You know what? I-I quit. I-I quit, I'm just gonna lay down, right here, go ahead and kill me.
Belmont: ...
Dracula: What's wrong? I said I quit, you can go ahead and kill me. Oh, oh, I get it, oh I get it, oh. Time paradox, so it has to look convincing 'cause it's Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Whatever the fuck, I don't give a damn. * sigh* Let me just... alright, lemme pretend I'm actually trying.
Belmont: OOOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHHH... HYDRO STORM!
Dracula: Ah. This Cannot Be!. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Fucking ass.
(In the afterworld...)
...Here I am... in the darkness again.
Werewolf: Hey there Dracula.
Dracula: Shut the fuck up Werewolf, I don't wanna hear from you.
"I've never had a fighter game where the movelist consisted of BRBKLRDHRBNBBRBBR + Z, or VHHRHHRKUDURRURRRRR + space bar, MHRHRHRRRRR while holding BHRRRHRHRRR."
"Oh, its the Juggernaut, bitch! Got yo' dumb ass! What the fuck was that? He's shootin' me! I'm the Juggernaut, I'm gonna kill him and I'm gonna rape him and then I'm gonna eat his fuckin' costume!"
"What the hell is he doin'? What the fuck is this shit? You can't harm me! Are you a fuckin' ass? Do you not know who I am? He must not know who I am. I'm the Juggernaut, BITCH! I'm'a hit you wit' ya own pimp!"
"Comb yo' beard, I don't wanna hear that shit!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...but I'm the Juggernaut, biiiitch..."
Babelfish. You can use it to make your own Engrish by translating a phrase through several languages and then back to English. For starters, this editor translated "where's the beef" into German, then into French, and then that into Italian before translating it to English again. I got "where the bovine meat is".
Find The Computer Room's alternate audio commentary of Sonic Underground - their Sarcasm Mode was turned on for the whole of the review. It constructs a completely insincere shrine to the show, and the best part is when they sing along to the song. Their hysterical, desperate praise of the show just wins, and the complaints are cleverly masked: "You don't need logic in this show!"
"When it comes to the safety of this planet, it's Nerv or nothin'."
More Eva-related madness: Evangelion + Pete's Dragon = OH GOD MY CHILDHOOD. This oscillates between funny and Nightmare Fuel because on one hand how wrong it is, and on the other how disturbingly accurate it is.
It was funny at first for this troper, but then she remembered Unit-01 is Yui Ikari and suddenly Shinji saying "You're joking!" and "Say it again! And again!" in response to "I love you" from his mommy seems unbearably heartbreaking. "Now we're together and life is perfect, don't ever disappear!"
The entire fight with Lollerskates in Episode 6-2 of Life In A Game. Especially when he tries to destroy the heroes....Using Dan's moves. He fails miserably
"This square is private property. I'm going to sue the shit out of you. Turtle soup...my favorite...Also, I'm Super Saiyan." * caption: SUPER SAIYAN SUPER SHREDDER - ATTORNEY AT LAW* "Dr. Robotnik with 12 ball and chains appeared!" "You gave Medium Question Big Wes MAN a copy of WILD ARMS 2 that he bought for thirty bucks at Fanime. But it's just the demo! Thirty bucks!" "LABYRINTH ZONE DANCE PARTYHAS APPEARED!" "And suddenly...Labyrinth Zone Water fills up. There are no air bubbles. 5...4...3...2...1...0* DROWN* "
The crowning moment for this troper is the climax of Chapter Poo Two of "Dirty Potter and the Fabulous Gay Farty Pee and Poo Party", in which Jim Dale repeately tries and horribly fails at saying CumbledoreDumbleniggerWagga Wagga Werewolf Dumbledore's name.
Yukari: From top: 90[cm]-59-90. Reimu: "Nice body! Hey, that's wrong! I'm not the one who eats fried tofu! Bust 90, waist 59..." Yukari: Ah! You're wrong, it's not from bust to hips... Reimu: h? Yukari: From head! Reimu:HUGE HEAD!90?! HEAD? Yukari: Ah, you're wrong. It's not width... Reimu: Eh? Yukari: But the length... Reimu:That's a monster! That's a monster. THAT'S A MONSTER! Yukari: THAT'S A— Reimu:(grabbing Yukari by the collar) DON'T MIMIC ME! Yukari: "KajiRyouji! (Yukari uses her gap to look up Reimu's skirt) Yukari: You're so simple... Reimu:(grabbing Yukari by the collar) WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE LOOKING AT?! Yukari:Take it easy!
Ran: "I'm actually assigned to drive away some thunderous girl, some crow tengu, and some miko that shows her armpits." (shot of Reimu boasting, "Fufufu, I'll show you my new armpit.") Chen: "In your face?"
Patchy: Well, if you compare yourself to a long time ago, you've probably gained some weight. Meiling: I thought this shouldn't go on, so I brought this to fix the problem. Patchy: Ah, that's one of those springs people stretch- Meiling: It's an accordion! Patchy: That won't help!
The workout routine... just, the workout routine. "Kick! Punch! It's all in the mind!" "Marisa-Marisa-Marisa! Mario-Luigi-Luigi!" "Hey, you changed it!"
The SHAMEIMARU\SYAMEIMARU/ interview contains lots of funnies and references to others, such as...
Aya: All right, let's do it together. Here goes...!
Audience: Hakurei...
Aya: Yes!
Audience: Shrine's...
Aya: Yes!
Audience: ... POOR SHRINE MAIDEN!!
Aya: YES, EXACTLY!!
Audience: SHAMEIMARU!!!
Aya: THIS ISN'T A QUIZ!! THIS ISN'T A FUCKIN' QUIZ!!!!
Cirno:(with a Christmas hat and a :D face) "My name is Cirno." Aya:(in a cardboard box) "Y-yes, I know...you've been saying that for the p-past hour..." Cirno: "It is my name." Aya: "..." Cirno: "I like ice cream." Aya: "C-Can you please...g-go somewhere else? Y-You're making it really c-c-cold..." Cirno:"HOORAY!" Aya: "Ayayayaya..." (slowly retreats into box) (At this point, Parsee comes into the screen, steals Cirno, who remains completely unfazed while being stolen. Ditto with Aya.)
Parsee not finding any Christmas decorations in Youmu's and Yuyuko's house (because Yuyuko ate them), and thus stealing the Christmas square sliding door instead.
Parsee telling Flandre to go to bed...only for Flandre to flatly tell her that she doesn't celebrate Christmas.
Alice's Christmas tree, decorated with Marisa dolls.
Since we're talking about Brawl Taunts, let's add the moment in the second episode where Captain Falcon remakes the famous Falcon Punch scene from the anime... With the Pokemon Trainer taking the place of Black Bull.
Captain Falcon : It's super effective !
The Happy Video Game Nerd, being inspired by James Rolfe himself, pokes fun of himself 'ripoffing' the Nerd himself in the Nightshade review
HVGN: (talking about Nightshade) Wow, what a guy! I'd love to meet him in person...
HVGN: HOLY SHIT! NIGHTSHADE!! -approaches Nightshade in the same manner of James in Bugs Bunny Birthday Blowout- Oh My God, I can't believe in my own house! It's Nightshade! NIGHT! FUCKIN'! SHADE!
The entirety of My Little Transformers 's rendition of What Is This Feeling from Wicked...done with She-Ra and Evil-Lyn. From the long, slow pan in as "Glinda" describes "Elphaba", to the "Hello Kitty" stationery "Glinda" uses for her letter, to the anime-style cut during the build-up to the last chorus, to how "Glinda" literally falls over when "Elphaba" shouts "Boo!", to the fact so many of the dolls' poses echo what the real actresses in the show did during that song, to even the name of the video file (inolikeyou). You will laugh until you cry. As seen here: "What Is This Feeling"
There's a quick moment in the machinima where Gordon and his sidekick arrive at the scene of a crisis, and they interpret the author's chaste usage of "they came" very literally: their crotches touch.
The parody of Episode Two's ending (second vid, around 6:26) is pure gold; enough so that it almost takes the edge off the original Player Punch:
"Dad! No! Goddammit, you let go of him!"
"Close your eyes honey!"
"Oh my god!"
"HEY ASSHOLE! LEAVE ELI ALONE!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!! HE'S JUST A HUMAN WHO BUILT A ROCKET! HE LOVES HIS DAUGHTER AND HE'S GOING THROUGH A TOUGH TIME. HE SURVIVED THE BLACK MESA INCIDENT. DID YOU DO THAT?! YOU DIDN'T DO THAT!!! LEAVE HIM ALOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE~!!!!!"
Ed Ward: My opponent Jim Franklin may claim that threatening to destroy you own city is 'insane', or 'high treason'. Insane? I'll tell you what's insane: voting for someone who doesn't know how to summon a giant lizard monster.
This troper's memory is hazy on the exact context, but a message board thread led someone to pose the question "what comes in sixes?" To which some wag replied "Gaius Baltar" and this troper nearly fell off his chair laughing.
In a thread on fashions we don't get or like, someone mentioned very light lipstick with very dark lip liner. It made the girls who wore it look terrible. Like clowns. Evil clowns. Evil clowns with anus lips. Six posts down, someone repeated "Evil clowns with anus lips" and added "Doo dah. Doo dah." This troper died.
"So basically you're just tweakin' the controller's nipples for about 15-20 minutes, however long it takes to beat the game—all four stages, all four stages. ALL FOUR STAGES. OL' BIG TIME, TREKKIN' THE BIG TIME NOW. DON'T SPOIL ME NATSUME, FOUR STAGES!" "Now the second rule is if you've got a gigantic flamethrower and your first stage is made outta ice it's gonna melt that shit to the ground. Turn it to a big puddle, it's gonna turn it to a big puddle, real quick! Now I don't see that happenin', so that's a little bit bafflin' and mind confusin'. You got a 50-foot flamethrower and you can't melt through a series of ice blocks, well, sucker punch?"
"Dawn Patch. Sets up the formula for Da Dawn Patch." "GUWAAAAAAAAANGE. This came out in 1999, same year as Giga Wing. Notice the similarity there? Gu-wang? Giga Wang?" "Mah face turns beet red, I throw my controller against the ground and start swearin, 'Fucking game-long chains. Swear to never play a shooter game again.'" "Progear no Arashi. Now playin' this game gives me rash; just kiddin', I just fuckin' hate it though." "Go play Mars Matrix."
"This is a shmup, not a pinball machine! Don't tilt the screen!" "Now it's no secret; I hate Naomi graphics. I hate these 3D plastic cone trees. So looks so artificial. When you shoot the trees they kinda shimmy back and forth like them bullets do. Shakin' they branches, if they actually had branches; they just cones. People think these graphics look nice? Just take a look at these cone trees!"
The entirety of Terry Yum Goong, the four-minute shot from The Protector set to sound effects and voices from Capcom vs. SNK 2, with Terry Bogard playing the role of the protagonist.
"Terry: "BAAAAAARN NAKU!" (punches "Bison" in the face)
From the World of Warcraft customer service forums, <GM>Batta's smackdown of someone who had it coming. For context, this guy was bitching about how he got banned for "talking about an in-game item".
Q u o t e:
The TOS is pretty much common sense, but the problem is. Why put an item in the game if we're not allowed to discuss it?
I apologize if there was any confusion about the email sent to you and the nature of the violation, Grinnar. I wish you to feel comfortable in knowing that it is okay to bring up in-game items, such as the [Huge Brown Sack] while chatting with other players.
There is still a distinction, however, between discussing the item as it pertains to the game, and commenting in the World Trade channel about said item in one's face while drunk at a frat party. I hope you can see the distinction there.
From a sadly-deleted review of Action 52: "Don't play this fucking game, because if you do, you are a fucking idiot. Does this mean I'm an idiot? Yes it does."
This attempted rebuttal of a review of FATAL. The whole thing is hilarious. Unintentionally so. Perhaps the funniest moment? Page 3, in which Byron "Abominatus" Hall apparently doesn't understand that someone calling you a "motherfucker" does not mean it literally.
Kaiba 2: What... What is this feeling inside? I've never felt this way about another person who wasn't a dragon before. Tell me your name, you beautiful son of a bitch!
Kaiba 3: ...It's either superiority, loathing, disdain, or hate. What other feelings are there?
Kaiba 2: Superiority. I think. Might be lust. You're sure you're not a dragon? I never thought the day would come that I found someone as great, handsome, and rich as me, but there you go.
Kaiba 1:I don't think there's ever been anything more beautiful than this right here.
Harry Potter, realising that in order to defeat Voldemort he must use the Dark Lord’s own methods, however despicable they might be, spends this chapter sitting on his arse doing nothing. Not that Voldemort has anything to fear: he’s had decades to practice his sitting-on-his-arse-doing-nothing, and Harry’s arse-sitting seems amateurish by comparison.
An extended conversation in ferretbrain's Playpen in which the regulars gleefully abuse the spoiler tags. It starts like this (please note, spoiler tags retained so as to preserve the joke, the conversation itself does not contain spoilers):
Dan: For what it's worth, I'm playing a new game in my head of assuming that spoiler tags are just censoring out things which are unfit for publication. Particularly Jamie informing us that social convention makes it quite unacceptable for something something something. I certainly hope nobody is something something something in public.
Jamie: Well, if you're going to be like that then you can just join me and rule the galaxy, because frankly Soylent Greenis people.
In Ferretbrain Presents the TeXt Factor: Episode 8, Arthur B—having recently finished and thoroughly disliked Dan Simmons' Drood—introduces himself thusly:
Arthur: My name is Arthur, and since I only intend for this podcast to be published a hundred-and-twenty-five years after my death, I assume you do not know my name.
Dan: Arthur I've told you this a hundred times, there is * no such writer* as Dickens. I just hypnotized you into believing there was.
From Ferretbrain Presents the TeXt Factor Episode 9: Arthur B explains a plot point from The Woman In White:
Arthur B: Basically, Percival Glyde is all like “Oh God, it's all going wrong,” and Fosco is saying “well, you're gonna let me deal with things,” and Glyde is like “Oookay,” and then Fosco is like “So, your wife, [beat] how alive do you need her?”
"YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" "So I watched the first video and I was like 'yooooo, what the fuck?' Then I continued and I was like 'yoooooooooooooooo!', THEN THEY GOT IN THE MOTHERFUCKING CAR, AND THEN I SAID 'YOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!'" "Then in video 2, there was like, two of them! Those niggas...yo...those niggas! Then that girl saw them and she...YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! And then the nigga took the dog toy and YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" "Then I saw video 3...THREE NIGGAS! THREEEEEEEEEEEE!! IT WAS THREEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!"
I Am Not Infected had what I consider their Funny Moment, at least so far, in "Zombie on a Pole". Chris punching his zombie pet so he can retrieve the bag of marshmallows he was trying to feed to her to make s'mores over a zombie on fire, who happens to be Cameraman's former crush who he refused to kill? Pretty hilarious, maybe not so much on paper. [1]
Man of Action: A lot of it, but one line always gets me: "He is the bullshit fisherman."
There's this person named Jacob Rudduck who tried an AVGN-ripoff style review of Uninvited. Then he fell into the Schmuck Bait by poking the Southern Belle. She reveals her Nightmare Fuel qualities, and Jacob's reaction is... priceless.
As befits as site devoted to Deadpan Snarkery, Television Without Pity has some pretty funny recaps, but the Funny of Funnies had to be when Keckler took time off from recapping Star Trek: Enterprise to utterly savage some of the other Trek series' ... lowlights. "Sub Rosa" nearly made this troper pass out.
"I can see why Nana fell in love with him," Dr. Bev giggles and admits that she knows it all sounds strange. Strange? No. Sick? Twisted? Repulsive? Incestuous in a way the Dark Ages never imagined? Yes. Troi concedes that it's a bit unusual, but says she's happy for her and gets up to leave. But not before delivering a bit more ship's counselor's advice. She tells Dr. Bev that she and Bonin have both suffered a great loss so they shouldn't mistake sadness for sex. Or mourning for sex. Or a light in a lamp for sex. Or a light in a lamp giving you orgasms in front of your captain for sex. Dr. Bev thanks Troi for her advice and assures her that she's not necessarily in love, she's just intrigued. Troi raises her eyebrows and loudly terrycloths out.
The sequel: Getting Eaten by a Man-Eating Fridge, Caught Hacking by Dr. Hax, Walking on Air, Being a Television, Looking at a Beautiful Painting, Sucking at DDR, Not listening to GlaDOS, Standing in QuicksandGetting run over by a Tank, Being a Girl, and the the 100th way.
The new option on certain YouTube videos to have it try to interpret dialogue and make captions. It's so bad, it's hilarious to turn on.
The Last Days Of Dr. Wily. (spoilered for the funny): "You know how when Mega Man beats a boss, he gets that boss's weapon?" "Yeah." "What if that didn't happen?" "So he gets the weapon before he fights the boss?" "No, he never gets any extra weapons, ever!" "I don't follow." And many more besides that...
This video, but the most noteworthy part for me, when Sekai is talking about Makoto:
Sekai: But he hasn't changed much since he moved, he still has this chick magnet ego with him, and he's getting on my nerves because he was just walking around to look for a girl to have sex with, (sigh), but at least the girls have their own boyfriends...
(Francis notices Zoey and Makoto kissing)
Francis: Hey! Dammit! I'm gonna kick your ass!
(He throws Makoto out of the building)
It may be easier to find a UFO in your garden than a funny moment in an Irate Gamer episode, but the parodies of that show are full of hilarious So Unfunny It's Funny moments. One such moment can be found in the beginning of this 'Save-State Gamer' episode.
When the creators of the convention of the convention Magfest sit down to plan Magfest 8, they get trolled by what turns out to be a voice actor they got as a guest...it's the voice ofDuke Nukem.
"I'm here to kick ass and go to Magfest...and I'm all outta ass!"
Weekly Tube Show's Dragonball dubs are all hilarious, if a bit vulgar and obsessed with dick jokes and toilet humor... but this rant of Vegeta's is absolutely brilliant and so funny it hurts.
goatkcd (VERY VERY NSFW) takes xkcd and replaces the last panel with, well, Goatse. How is this funny? Take this one. Or this one. Or this one. Or hell, just hit the "random" button.
Oprah: Sir, please state your name for Judge Oprah.
Drew: Hello. My name is Drew Pickles and I'm really really really really really really really gay.
Oprah: Your sexual preferences are of no interest to Oprah. Oprah is an enlightened woman. Please tell us your relationship to the defendant.
Drew: Oh wow. Well, we often get together for sweaty buttsex orgies. These often involve multiple partners and the consumption of poopy burgers, cum shakes, and splooge nuggets. After eating these, we like to put our penises in each other's mouths and go blublublublublublublublublublublublublublublu and then I put my 300 mile long cock inside Ronald's anus and it all sounds like hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha bag that was swell.
Oprah: Oprah is disgusted. Perhaps Oprah is not so open minded after all. Mr. Pickles, can you comment on the defendant's character?
Drew: Yes. The defendant is a swell poopy faggot. And that is my sworn testimony. Anyone for buttsex?
