"Don't worry Dracula, I'll take him d—oh, wait, nope, nope, Belmont's got me in a headlock, oh, nope, nope, he's using the holy weapon, and uhm, um, stuff sucks and oh—I'm dead."
Belmont: DIE MONSTER! YOU DONT BELONG IN THIS WORLD!
Dracula: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was called here by HUMANS, who wished t
o pay ME tribute.- ...you know what? Belmont... cut the crap; what are you doing here? Like, come on, I just woke up. Like, I was really looking forward to this day, and then here you are, trying to kill me, and I just woke up like not even five minutes ago.
Belmont: TRIBUTE?? YOU STEAL MEN'S SOULS...
Belmont: ...AND MAKE THEM YOUR SLAVES!!
Dracula: Belmont, I didn't even say the word "tribute". What the hell are you talking about?
* Time passes*
Dracula: WHAT IS A MAN?? * glass shatters* A miserable little pile of "Damnit Belmont! Stop it! Stop it Belmont! No seriously, it's fucking annoying! Are you seriously going to spam that same move over and over?"
secrets BUUULLLLLLL-SHIT! That's what it is! You fucking ass! Enough talk; have at you!
Dracula: Belmont, would you fucking stop that? Oh my g- I'm gonna step on your dumb ass! HYAAAA-
Belmont: Hydro—* squish* PWAAAAH!
Dracula: Gotcha bitch!
Maria: Richter, no!
Dracula: Wha-? Who's this bitch?
Maria: Lend him your strength! <revives Belmont>
Dracula: What in the hell is this animal bullshit? Are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? This is a load of BULL SHIT! I ca- I can't even touch you. I cannot touch you Belmont. This is like not even fair. Like, I'm shooting fireballs at you I mean... (spits a fireball to no effect) Yeah, yeah, it doesn't work. Yeah. You know what? I-I quit. I-I quit, I'm just gonna lay down, right here, go ahead and kill me.
What's wrong? I said I quit, you can go ahead and kill me. Oh, oh, I get it, oh I get it, oh. Time paradox
, so it has to look convincing 'cause it's Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.
Whatever the fuck, I don't give a damn. * sigh* Let me just... alright, lemme pretend
I'm actually trying.
Belmont: OOOOOOOOAAAAAAAHHHHHH... HYDRO STORM!
(In the afterworld...)
...Here I am... in the darkness again.
Werewolf: Hey there Dracula.
Dracula: Shut the fuck up Werewolf, I don't wanna hear from you.