Funny / Needful Things

• The scene where "Buster" Keeton finds the hundreds of parking tickets in his living room accusing him of embezzlement is initially a creepy Freak Out, but Keeton is such a tool and the messages on the pink slips start getting so creatively insulting, you can't help but laugh at the very Black Comedy.
  MAKE: SHITMOBILE
  MODEL: OLD AND WEARY
  LIC. #: OLDFUCK1
  OTHER VIOLATION(S): FINANCIAL FAGGOTRY
  • In the film adaptation, we have quite a few others including:
    "FOR BEING A CANTANKEROUS ZIT"
    "HORSEFUCKING"
    "CORNHOLING YOUR MOTHER"
    "FOR BEING KING SHIT"
• Alan recalls a brothel madam he once arrested: "The woman had offered him a bribe, and when he turned that down, she had tried very earnestly to knock his brains out with a birdcage. The tenant, a scrofulous parrot who sometimes said "I fucked your mamma, Frank" in a morose and thoughtful voice, had still been in the cage at the time."
• The sudden burst of slapstick nonsense around John's extremely messy desk.
• In the middle of the dark and violent climax, Frank Jewett and George Nelson line up on the steps of the Municipal Building for an old-fashioned Duel to the Death. They somehow manage to bounce each other's bullets out of the air, but after standing dumbfounded for a few seconds, both despicable men are abruptly vaporized anyway when the building explodes.
• This exchange from the movie:
  (Norris Ridgewick has Keaton dead to rights, who is handcuffed to the door of his own car, aims his gun and pulls the trigger... click)
  Norris Ridgewick: Gotcha.
  (Keaton suddenly knees Norris, then grabs him and knocks his head into the side of his Caddy, knocking him out cold)
  Danforth Keaton: (childish sing-song) Na-na-na-na-na-na! (laughs)
  (later, after getting his wife to come into the garage, where Dan is still handcuffed to the car door)
  Danforth Keaton: (scoffs) I thought you died on the john!
  (Myrtle has a WTF look on her face)
  Myrtle Keaton: Danforth, what's wrong?
  Danforth Keaton: Oh, nothing's wrong. Things are better than they've been in years. I just, uh, need a little help, is all.
  Myrtle Keaton: Danforth, you're handcuffed to the door.
  Danforth Keaton: Aren't you the fucking genius. (laugh) Get me that hacksaw, will you?
  • A few minutes later...
  Keeton: (on phone to Gaunt, distraught) I killed my wife. Is that wrong? I didn't mean to.
  Gaunt: (very affably) Hey, these things happen.
  • Then at the climax:
  (after Pangborn proclaims that Gaunt is finished, a shot suddenly rings out, hitting the Sheriff in the arm and knocking him to the ground)
  Gaunt: (with an evil mischievous smirk) Oops!
  (A deranged Dan Keaton suddenly comes out of the shop, armed with a sniper rifle)
  Danforth Keaton: If anybody's finished in this town, it's you Pangborn!
  Gaunt: Finally, a man with some sense.
  Danforth Keaton: You guys sound like a fucking AA meeting! (puts down his rifle) "Hi, my name is Dan and I'm here to blow up—" (opens his coat to reveal a bomb vest) "—your fucking town!"

  • The TNT extended version changes the swear words to childish insults, making the above exchange even funnier.
  Danforth Keaton: "Hi, my name is Dan and I'm here to blow up your stupid town!"
  Danforth Keaton: ... it was you all along you scuz bucket!
  Gaunt: Sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me!